If Walls Could Talk

A while ago Nelson and I were running errands and decided to take the back roads home instead of the highway (for 28 miles). He said, “There’s lots of interesting stuff off the beaten trail that nobody gets to see.”

Three Oaks schoolhouseDriving along winding roads past country fields, colorful farm equipment, and family vegetable stands, we rounded a bend and came to something significant: an old-fashioned, one-room school- house. Its foundation was of rocks, the rest of it built with small red bricks.

Nelson pulled over so we could take a closer look. A plaque verified its name (Spring Creek School), age (1886), district (No. 3), and current owner (Three Oaks Township Parks and Recreation).

School children, 1800'sWe tried to imagine what students were like as they attended this school 127 years ago, wondering how many studied at once. Though the door was locked, through a window we saw a giant pot-bellied stove and later learned it was original to the school, along with the thick plank flooring and wood-paneled walls.

Little House booksImmediately I thought of the “Little House on the Prairie” books, much-loved and often- read in our home. Laura Ingalls was a school girl in the 1880’s too, so the children who attended Spring Creek School  probably lived lives very similar to hers. Later we learned the “modern” brick school had replaced a cherry-wood, one-room log school built in 1844 on that spot.

Far more important than how the little red schoolhouse came into being, though, or even how well it’s held up through the decades, were the connections made between those who passed through its door. Childhood friendships, student-teacher relationships, mentoring situations, and student-to-student tutoring all probably mattered longer than just school hours. When people left for the day, for the year, or even permanently, what remained?

We learn in Scripture that relationships are really all that matter: (1) God, Jesus, and the Spirit to each other; (2) members of that Trinity to us; and (3) people to people. How we relate is critical (both for now and for eternity) and the Lord steadily supplies opportunities for us to practice making wise choices on both counts. If and when we fail, he doesn’t give up on us but soon provides another go-round at exactly what we messed up the first time.

Children and adults alike can be kind to each other or act badly, choosing to either inspire or discourage others. But in wondering about the children and teachers who used the little Spring Creek School, I like to think that solid friendships were made during the 1880’s and beyond, positive influences that lasted through future generations, all the way till today.

Three Oaks, 1886Wanting to find out, Nelson walked to a nearby farm to ask a few  questions. Approaching the stand of fresh strawberries out in front, he asked the woman there if she knew anything about the school. “Oh yes,” she said, handing him a pint of berries. “My grandfather was a student there, and our farm here was his farm.”

And she still lives there, just across the road from Spring Creek School.

“Live in harmony with one another…. Never be wise in your own sight.” (Romans 12:16)

Done in Love

Mom always referred to a daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-love, which was a positive way to begin well. The label “in-law” isn’t very warm or inviting but implies we’re related to each other only because the law says so. Maybe that’s why the better description is “daughter-in-love.”

Katy and crowd

My daughter-in-love Katy has been an asset to Hans and our whole family since the day she said “I do,” and because she and I have known each other for 7+ years, we’re well along in our relationship. Though living far apart has its negatives, there is one positive: when I visit, I “move in” and get to be part of the family. By fitting in with their busy household, I get the inside scoop on how life is going. I can learn what the stresses are and witness the joys.

Katy was the firstborn of 5 siblings in her family, and in that position has always been an excellent organizer and planner. But running a household with 4 children (ages 4 and under) presents minute-to-minute challenges her former life of order and control never knew. Sometimes all 4 need her at the same time that the phone is ringing and the pot is boiling over. So Katy, a naturally disciplined person, can struggle with such unplanned turmoil. On occasion she’s had to bend nearly to her breaking point. When that happens, though, she knows exactly what to do, because she’s not just my daughter-in-love. She’s God’s, too.

Her “–in-love” relationship with him differs from the one with me in that she never had to win him over. Though I find Katy very easy to love, if she hadn’t been, it might have taken longer for us to develop a relationship. As for God, it wouldn’t have mattered one bit. Her daughtership to him is an “-in-love” one, not because she’s wise, optimistic, and flexible (which she is), or because any law dictates it, but because he wants it that way.

All of us can be blessed with an “-in-love” connection that’s meaningful. The only thing we have to do is commit ourselves to God. Though we don’t become related to him through a marriage, we do by adoption, and because he chose us, his love is strong.

Katy

Being adopted, we are given all the rights of spiritual daughters-in-love (or sons-in-love), which include his stress-management help. So when Katy’s world closes in on her, she knows what to do. She calls on her Father and is sure he’ll come through for her, because “-in-love” relationships find pleasure in helping like that.

I’m so glad Katy is God’s daughter-in-love, and I’m also thankful he’s allowed her to be mine, too, not in quite the same way, but in a way that’s very, very nice.

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”  (Ephesians 1:5)

Team Gran UK

Here in north England, my British grandchildren spent the day with their two grandmas, Katy’s mum Dandy (i.e. Sarah) and Hans’ mom MeeMee (i.e. me). Each year we grannies excitedly anticipate this day with our shared little ones even more than they look forward to being with us. Although we began our tradition to give their mummy some free time, now Sarah and I would get together regardless.

Cattle crossingWe hiked country trails, dashed under leafy trees during two cloudbursts, made friends with a mama cow and her baby, learned to step around fresh “cow pats” and gathered woodsy treasures in over-the-shoulder bags.

 

Baking by committee

Later, back in Sarah’s kitchen, we group-baked “cow pat biscuits” (widely-spreading oat cookies), consistent with our country theme.

As much fun as it is to share a day with our little ones, what Sarah and I anticipate most is our annual chat during their afternoon rest time. Today, after making a fresh pot of coffee and settling in at her large kitchen table, we caught up on a year’s worth of changes in both our families. Between her 5 children and my 7, we had more to share than one quiet time for grandchildren allowed.

FriendsChristian friendship is one of God’s most precious gifts, and he leads us into relationships in the most unusual ways. Although Sarah and I met only recently (2006) and see each other only annually, we’ve come into a special appreciation of each other. One of the reasons for that is that God is always working on a hidden agenda when he brings two people together as friends.

As usual, he wants to pour his wisdom into us, and friendship is an excellent place for him to do it. For example, today as I was sharing about a recent personal challenge, I broke down and cried. Though I don’t often weep around others, somewhere my subconscious knew Sarah’s lavish compassion would be ok with that.

Her response was nourishing, and our honest back-and-forth continued through the afternoon. God was demonstrating for me, through Sarah, how he wants me to respond to others with that same kind of compassion. And what better way to learn it than from a good friend?

Through friendship God also wants to teach us how to encourage each other. Today Sarah offered loving support to me, and I hope I did to her. In addition, he wants us to challenge each other with the truth, to stick by each other in times of tension, and to offer the counsel he gives us to pass along to one another. And he’s hoping we’ll learn all this within friendships.

As for the little people in our charge today? Though they are our precious grands, year to year, they are also becoming our friends.

Cow pat biscuits going into the ovenCow pat biscuits fresh out of the oven“When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” (Romans 1:12)