Category Archives: Friendship

A-Z

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Katie and her mom PamToday my friend Pam came over, along with her daughter Katie. Since they live in Denver, this coming-over was very special, an event that’s happened only a handful of times since Pam and I left college in 1967. These two ladies have criss-crossed the country to the tune of 5000 Jeep-miles, dropping in on people who’ve had a part in supporting Katie’s missionary commitment with Wycliffe Bible Translators. Thankfully my house was on their route, and we enjoyed sharing conversation and hot soup on this snowy winter day.

Pam remembered Lake Michigan as being the first really-big lake she’d ever seen (during our Wheaton years), so despite their tight travel agenda, after lunch the three of us made a quick trip to the beach. In an effort to save time, Katie volunteered to drive her Jeep to the lake, confident a fresh foot of snow wouldn’t hinder us.

But confident or not, most of life skips over Plan A and moves directly to B, C, and beyond. After a refreshing visit to the beach, we headed back to the Jeep through snow deeper than the underside of the car. Then as we tried to move forward (as well as back and forth), gravity slid us sideways.

We landed inches from a row of sharp rocks that threatened to slice our spinning tires, but Pam and Katie (seasoned travelers) were well prepared with two military-style shovels. As a result, our story had a happy ending, but we could easily have spun against the rocks, unable to move at all (Plan C), or found ourselves Googling “tire stores” for an evening of unplanned shopping and expense (Plan D).

No one is very good at predicting the unknown, which includes everything beyond the present moment. As those unknowns become known, sometimes we’re forced to pass through different Plans almost as fast as a child can sing the A-B-C song.

Plan B

This afternoon Pam, Katie, and I had no desire for a Plan B, which included kneeling in deep snow and bending beneath car bumpers to speed-shovel the snow away from 4 tires. But we did it in an attempt to revisit Plan A rather than miss the travelers’ afternoon and evening appointments in Chicago.

This time, against the usual odds, that worked. After digging out, we proceeded with confidence, and the Jeep lurched from the drifts onto the road, allowing my visitors to get to Chicago on time.

But what about when lettered plans move through the alphabet faster than we can adjust to them? That’s when our only choice is to surrender to the Plan-maker who will show us how to view Plans A-B-C-D not as steps down but as stepping stones to the higher ground he has in mind for us. In his mind, each revision is progress.

And he doesn’t even require a 4WD to move forward.

“Lord…. in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.” (Isaiah 25:1)

Memories are made of this.

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  • 3 cousinsMake new friends,
  • And keep the old.
  • The one is silver
  • And the other gold.

The week just past has been golden. My sister and I are close-in-heart to three cousins (Gloria, Patti, and Jan) who live 2000 miles away. In addition to being our relatives, they’re also our friends. Old friends, gold friends, of 60+ years. And they were just here for a visit.

In the last few days we’ve shared one adventure after another. For people our ages, ordinary living can escalate into excitement without too much trouble. Take electronic tasks, for example. Buying tickets on line, hooking a computer to a TV, and transferring photos electronically all led to good memory-making and sometimes even success.

Electronic wizardsBattling file transfers

Throughout the week we’ve been stockpiling memories, not because we’ve spent lots of money, filled the agenda with events, or pursued unique thrills. All we did was come together with a loose plan to learn the latest about each other.

Anyone can successfully make good memories with relatives or friends if they’re willing to do two things: spend time and expend effort. If we expect to grow closer to our favorite people, we have to commit to those two things.

This is true even with God.

If we want to steadily become closer to him as a Friend and Relative and make fresh memories with him, it requires the expense of time and our making the effort.

Gloria, Jan, and Patti put forth a major effort to travel across the country for this visit: clearing busy schedules, making arrangements to be absent from their homes, paying for plane tickets, and adjusting to the changes of three time zones. Mary and I do the same when we visit them in California. Are these memory-making trips worth it? All 5 of us nod simultaneously.

Pedestal

The loftier question is how much arranging and adjusting are we willing to do to make fresh memories with God? Are we content to merely put him on a pedestal and worship from a distance? Or are we so excited about his invitation to be his friend that we’re willing to carve out time and make a wholehearted effort to pursue that?

Gloria, Jan, and Patti left for their homes today, and after a week together, we’re now up-to-date all-around. Our memory banks are full with new understanding of what each is thinking and what specific challenges each is facing. During scores of hours we shared our hearts with one another, which included current hopes and dreams. As a result, now that we have all the new info, each of us knows how to better connect with the others, as well as how to pray more effectively.

Cousins

But are we just as eager to connect with God on such an intimate level? He’s got the time and will make the effort, if we will. And when we’re willing, the result will be pure gold.

“A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17)

Helping the Needy

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Most of us can remember a time when we’ve needed the help of someone else, which can be a humbling experience. I well remember a time when the recipient of help was me.

Linnea en route.

In 1977 when Nate and I were expecting baby #3, I was having a hard time. Pregnancies #1 and #2 had been problem-free, but the third had presented a new problem: varicose veins. The OB sent me to a specialist, who looked at my swollen legs, crossed his arms and said, “Stay off your feet, or I’ll have to put you in a bed.” (Nelson was 4 at the time, Lars was 2, and I was on my feet most of every day.)

Before I left his office, he applied compression bandages to my legs, gave me a prescription for heavy custom-made stockings, and sent me home to put my feet up. When I gave the details to Nate, he just shook his head and grimaced, not knowing how we would make it through.

Rolled poster

Several days later, I was working a shift in the church nursery when several girlfriends arrived at the door carrying a rolled-up poster. “For you,” Miriam said, handing it to me. “We want to help.”

I couldn’t imagine what she meant, but when I unrolled it, I saw a giant calendar that included every remaining week of my pregnancy, plus one more. A different friend’s name was written on each week. “We’re going to do all your household chores for you,” Miriam said, “one of us each week.”

I couldn’t believe it! Each of them had babies and toddlers of their own, along with chore lists, families, and houses to tend to. I responded by blubbering, “Oh, you don’t have to do that! I’ll be fine!” But they said, “It’s not up for negotiation. Like it or not, we’re coming.”

The Helpers

I’ve never forgotten their touching gift, and Nate was deeply grateful, too. Their hard work on our behalf also made an impression on our young boys, and most importantly, God appreciated it.

Scripture tells us that whenever someone helps the needy, God is pleased. Not only that, but he lines up special blessings for those helpers. And there’s more. He makes careful note of their work, preparing lavish rewards for them that will last throughout eternity.

My girlfriends followed through on their chart, arriving at my house according to their scheduled times. They kept my home and family running better than I ever had, and if that wasn’t enough, each week the scheduled worker brought dinner for that evening.

And now we're three.

Baby Linnea eventually arrived safely, and several months after her birth, my veins were corrected through surgery. And the bottom line for my friends? The effects of their good deeds will literally last forever.

“Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)