Category Archives: God’s character

A Reason to Cry?

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LunchI’ve never cried over spilt milk, though recently I groaned a little. My 12 grandchildren had just enjoyed a lunch of leftovers and were obediently bringing their dirty dishes from the deck tables to the kitchen. That was when one of them stumbled, spilling half a glass of milk into the open silverware drawer.

And I groaned.

If he’d have tripped one short step further, the spill would have been a simple floor puddle, easily cleaned. Several of us watched the milk drizzle through the silverware, recognizing the set-back, but as with most of the messes children make, it wasn’t worth crying over.

Spilt milkThe old adage that advises us not to cry over spilt milk has a non-Christian origin from the mid-1600’s when a group of English people strongly believed in fairies. They would leave small offerings of food and drink, especially milk (the fairies’ favorite). If a little was spilled in the process, the idea was to quickly mop it up and not stress over what no one could go back and do differently.

Though we don’t believe in fairies today (except the tooth fairy, of course), the thought behind the old spilt milk axiom has a parallel in Scripture. God advises us not to worry about the past, which can’t be rearranged, but to keep pressing forward. It’s one of Satan’s most insidious lies that the Lord won’t love someone who has some “spilt milk” in their background.

Thankfully, God debunks that throughout the Bible, reassuring us of his unconditional love again and again. Our part is to believe what he says, that he’ll continue to love us, no matter what.

Doused silverwareAnd concerning the grandson whose milk flowed through the silverware? I love him just as much today as I did the day before his stumble. But, in a far grander way, we can all be thankful that God will always love us, no matter what spills are in our past.

 

“Love…. binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Nine Years Ago Today

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Today, September 22, is the 9th anniversary of the day Nate and I learned of his fatal cancer. He’d been bothered by severe back pain for 7 months and was scheduled for surgery when pre-op tests told a different story.

After that appointment at a Chicago hospital, we pointed our mini-van toward the peace and quiet of our Michigan home. As I drove, Nate used the time to call each of his 7 children to tell them personally what we’d just learned. As emotionally draining as that job was, he wanted each of them to hear it directly from him.

Normal life came to a screeching halt that day as we tried to absorb the shock. No one knew what was going to happen, but all agreed it couldn’t possibly be anything good.

*          *              *              *              *             *              *              *             *              *

Recently I came across a paper with Nate’s handwriting on it, something I don’t often see these days. It was the first page in a blank book, dated 9/22/09. He had titled it, “Journal of Willard Nyman.” *

In less than 20 words his first entry summarized the dreadful truth:

Sept. 22, 2009The Dr told me I have [metastasizing] pancreatic cancer today. Thought it was back problem all the time.

In those words I could hear his grave disappointment but also a measure of acceptance. Though Nate had hoped to write down his thoughts as he journeyed through cancer, he never had the chance. The daily pace moved too fast for that. This first entry was his last.

Because September 22 has come around 9 times now, I find myself thinking back without tears. Though I miss Nate every hour of every day, God’s healing of my heart has taken away the pain of remembering.

Now when I go back to that time, I think of the many ways God was on the move. On September 22, when we’d all agreed nothing good could possibly happen after the diagnosis, we had been wrong.

M and N, Aug. 09God pulled our attention toward him on every one of those 42 days by causing unusual things to happen in and around us. He proved how very close he was and sustained us by sprinkling blessings over each day’s harsh circumstances. And God is willing to partner like that with every person through grievous situations. He sustains us, rescues us, and is so close he can even carry us.

The Lord said, “I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4b)

* Nate’s real name: Willard Nathan Nyman (Photo taken 8/22/09)

A Thousand Words

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Getting marriedIts been 3 whirlwind weeks for the Nyman clan, and if my mom was still around, she’d have labeled it all “happy chaos.”

Louisa and Teddy’s wedding day arrived at last, after a 15-month engagement. The ceremony was joy-filled and rewarding as Pastor Nelson married them, and our entire family of 26 attended…. all except Nate, of course, who was deeply missed.

 

 

Nate...

 

But the wedding took place on his birthday (8/18/18), and he was honored during the ceremony and also at the reception – which helped.

In the 9 years since his death, life has expanded to include 14 new family members, none of whom ever met Nate. So we forge ahead, embracing these new relationships while still taking pleasure in the old.

My one wish for the time we had together (other than witnessing the wedding) was to have a family photo taken. Because our children live all over the globe, the Nyman gang hasn’t been in the same place at the same time for 4 years. So this, to me, was an opportunity not to be missed.

The wedding photographer was available the morning after, and even the bride and groom were willing to rise early on their first day as Mr. and Mrs. (They’d already postponed their honeymoon to “hang” with family.)

“And where,” said the photographer, “will this photo session be?”

Where else but the beach.

Back in May, I crafted an email to my 7 children and their spouses with my picture request…. hoping they weren’t rolling their eyes across cyberspace. But after reading of my longing, their responses were kind. Even enthusiastic.

“So,” I wrote, “we’ll get up early the morning after the wedding and meet at the beach — wearing T-shirts color-coded by family. I’ll provide the shirts and the brunch afterwards.”

Though some were skeptical about the shirt idea, they knew there was no fighting it. And as these colorful shirts began arriving in my mail, I tried to keep expectations realistic…. but prayed for good weather and 12 cooperative grandchildren.

God graciously gave me the desire of my heart, a picture with everyone present and sunshine as a backdrop. I’ll be forever grateful to Him, and to the family I love – including Nate, who took a chance on me 50 years ago, which resulted in this:

Nyman Family-8.

 

“The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” (Psalm 33:11)