Newlywed Love (#119)

November 13-15, 1970

Nate continued to leave notes for me, many of them thank you’s. I loved him for writing them and got a kick out of his hiding places.

One note was stuck in the steering wheel of my car, another under my pillow. Notes were taped to the bathroom mirror, the front door, and the kitchen sink. Once he bought me an Eskimo pie and attached his note to it in the freezer: “Happy Wednesday!” he wrote. Occasionally I’d find a message among the frozen vegetables.

Another noteNate thanked me for cleaning the apartment, folding his undershirts, and making breakfast.

Of all the notes he left, though, my favorite was his simple “I love you,” something he had said consistently from the beginning of our then-one-sided relationship. Even when I hadn’t loved him, he’d written of his love for me.

He did many other things that spoke love to me. He opened doors, whether it was at the apartment, in a store, a church, someone else’s home, or anyplace – including the car. Even if it meant standing in the rain, he always took care of me first.

Bearing burdensHe brushed every new snowfall off my car and always carried boxes or bags for me, even if they weren’t heavy. He pulled out every chair for me, never seating himself before I was settled – even when it was just the two of us in our apartment. And at the dinner table, he never helped himself to any of the food before offering the serving bowls to me.

When we took our evening strolls around the neighborhood, he faithfully walked on the curb side, the old-fashioned, gentlemanly way to shield a lady from harm. I marveled at how seamlessly he changed sides if we went around a corner or across the street, almost like a smooth dance.

Ice waterAny time he got a glass of water or a Pepsi for himself, he’d ask if I wanted one, too, and then would prepare them both. And he never sent me off to work without giving several delicious kisses. When I returned, he had a bunch more ready for me.

On cold days he made a cozy fire before I came in from work, knowing this would warm me inside and outside. As we talked on a blanket in front of it, he was careful not to interrupt me and always focused on my face when I talked.

Even when we were in a group, he kindly introduced me and spent time talking to me as well as others. By his consistent example in these ways, he let me see what life looked like when one person put another ahead of himself. His actions assured me of his devotion.

I love you.As I watched him, it seemed like he didn’t have to work very hard at doing these things, which amazed me. Rather, they flowed naturally from what he was feeling. Nate was committed to me and to making our marriage the best it could be. And he deserved full credit for its success.

I knew not all young wives were thus blessed, and I was deeply grateful – both to Nate and to God… the One who had brought us together.

“I have not stopped thanking God for you.” (Ephesians 1:16)

Newlywed Love (#118)

November 10, 1970

Baron grows...After spending time with Baron, we always missed him more. But this time, after returning to Champaign, we got to enjoy another doggie, which took our minds off him.

Snoopy, a Beagle, belonged to one of my students. Jill was the daughter of old friends from Moody Church, and it was a happy coincidence that she landed in my kindergarten class.

One day her mom came to school to ask a favor. Would Nate and I be willing to keep Snoopy for a while so they could go on a family trip? We jumped at the idea, and in a few days, we had a foster puppy.

Snoopy.Snoopy made himself right at home and got us out walking multiple times every day. We were learning that we didn’t have to own a dog to get a doggie-fix every now and then.

We made another canine pal after I became friends with a teacher at my school named Barbara. She and her husband Rick lived in Danville, and we began asking them over for dinner here and there. One night when they had a power outage, they came and slept over. We used the time to plot and film a primitive home movie.

InkaWhenever Barbara and Rick came, they brought their dog Inka, much to our delight. Inka knew lots of tricks, and Nate loved moving her through her repertoire. Though our landlord didn’t allow live-in dogs, we didn’t think he’d mind a visitor now and then – and we loved having both Snoopy and Inka come over.

Nate’s studying was intensifying as the end of law school approached (January), and he had multiple papers due. Dog-walking was a nice diversion, and during Snoopy’s stay, he and Nate became good buddies. I think Nate actually enjoyed having someone to talk to while I was in Danville.

As the studying intensified, Nate would sometimes have to work well into the night. We’d have an extra-long prayer time on those days, though, just before I went to bed, asking God to give him efficiency, high quality work, and energy.

Nate's note.One morning I found a note taped to the bathroom mirror.

“Baby, thank you for the prayer last evening. I am more thankful every day that there is Unity in our marriage. I persevered until 3:30. Please wake me up at 7:00. I have to do footnotes. Love forever, Nate.”

We couldn’t wait till we were finished with school and out in the real world where paychecks would replace tuition payments and grades would be no more. And once we were settled, we might even be able to own a dog.

“Patient endurance is what you need now.” (Hebrews 10:36)

Newlywed Love (#116)

November 4-6, 1970

DadWhen I called Dad to tell him I was thinking about a masters degree at Northwestern, he was pleased. As an alum, he loved the idea of me attending his alma mater.

“I’ll go over there tomorrow to pick up an application,” he said, “and will mail it to you.”

Dad had earned two degrees from Northwestern, both in engineering. He told the story of how he had graduated #2 in the class of 1922 but berated himself for not having been #1. He remembered #1’s name and mentioned how he was the guy who always got to carry the flag in the alumni parade .

A youthful DadBeing #2 was highly impressive to me, since I’d been way down in the ranks of my own class. Dad’s advice for doing well in college was interesting. “Don’t take notes in class. Just commit to listening well. Then view every exam as an opportunity to show the professor how much you’ve learned.”

But Dad and I were very different. Maybe that’s why we got along so well and why I was very attached to him. Through all the ups and down of my life, he’d always been in my corner. Success or failure, compliance or rebellion didn’t matter as much as my being his daughter – and I never once doubted his love.

When the Northwestern application arrived in Champaign, it was full of difficult questions requiring lengthy essay answers. After writing my name and address, I stalled, not sure I should even proceed.

Northwestern UniversityBut Nate urged me on, one question at a time. Then he edited my responses by eliminating half of the babble I’d used to pad my answers.

It took several days, but my application and I finished on a positive note with the question, “Have any of your family members attended North- western?” I was thankful I had three names to put down: Dad, my Uncle Edward (Dad’s brother), and my Uncle Jack (Mom’s brother).

Nate and I walked to the mailbox together to send off the application. “If I get in,” I said, “I wonder if I can even do the work. If I don’t get in, maybe that’ll be a good thing.”

He challenged me to stay positive. “I’m sure you’ll get in.”

Back at the apartment Cathy came over, toting our chilled chocolate candy – which was ready to be wrapped. We’d done our best to find appropriate boxes, though some had been used for other things.

Chocolates on the ironing boardBut when we lined them all up on my pull-down ironing board, it was a sight to behold. We sealed the boxes and divided them up between us with our goal of homemade Christmas gifts now in view. And we’d spent very little money.

As Nate and I got ready for bed that night I said, “You know what? I think making chocolates and candles is probably more up my alley than studying in grad school.”

But I shouldn’t have even said it, since I knew how he would respond. “Don’t worry,” he said. “You’re gonna love it.”

“I will show you the most excellent way.” (1 Corinthians 2:31)