Category Archives: God’s character

The Way to a Wedding

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At my house we’re putting the finishing touches on plans for a wedding that will take place this August, when Louisa marries Teddy – our third family wedding in 12 months.

Nelson and Ann Sophie, wedding dayNelson married Ann Sophie last August in Hawaii (right), and Birgitta married Spencer last November in Iowa (below), which adds up to three.

If I count my brother’s son Charlie and his bride Larissa (married in May), my nephew Karl and his Cecilia (also in May), and Tom’s son Ben with his Amy (this July), the family wedding count rises to six – one every other month.

 

Iowa Bettis family.Weddings can be expensive, and it’s a pleasure to watch these “kids” make economical wedding decisions. But there’s one family wedding that takes the cake in the budgeting department.

Our daughter Linnea met Adam (below) when both were serving in Youth With A Mission. Love blossomed, and he presented her with a ring on a snowy winter afternoon in Montana, in 2003.

 

 

Linnea aand AdamBoth were students there at an intensive YWAM Bible school when Linnea called us to share their big news. We were thrilled, already loving Adam, but we wondered how in the world we’d ever pay for a wedding.

Our family was in the midst of a rapid financial downturn due to some governmental tax law changes that destroyed Nate’s once-thriving business. By then we were struggling to pay our own bills, much less those of a wedding.

On the phone that night when Linnea asked how much we had in our “wedding account,” Nate looked at me and held up his finger and thumb in the sign of a zero.

We told Linnea the truth, that there was no wedding account, and when the conversation ended, both she and I were in tears. I pictured Adam standing with his arm around her, whispering comfort into her misery… and I felt awful.

Our daughter was suffering, too, and we longed to do something about it. She closed that conversation with, “Can we talk about this again tomorrow?”

Wedding aisleAs soon as we hung up, we began asking God to rescue us. Almost right away he reminded us of a song that says, “God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.” In this case, there really was no way. Though we wanted to believe he could and maybe even would make a way, we sure couldn’t imagine how. But if Linnea was going to have a wedding, it would have to be his doing.

“The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.” (Psalm 32:10)

(…to be continued)

Soul Food

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Hannah and ErikaMy parents, if they had lived past 100, would now be enjoying 26 great-grandchildren. The oldest in this group, Hannah and Erika, are twins born to my niece Julia and her husband Drew. This week, Hannah (left) and Erika (right) have forfeited a fun family vacation in Florida to go on a mission trip to Guatemala.

These two girls have already had some mission trip experience – when they were only five years old. As they left home to travel with their parents to Ecuador, I remember their great-grandma (my Mom) wondering aloud, “Will ‘my’ twins be safe from harm?”

Model girlsGod’s mind, however, was on a different kind of safety, that of the soul. His plan was to expose these little girls to new experiences that would establish compassion and caring in their young hearts.

While Hannah, Erika, and their parents were in Ecuador, mission team members were told of families who were so poor they had to pick through the garbage at the village dump in search of food. Even the Ecuadorian children were sometimes enlisted in this effort.

Though each American on the trip was deeply moved by such poverty, the twins internalized the information in a different way. One evening shortly after returning home, the family was sitting down to dinner. Erika looked at the abundance of delicious, healthy food in front of her and made an important decision. Getting out of her chair, she picked up her plate and carried it toward the kitchen sink.

Kitchen garbageJulia and Drew watched her, wondering what she was up to. Then, without hesitating or glancing back at her parents, she overturned her untouched plate of food into the garbage.

“Erika!” her mother said. “What are you doing?”

She was ready with a logical answer. “I’m sending my dinner to the kids in Ecuador. They’re hungry, and they’re looking for food in the garbage.”

Surely God was smiling on  this young soul.

Today, 11 years later, Hannah and Erika are once again on a mission trip. The fundraising letters they wrote made it clear that the impact of the first trip was still with them.

PalsTo quote Erika, “A few years back, my family went to Ecuador on a mission trip. This opened my eyes. On this trip I hope that I will grow closer to God. And I hope to be able to share God and who He is in me, with the people.”

And from Hannah. “I have been blessed with an amazing opportunity to witness to the wonderful children of Guatemala. Not everyone can go on a mission trip.”

God is a pro at managing the who, what, when, where, and how of our lives. Much of the time we have no idea what he’s doing in someone else’s soul, but once in a while he gives us a glimpse – and reminds us (quoting from a 16-year-old’s fundraising letter)…

“With God, nothing shall be impossible.” (Luke 1:37)

Missing a Sister

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TwinsiesMy sister Mary and I were unified in heart and mind from the very beginning. She wasn’t that far ahead of me in age, only a tottering toddler when I came along. Mom referred to those days as “playing house with my two little girls,” and we were blessed to be dearly loved.

From the beginning, Mom promoted a partnership between Mary and I, reinforcing it by dressing us in matching outfits. We had identical pinafores, coats, shoes, and dresses. But whether or not it was Mom’s doing, our sister-bond began early and lasted 71 years.

IMG_4252This week, a year and 5 months after Mary died, I’m feeling extra sad without her. I’ve been trying to put fresh fabric covers on my 8 dining room chairs, doing battle with a hard-to-squeeze staple gun and its frequent malfunctions. The deeper struggle, however, has been missing my sister.

The last time these chairs were covered was 7 years ago, and the two of us did them together. As always, it was fun and efficient to work as a team.

Our day of wrestling with upholstery fabric was punctuated with laughter over mistakes, lots of re-do’s, and a few staple-wounds. But there was serious talk too, as we lunched over Campbell’s tomato soup.

M and M upholsteringBy the end of that one day, we’d finished all 8 chairs. But the greater reward had been in getting to spend so many uninterrupted hours together. Doing the same job now hasn’t been satisfying at all, because of my strong longing to do it with Mary.

And that’s the most frustrating part of losing someone we love. The separation is complete and irrevocable. Though we know in our heads we can’t have even one extra minute with that person, we slip easily into fantasizing about how lovely it would be if we could. But reality always yanks us back and hits us with the words, “You can’t.”

I’ve had to work extra hard these last few days to listen to God’s advice about all this. And what he’s been whispering to me is, “I am your hope.”

He needed to tell me multiple times: “I will fill you with all kinds of joy as you look at Me. You’ll find yourself actually overflowing with hope, because of My Spirit’s power within you.” (Romans 15:13, loosely) After hearing it enough, I finally had to agree with him.

FriendsAs I’ve been hammering staples that refused to go all the way in, I’ve been thinking more than ever about life after death and the hope I have of spending not just one extra minute with Mary (and others) but of sharing unending time.

And I’ve learned that the hope God offers really does push out sadness. It also gives birth to gratitude – for a sister and for the Lord.

“The eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love.” (Psalm 33:18)