Category Archives: God’s character

Sneak Peek #21

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Whenever you’re struggling with loneliness, remind yourself that your children are priceless gifts from God, and He is highly invested in your efforts as a mother. He stands ready to help meet your needs, whatever they are. All you have to do is speak to Him, tell Him what you’d like help with, and He’ll deliver it.

Once in a while He’ll even meet a need through the children who are making you feel isolated. I (Margaret) remember a time when my fourth and fifth babies were ages one and two. As I reached into the dryer to pull out clean laundry, they stuffed it back in. If I folded a shirt, they snatched it off the pile and shook it out. When I wasn’t watching, one of them would climb inside the dryer and sit on the clothes.

None of this was earth shattering, but not being able to do my work that day put me over my tipping point. Out loud, through sobs, I said, “Lord! It’s not like I’m asking to read a magazine or take a bubble bath! I’m just trying to fold laundry!”

My two-year-old sensed trouble and immediately wrapped his pudgy little arms around my leg. “Lubb-ooo,” he said in a soothing tone, looking up at me. He tried to comfort his mother the only way he knew how. It worked, and I could smile at him through my tears.

For all I knew, it was the Holy Spirit himself who spoke through little Klaus that day, because his “lubb-ooo” was so effective. God knew my need and met it well. Let God know what you want Him to do for you, and He’ll help you in some very creative ways.

SIDEBAR:

WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS IN MOMMY

  • Get up ahead of your children.
  • Ask your husband to help in one specific way.
  • Pencil in some mommy time.
  • Resist feelings of guilt for time alone.
  • Nap with your little ones.
  • Talk with another mother.
  • Hum a tune.
  • Enjoy a hearty laugh.
  • Listen to worship music.
  • Go to bed earlier.

Sneak Peek #17

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) used to volunteer for the local Meals on Wheels organization, packing and taking healthy meals to shut-ins. Though I’d wanted to do this from the time my children were little, I decided it would be too much to bring them along. Instead I waited till they were all in school. I could deliver the meals quicker that way and move on to the many other things I wanted to do.

Then one day, after collecting the packaged meals I was to deliver and shoving the overloaded bin into my car, I watched as another mom joined our crew of delivery ladies. She’d brought her two-and-four-year-olds along and was moving at their much slower pace. She handed one meal at a time to her little ones. “Carry this to Mommy’s car now. Be careful, because there’s a hungry lady waiting for us to bring it to her.”

The example of this woman patiently letting her children help with this worthwhile project impacted me, and I stopped to watch. It occurred to me I’d missed a golden opportunity to teach my children some great lessons by waiting to volunteer till they were all in school. Meals on Wheels would have been the perfect way to teach an important character trait: helping those who couldn’t help in return. And since most of the meal recipients were elderly, they would have been blessed to see the children. But I’d chosen to put efficiency above values, forfeiting that opportunity.

When you and your young children do things together, God counts this as “redeemed time.” Including the youngsters He’s given you elevates the activity to a level of His special blessing since you are joining with Him in acknowledging their importance. Children are little for only a short time, and those first five years fly by. So work to be deliberate about beating the clock, making that time count.

SIDEBAR:  A PEEK INTO YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S HEART

  • My universe revolves around me.
  • My world is often confusing.
  • I can’t trust everyone.
  • Sometimes I’m afraid.
  • A night-light is comforting.
  • My world is new and interesting.
  • I like to go along.
  • I learn fast.
  • I can’t verbalize how I feel.
  • I adore my mother.
  • I want to do what Mommy does.

Sneak Peek #15

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Comparing kids as you decide which classes, teams, or activities to register for can yield a helpful list of reasons why or why not. Second-borns, for instance, almost always follow a path different from their firstborn siblings. A wise mother understands this and doesn’t attempt to make one childhood identical to another. If she insists on uniformity, at least one of her children isn’t being accepted for who he really is.

Studying your children can be a complicated business. After noticing their different leanings, moms automatically compare them to each other. But remind yourself often that from God’s perspective, each stands alone and no talent or gift makes one child superior to another. Even what appears to be a weakness can change into a strength in His hands.

One other caution: since logic says you’ll view your children through your own innate talents, it’s important not to elevate one child over another just because his bent matches yours. Though you may relate more naturally to that youngster, be careful you don’t favor him without realizing it. Both the favored and the unfavored will eventually pick up on it, and the result will be anger and resentment–toward you and the sibling.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them” (NLT). In other words, if you treat them incorrectly, anger will be the inevitable result. The last half of the verse describes how to treat them well. “Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

As you learn all you can about how each of your children is wired, what different instructions do you think God has attached to them? Ask yourself, which activities would work best for her? What encouragement from you will validate the way she was made? What approach will partner with what God is already doing in her life? Raising children is a difficult job, and doing it one by one makes it more so. But your frustrations will be less and disappointments fewer if you follow God’s lead.

SIDEBAR: RESULTS OF COMPARING

  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Unnecessary jealousy
  • Deep emotional wounds
  • A sense of being unloved
  • Extra stress in mommy
  • Denial of natural bents
  • Aggression between children