Category Archives: God’s character

Young Love (#93)

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RoomiesA special note:

Tomorrow I’ll be boarding a plane to Europe to spend time with my college roommate Julie, who lives in Germany.

 

Six kidsFrom there I’ll head over to England to meet my 12th grandchild, two-week-old Jonathan. I’m eager to catch up with his parents, too – Hans and Katy – and their five other children – Nicholas (8), Evelyn (6), Thomas (6), Andrew (3), and Elizabeth (1).

While I’m gone, I won’t be able to blog, but I’ll resume “Young Love” on March 1st.

See you then!

 

But first the conclusion to yesterday’s post:

September 20-21, 1969

As Mom and I drove the 12 miles from Wilmette to Arlington Heights, I ran through a mental list of all her “girlfriends,” trying to remember the names of everyone who would be at my surprise bridal shower. More than likely it would be her “club” of about a dozen women, and I knew them all.

When I walked in the front door, though, it turned out I didn’t really have to fake being surprised. The room was jammed with women, over 40 of them, three generations of happy faces all yelling, “SURPRISE!” And I was stunned! They had pulled it off after all.

At the showerWe spent the afternoon chatting, playing pencil-paper games with a wedding theme, eating delicious fancy foods, and opening mountains of beautiful gifts. I was speechless and couldn’t wait to report every detail to Nate.

His mother was there (below, center) having driven a long way, and also her two sisters, Nate’s aunts, who I was eager to get to know.

Shower with NateAnd better than everything else was the big surprise I got half way through the afternoon…. when in walked Nate! He had driven the three hours and braved a mob of women, most of whom he didn’t know, simply because he missed me. I was thrilled! And best of all, everybody got to meet my groom ahead of the wedding. It was a perfect afternoon.

After loading up all the “loot” (as Mom called it) and heading back to Wilmette, there was no time to go car-shopping with Dad, but that was alright. Mom volunteered her VW van so we could put the Corvette out of service and work on selling it. And we would plan to return on another weekend to hunt for a car.

When we got back to Champaign, there was a letter waiting from Aunt Joyce. Her words put our weekend of receiving lots of “loot” into the proper perspective. Isn’t it wonderful to be in love and belong to the Lord Jesus Christ? What more could one (“or two”) desire?

From Aunt Joyce

“Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” (Ephesians 5:2)

Young Love (#92)

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September 20, 1969

 

When the weekend came, I hoped to return to Champaign behind the wheel of a new-used car. Dad’s opinion would have to factor in heavily, since he would be fronting half the money, so I figured we would be leaning into the practical. Nate and I had probably seen our last sports car, but it had been a fun run.

I also knew Mom’s friends planned to surprise me with a bridal shower over the weekend, which seemed almost too good to be true. Presents!

More velvetAs for Nate, he’d be spending the weekend in Champaign bent over his books. I knew he needed to study, but it was really hard to say goodbye.

At my parents’ house, Lynn (one of my bridesmaids and my oldest friend) came over. We dug into the bridesmaids’ velvet again, cutting out the pieces for the 3 gowns she had graciously agreed to make. And of course our work turned into hilarious fun, too.

After that, Mom and I sat down with her red notebook of “wedding stuff” and ripped through a long list of decisions she’d already researched. We started with a lovely task, choosing the cake.

CakeThe bakery said there was a new trend in wedding cakes, frosting them in white as usual but spraying bits of color on them to match the wedding colors. We chose a burgundy spray to go on grapes made of white frosting, encircling each layer. It would be white cake with a chocolate topper to be saved for our first anniversary.

Next, we talked about wedding favors. Mom had already decided on wrapped pieces of groom’s cake packaged in small white boxes with our names on them. She said her women-friends would handle those – folding the boxes, cutting fruit cake, wrapping the pieces, and filling the boxes.

Then we chose the flowers, burgundy-tinted rubrum lilies and wine-red roses for the bridesmaids’ to carry, with a “waterfall” of white stephanotis for me. Mom suggested big white sprays of mums, roses, and gladiolas across the front of the church and centerpieces of pink, red, and white carnations on the reception tables.

Flowers

My head began to spin, but she continued.

For the head table it would be lilies and roses, and then there was a long list of corsages of many varieties, and of course boutonnieres. She had sketched a picture of glowing candles and giant bows to decorate the aisles (two of them at Moody Church) with wide ribbon-garlands between.

She lost me at about the word “centerpieces” as giant dollar signs throbbed in my head. Poor Dad.

MusicMom already had a handle on the music. Having played for countless ceremonies, she was a pro. I wanted a traditional wedding, so she suggested Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” (Here Comes the Bride) for the processional, and Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” for the recessional. Just the words “Wedding March” made her jump to the piano bench and play a grand version of it for me – causing joyful goose bumps!

I had been thinking about music, too, and was hoping for two things: a stringed quartet to play as people were being seated, and a song that would be sung by a very special choir of seven: the bridesmaids. I knew they could all carry a tune and hoped they would agree to do it. It would be a song of thanks to God representing the feelings Nate and I would be having at that moment. Mom liked the idea and suggested the hymn, “Thanks Be to God.”

Thanks be to God for love divine, the hopes that round my heart entwine; for all the joy that now is mine, Thanks be to God!

We were ripping through one item after another when Mom abruptly closed her notebook and said, “How about riding along with me on an errand to Arlington Heights?” I knew it must be time for the bridal shower and hoped I could act surprised.

“The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” (Psalm 84:11)

Young Love (#89)

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September 8-14, 1969
Over the weekend, Nate and I began hunting for a Bible-believing church to become a part of while living in Champaign. He’d been attending worship services on campus during the previous year, but this time we wanted a family-oriented atmosphere that wasn’t all college students.

The first Sunday we attended a Baptist church near our apartment and immediately felt at home. When the senior pastor made an effort to personally welcome us, we were hooked.

The best thing about church, though, wasn’t the pastor or the music but the challenging discussions that happened in our young couples Sunday school class. And of course the subject of sex came up frequently.

Free loveIt was 1969, the year of Woodstock, and “free love” was all around us — even in the university friendships Nate and I were beginning to make. The maxim of the day was, “Make love not war.” But in our couples class, we were learning how to do life God’s way…. which was the opposite of what the culture was telling us. He wanted couples to save sex for marriage and had some good reasons for it.

 

The trouble was, Nate and I were both at the apartment every day, every evening, and often well into the night with endless hours of study. We ate our meals there and relished the together-time after our long-distance history.

Besides, his dorm-style room near campus was sterile and lonely. It seemed silly for him to “go home” in the wee hours of the morning, then return for breakfast. But as hard as we tried to line up what we wanted with what God wanted, we couldn’t do it. It would have to be one or the other – our way or his. And we wanted to deliberately make a decision rather than let it happen by default. We knew if we surrendered Nate’s room and decided to live together, the decision would make itself.

Occasionally we prayed about all this, asking God what we should do. Of course that was ridiculous, because he’d already told us. But he also knew we were trying to step in his direction. So just when our resolve was weakening, he sent us some practical help – a letter from my aunt/mentor in California. She was responding to a letter I’d written her, full of wedding details.

“Dear Margee and Nate. Thanks for the exciting, informative letter. I’ve read and re-read it. I’m trying to place you each day to pray God’s hand of guidance and love over you both. What a rapturous time for you, all joys multiplied because of your oneness in Him! Keep Him in control, and all will be well.”

But that wasn’t all. She wrote, “I should write and remind your Mom…” and I wondered what she meant. But then she explained.

Youthful Aunt Joyce.Back when she was engaged (left), her fiancée (eventually my uncle) bought a home for them well ahead of their marriage. Aunt Joyce lived there by herself for many weeks before the wedding, while Uncle Edward lived nearby. They had battled temptation, too, but had remained faithful to God’s desire that they wait.

Apparently Mom had been stressing to Aunt Joyce about the temptations going on in our Champaign apartment, although she and we had never discussed it.

As always, Aunt Joyce was the voice of reason, calming Mom and calming us, too, with the story of her own experience. Then her letter said, “When we look forward to God’s best for us, we will not be so tempted to take ‘second best’ by not waiting for His time of consummation and approval.”

And then she wrote, “Do you know I love you?”

Question

And because she was willing to risk offending us to deliver a difficult message, we knew she did…. and that God did, too.

“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him.” (Ephesians 4:15)