Category Archives: Friendship

Young Love (#23)

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As the days passed, I wrestled with my feelings, frustrated that I couldn’t fully commit to Nate. One of the problems was that I viewed love as having two levels: (1) loving someone just for the joy of it, and (2) loving someone enough to marry him… for better or for worse, and for keeps.

I knew I loved Nate (1), but marriage? That number (2) was a doozy of a decision. A week of days together was coming, though, and I hoped it would shake me loose from my emotional log-jam. I would have to work, but we’d be together parts of every day.

hmmmMar. 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. My team teacher says I should choose a mate based half on logic and half on love. She really likes you and says you are A+ in both. Actually, she told me she wished she was 20 years younger about now (wink).

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you very much. This spring vacation will be great. Your parents and mine will get to know us and begin to think of us together as a couple. There is a great deal I want to show you in my home town, come the weekend. We’ll get to take long walks near your house and mine, and most important, spend time in prayer and worship. Easter sunrise service!

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. My folks are glad about our arrangements to stay in Wilmette with them for part of your vacation week. Being together for 6-7 days straight will be a helpful thing in determining the direction of our relationship. My roommate has a boyfriend she loves, but it’s frustrating for her to wait and wonder when he’ll next call or ask her out. It makes me thankful that there’s no guessing with you. You are sure. You are unlike any other guy I’ve ever known… in so many ways.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I think of you constantly. When I think of the future, I realize that your personal decision, our parents’ feelings, and both of us being absolutely certain about marriage still present themselves. But you have plenty of time. I love you, and love waits. Whoever wins your heart will be fortunate and will have to work hard to merit you. My only doubt about our relationship is whether I am good enough for you.

letters-galoreMar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I got four letters today! Wow! I love you! Fantastic woman! Before studying for my ROTC test I had to write to thank you and comment on your essential goodness which deserves a life of kissing and hugging and admiration.

 

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you come, I sure would love to see the movie “2001” before it’s gone. We could have a good discussion afterwards, since there are some poignant moral questions posed in the show, or so I hear. But we won’t have to spend too much money during the week if we don’t want to. There are lots of inexpensive things we can enjoy. I love you, Nate.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. Tonight I tried on several dresses that I can possibly wear to the military ball on April 12. My roommate let me borrow one, and I have 6 bridesmaids gowns. I should probably wear one of those, since they’ve only been worn once each. But it’s tempting to get something new.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for two new letters, warm and sparkling with Meg. I am hoping this coming week will be decisive for you. Of course you know I’ve already decided on you. But don’t feel you must rush a decision this week. You have all the time in the world. I can be patiently happy to wait for you. Last night it took me 2 hours of thinking about you before I could fall asleep, and I awoke thinking of you. I love you! And now lover-boy has to go put his towels and socks into the dryer.

“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Young Love (#19)

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Both Nate and I continued our letter-writing, often two or three a day, in an effort to keep the relationship current and growing despite the miles between us. I hadn’t yet told Nate I loved him, because I wasn’t sure I did. I also knew that once I said/wrote it, there would be no holding him back. He’d be at my door with a ring. As it was, each of his letters contained multiple “I love you’s” – one had 8 of them.

certain-of-loveAlthough his frame of mind was upbeat in every letter, my moods were all over the place, like a flapping flag on a windy day. But his confidence about our future together seemed to be enough to sustain us both. When I became disheartened, he remained positive, always sending encouragement through his written words.

Mar. 12, 1969 – Dear Meg. If you are discouraged, Mary and Bervin are excellent people for you to talk to. You ought to consider their opinions and consult them often. They can guide and comfort. Sisters who are close in age, education, faith matters, etc. have much to offer each other.

Mar. 12, 1969 – Dear Nate. If it wasn’t for your persistence in developing our relationship, where would we be? Probably a thing of the past. If things ever do work out for us, my happiness will actually be the result of your steady attitude. I do think that meeting your parents, going to your home, and understanding more of your life will be helpful influences on me.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Meg. This afternoon I have ROTC drill at 4:00. I am First Sergeant, which means I call the company into formation, receive roll call, report it to the commander, and dismiss the four platoons. Some time we’ll have a talk about the Army, and I can explain some Army words (the nice ones, that is). I’m sorry you can’t come this weekend. I’ll bury myself in law books to forget…. But I’ll be sad anyway. I want to be with you as much as possible.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Nate. Did I ever tell you that I like it when you call me “Meg?” Creativity runs through your life and personality.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Meg. I miss you every hour, but this weekend as the pace of events slows, I’ll miss you more than ever. This fortnight without you is a torture. I love you. Love, Nate.

thinkingMar. 14, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m going to mention my old boyfriend again now – only because I don’t want you to worry about that situation. I want you to be aware of what’s going through my mind. He called and wanted to go out tonight for Chinese food and to play pool. But I’m not going. I think he’s getting bored with his new girlfriend and feels like he and I can get back together. I’m aware of the danger of that and don’t want to be more than “occasional friends.” We may go out some, but I think I could take it or leave it. I won’t ever go back to him as his girlfriend.

Mar. 15, 1969 – Dear Meg. You are certainly free to go out with him and any others. Thank you for your honesty. My parents will be here to meet you and eat with us Saturday at noon. I love you and love to hear that sweet voice over the phone. After that I can’t do anything but think of you for hours.

Mar. 15, 1969 – Dear Nate. I may be confused, but I’m happy. Because of God, I can rest in knowing He will guide me in my decision about marriage. I can thank Him in advance for making the right choice and also for taking care of your heart, and mine. We are lucky to belong together to Him.

“Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…” (Ephesians 4:1-2)

Young Love (#18)

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studyingThe 156 miles between Nate and me were beginning to take their toll. Although we got together as often as schedules and finances allowed, visits were often limited to one day, either because of his commitments or mine. I looked forward to being with Nate and in all our times together hadn’t noticed anything I disliked.

So why wasn’t I able to surrender to him? In addition to fearing another broken heart, there was one other reason – I worried about making a commitment “on the rebound” from my old boyfriend. He and I had formally broken up 4 months previously, but the break-up apparently hadn’t stuck. At a minimum, it was sloppy. Committing to Nate while that relationship was still “alive” didn’t seem right. If my old boyfriend had genuinely become a Christian during this time, right or wrong I would have gone back to him in a flash.

Mar. 9, 1969 – Dear Meg. The military ball is 12 April; women wear formals, and men uniforms. And I think the weekend for meeting my parents will be before the ball. But no weekend can be greater than our last one together. You were sweet, precious, womanly. I love you very much, Meg.

Mar. 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. This week we’re beginning a unit on animals in both kindergartens, and today we studied the difference between zoo and farm animals – why we don’t put kitties behind bars or lions behind low fences. I eagerly look forward to being with my little kidlets each day. But I miss you, too.    Meg.

Mar. 10, 1969 – Dear Meg. I was thinking this morning of all the sweet little things you do… your laugh, when you tease me and try to tickle me, the way you close your eyes when I kiss you. Each facet of your demeanor I remember and think about. You’re a wonderful person. My life would really have missed someone if I hadn’t met you. Of all 4 years in college, you are my finest memory. And what’s even better is that our relationship continues and grows…

Mar. 10, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve asked my folks about you coming up here over the week of your spring vacation with both of us staying at my Wilmette house for 3 days or so before I go with you to your house for that weekend. Such steady togetherness should be helpful. If I had extra hours in each day, I’d like to spend them writing and talking to you. Would we ever run out of things to say?

confusedMar. 11, 1969 – Dear Meg. On Saturday, 22 March, we’ll have dinner with my parents here in Champaign and maybe see a movie or something at Assembly Hall. And… you are a fabulous person to spend time witnessing to your co-worker. She perhaps has so much faith in man because she has lost it in her own father (who was Our Father’s representative to her on earth). Mark 7 has much to say about faith in man-made traditions. I am angered by those who argue that science answers everything and that life is always getting better. Remember that man has never failed to use any weapon he’s developed, including the atomic bomb; sooner or later he will use the hydrogen bomb.

Mar. 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. I really want Mom and Dad to get to know you as I do. It hurts that very few of my friends and relatives know you.

Mar. 11, 1969 – Dear Meg. Going on a campaign to “educate” your parents and friends about us is very good; you want to include them in your feelings. Then, when you finally reach a decision one way or another, they won’t be shocked. Besides, we always enjoy feelings more when we share them with loved ones.

“Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests… Be alert and always keep on praying…” (Ephesians 6:18)