Category Archives: Friendship

Young Love (#8)

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Life bounced along at a happy pace through Christmas, as I enjoyed the attentions of one long-distance guy and another up-close one. Both relationships were moving forward, and I didn’t see any potential conflict. I even entertained thoughts of what it might be like to be married to one or the other, but didn’t try to choose.

It had been a year since I’d seen Nate, and as Dec. 27 approached, I grew more and more excited…

…until an unexpected phone call knocked me for a loop.

getting-readyIt was Dec. 26, the day before Nate was to arrive, and when I picked up the phone, my heart stopped. It was my old boyfriend. Though it had been 9 weeks since our traumatic break-up, when I heard his voice, I melted. He asked if I might want to get together that evening, just as “friends,” and in a swirl of confused but lovely feelings, I said yes.

Since there are no letters written about that night, I’ll quote from my journal:

Dec. 26, 1968 – We went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, and it was just like old times – beautiful. Since we were now “good friends,” he was eager to tell me about his new girlfriend. As he confided in me, I had all I could do to keep my jealous feelings in check. I had to silently pray for constant support.

He told me they were making plans to move in together. Though I knew I shouldn’t have been wounded by that news (after all, we were broken up), it absolutely crushed me.

But after he was done mentioning “her,” I enjoyed every minute, relishing the time with him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He told me he’d have to leave my house by 1:00 AM that night, but at 3:30 we were still talking. When we finally hugged goodbye, it felt good to be wrapped in his arms again. He told me he still “liked me a lot” and hoped we could have many more get-togethers. He left close to 4:00 AM.

I don’t feel much like seeing Nate tomorrow. I’ll have to really work at it. I’ve just got to get a positive attitude before then, or it’ll flop badly.

broken-heartDec. 27, 1968 – Nate comes today, but this morning all I can think about is (my old boyfriend). But I figured out that his new girlfriend is the one factor preventing me from going back to him and laying my heart at his feet, which would be an utter fatality. So, I see that she is the Lord’s answer to my prayers, His preventive medicine for me, and I absolutely must swallow it. It’s agony! But it’s 100% effective…

“This is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

Young Love (#7)

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The count-down was on for a visit from Nate after Christmas. My non-dating, long-distance relationship with him became convoluted, though, when another suitor, this one from my church, began including me in his weekend rallies with Campus Crusade. He was spiritually deep, and I enjoyed getting to know him without the slightest twinge of guilt about Nate. After all, neither he nor I had made a commitment to each other, though it was obvious he wanted one. This friend and I began sitting in church together and taking long walks along Chicago’s lakefront. But I thought it best not to mention it in my letters to Nate.

lotsa-lettersDec. 13, 1968 – Dear Nate. Here’s a question for you: did you used to call me “Meg” in words or just in writing? I forgot. (Actually, writing is words, I know, but you know what I mean.)

Dec. 16, 1968 – I called you “Meg” in my letters and in person. Can you tell that it’s pretty obvious I would like to make a go of it with you? I could drive up from Champaign more often if we had a more serious relationship. Being alone with you sounds good. Actually double good.

Dec. 19, 1968 – Nate, thank you for your nice letter. I read it 4 times, smiling through all 4 readings. (And now I’ll bet you’re wondering what you wrote!) It was very complimentary. But maybe it was just my mood. By the way, are you Swedish? I told my family you are coming after Christmas, and they began discussing your name, Nyman. Dad held to his opinion that it was Swedish. I didn’t think so, but added that you do have blond hair.

coffeeDec. 22, 1968 – Dear Meg. Yes, I am of Swedish descent. My great-grandfather, Peter Swan Nyman, came from Southern Sweden to the U.S. in the 1860’s. He was a clockmaker. Granny has an old picture of him; he has a mustache that looks like the Kaiser’s. She also has a huge Swedish Bible published in 1762, which he brought with him from Sweden. You spoke of my blond hair as a Swedish trait. Here’s another…. I like coffee.

Dec. 22, 1968 – Dear Nate. I don’t owe you a letter yet, but I’m writing anyway. I want to tell you something. Tonight after church we had a party for about 35 kids, ages 19-25. They stayed until 1:30 AM, and I was co-hostess. I was kept busy serving food, instructing in games, pouring coffee, but at one point had a quiet moment to observe everyone having a good time. And before I knew it, my thoughts were with you. I wished you were among the guests, because I wanted to talk to you. That’s all.

Dec. 23, 1968 – When I returned from Army Drill, exhausted and cold, I found your note in the mailbox. It warmed me! You’re the best little Svenska flicka! Many times I’ve thought how much I’d like to have you down here as a student so we could see each other often. A very close and natural relationship would develop.

God’s wisdom… “gives knowledge and discretion to the young.” (Proverbs 1:4)

Young Love (#6)

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As the holidays approached, Nate was feeling swamped with watching over his freshman guys and trying to keep up with a mountain of homework. But he was not too busy to continue writing letters.

As my former dating relationship gradually loosened its grip on my heart, I began, ever so slightly, to turn toward Nate in a way I never had, thinking about him more often through each day’s routine.

Nov. 24, 1968 – Dear Nate. Your involvement with these 72 undergrad men and their well-being is really something! You’ll have a wealth of experience after your job as their counselor is over. I’ll pray for your wisdom to make the decisions that are best for your men and the school. I’m already praying for your safety. And I’ve decided to mail you a Thanksgiving surprise, since you have to stay on campus through the holiday.

the-holidaysNov. 29, 1968 – Dear Meg. Without your special turkey, Thanksgiving would have been another mere holiday; with your great, multi-colored [paper] bird, it was a celebration! Thank you! I would like to visit you after Christmas. Perhaps the weekend of Dec. 27th-28h? How is that for you? By the way, after this semester, law school is half over.

Dec. 2, 1968 – Dear Nate. Thank you for writing. Your letter was good, and the 27th and 28th are reserved for you. I’m glad you’re coming. It would be great if neither one of us were disappointed with the other. I hope we will be glad. As for me, I’m very busy with my students and getting ready for Christmas. When my head hits the pillow each night, I’m utterly exhausted, but happy. I’m thinking of letting my hair grow again. I just found some pictures of senior year when it was long, though, and I look pretty witchy. What do you think?

Dec. 6, 1968 – Dear Meg. I will see you at the end of this month! I hope very much that neither of us is disappointed. My men are acting up. Last Thursday night I bailed one out of county jail on disorderly conduct arising out of a dispute in a card game. Saturday night I bailed another one out on possession of stolen property. If anyone ever asks you if college kids are wild today, you can answer yes. But to answer your question, let your hair grow long. I love it that way.

Dec. 8, 1968 – Dear Nate. The 8th grade class at my school asked me to be their chaperone on their class hayride Dec. 22. I was flattered, but here’s how they asked: “We’ve talked it over and decided you weren’t over the hill yet and might be good on a hayride.” They weren’t joking. Boy, did I feel old at 23.

Dec. 9, 1968 – Dear Nate. I’m trying to remember exactly what you look like. So I looked in my old photo album from senior year and found a picture of you talking and gesturing with my father on our front walk. Do you remember that? Below the picture is one of me with two girlfriends. Boy, was I fat.

nate-and-dadDec. 12, 1968 – I do remember standing on the walk in front of your house with your father. I also remember very much and fondly, his daughter. The thought of college does bring many good memories — especially senior year, meeting you.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)