Category Archives: Friendship

Girlfriend-Love

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1980'sRecently I returned from a fun-filled 4 days in Phoenix with 2 friends I met decades ago. Sue, Gaye, and I began our three-way-friendship in a school parking lot as moms of same-age sons and daughters. But our kids weren’t our strongest bond, because almost immediately we learned we were also sisters-in-Christ.

As friendships grew, we began meeting to pray regularly for our children, supporting each other through thick and thin. Over time the kids grew up and left home – and so did we. Sue and Don moved to Colorado, Gaye and Bob to Arizona, and Nate and I to Michigan. Though the three of us continued praying long distance, visits became rare.

2018A week ago, though, after a decade of separation, we finally got together again, this time in Phoenix. The highlight for all of us was as it always had been – a group prayer time.

Our 3 families that originally numbered 18 have become 52, so there was lots to cover. But God listened just as carefully as he always had, and we have confidence that he’s still a God of action. Though some of our requests haven’t yet been answered despite years of prayer, we were able to share praise reports with him, too.

One of my favorite parts about praying aloud with friends is being able to listen in on someone else’s conversation with God – about our loved ones. This is especially encouraging in relation to those long-term requests.

When a new voice tackles an old issue, the words come alive with fresh meaning. A sister-in-Christ might pray different scriptural promises over a stagnant situation, asking God to move in ways her friends might not have thought to ask. And as she pours her heart out about one of “ours,” it’s an affirmation of girlfriend-love.

Although prayer isn’t tangible, it is eternal. After all, it’s just conversation with the Lord. Also, since Scripture says Jesus prays for us (Luke 22:32) and the Holy Spirit is interpreting our prayers for God (Romans 8:26), it’s likely that the citizens of paradise are continuing in prayer, too. Unlike us, though, their requests go directly to a visible God.

Mary & NateI believe my husband Nate and sister Mary are talking to Jesus about those of us still on earth, requesting glorious blessings from the God who never runs out of them. (Deuteronomy 28:12)

After 4 days together, Sue, Gaye, and I came too quickly to our goodbyes, but it wasn’t sad. That’s because we’ll still be praying over the same requests, figuratively meeting in God’s throne room “together.” And no matter the miles between us, that will always be true.

“In every situation…. present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

Worth the Wait

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1990Scripture says children are a blessing (Psalm 127:5). I’ve always found that to be true and was excited, from about the age of 12, that one day I might have some of my own. When adulthood finally came, much to my delight, kids came, too, and as predicted, they brought blessings.

They also brought a big surprise — that the joys of being a parent continue even after children become adults.

In all my years of hands-on mothering, no one ever told me about this happy phenomenon. Nobody mentioned that receiving a heart-felt letter of love from a 30-something would trump even the charming artwork of a kindergartener. The loving touch of an adult child is, I believe, one of the parenting “rewards” the Bible promises.

When I was in the thick of full-time mothering with 7 youngsters at home, there were some days when I craved time away from these blessings. But not so with my adult kids.

7 plus 1.

(L. to R. Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Birgitta, me, Hans, Louisa, Nelson

Rather than the energy drain young children can be, time with adult children is more like a filling-up. It gives me great pleasure to sit back at family gatherings and listen to my brood talk together – whether it’s politics, theology, or just reminiscing. There’s something incredibly appealing about listening to and watching them.

And then there are the one-on-one moments when a depth of heart is shared in confidence. Little children are enchanting, and for many reasons I love being around them. But they don’t need friendship from their parents as much as guidance, protection, and teaching. Once they’ve grown up, however, children and their parents have the happy option to just be friends.

I especially enjoy when my adult kids find new ways to say “I love you.” For instance, late one night Louisa decided to make Swedish pancakes — long after I’d gone to bed.

Louisa's pancakeThe next morning, I came downstairs, opened the fridge, and found an “I love you” waiting for me – a pancake with my name on it. (She calls me Midge.) Despite being tired after a long day of work and errands, Louisa had thought kindly of her old mama, reaching out as a loving friend. Though the pancake was yummy, far more delicious was the connection she’d taken time to make.

As I gain in years, I know the relationships with my adult children will continue to be important. And another thing I’ve learned for sure: Children truly do bring blessing…. all the way along.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

A Few Words from Mary

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Today, September 24, marks two years since my sister Mary died. As is true for anyone who’s lost someone precious, I still experience strong frustration at not being able to talk to her. Having valued her opinions and ideas for 70 years, I feel a void because of her absence.

1973 setSince the early 70’s when we had our first babies, the topic we most talked about (for the next 45 years) was mothering. We shared the highs and – more importantly – the lows. We  hashed over problems, exchanged solutions, and recognized God’s ongoing partnership.

 

M.E.P.Thankfully, Mary left behind many of her opinions and ideas about mothering, and recently I found a sampling. During the years we worked together in the Moody Church nursery, our Nursery Committee put out a quarterly newsletter called the Crib Sheet.

Each issue began with an article called THE HIGH CHAIR written by our chairman — Mary. She shared what was important to her, and in the issue I just came across, she summarizes what she calls the “privilege” of motherhood. Re-reading it today was a satisfying way to remember and honor her:

Crib Sheet

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them!” (Luke 18:16)  Mary loved it when they came to her, too. Then one day Jesus asked Mary to come to him…. and she did.