Category Archives: God’s character

God’s Sneak-Peeks

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Those of us who follow Christ believe him when he says he’s always with us. He also says he’ll never abandon us or fail us and that he surrounds us with his presence. We believe all of it.

The problem comes in trusting this One we can’t see or feel. In our recent days of missing Mary, people have lovingly said, “Hold tight to Jesus’ hand.” Or, “I’m praying you’ll feel God’s everlasting arms around you.”

Both of these word pictures are sanctioned in Scripture, and we want to trust them as real, but there’s no visible proof – and sometimes it’s hard.

hand-of-god

(Michelangelo tried to visualize the invisible, above.)

God knows of our human limitations and the difficulty of relating to an unseen God. After all, Jesus was human, too, and experienced these same limits. Even during his torturous hours on the cross, his cries were to his invisible Father. So how do we bridge this gap? How do we believe he is truly with us?

The answer? It’s by way of the sneak-peeks he gives.

I believe God sometimes demonstrates that he’s close to us in real-time…. in touchable, visible ways. Our part is to notice and ponder what he shows us, deciding for ourselves whether or not to attribute these things to him.

During Mary’s sudden, short decline, he gave us several of these powerful sneak-peeks that we believe indicated his closeness. For example – Julia had given her mom a gardenia plant for Mother’s Day in May.

flower-potMary had put it in a stone-covered pot, writing a Scripture verse around the rim: “Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the Rock eternal.” (Isaiah 26:4)

Through the summer it had bloomed beautifully under Mary’s watchful care. But then her illness escalated, and tending to the gardenia fell by the wayside.

When Julia arrived to care for her mom, she saw that her gardenia-gift was needy. Taking a moment to pluck off the many dead blossoms, she noticed it didn’t have even one promising bud. But then Mary’s illness drew her attention away.

And then Mary went to heaven.

In the painful first hour that followed her death, after Hospice and funeral home personnel had come and gone, none of us knew what to do. Then, as we stood around in the kitchen without a plan, someone said, “Hey! Look at that plant!”

the-gardeniaWe were dumbfounded to see a fully opened, perfectly formed gardenia blossom on Mary’s now-healthy plant.

Some would call that a coincidence or a freak of nature. We’d rather give the credit to our unseen God who uplifted us in a low moment with the assurance that he was close by. And against all logic, we had a sweet-smelling gardenia blossom to prove it.

“Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

Now what?

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When someone precious dies, grieving first presents itself as a feeling of emptiness. It says, “Now what?”

loveAll of us knew what to do when Mary was sick. Several kept her medicine straight, administered it, and made sure she was comfortable. Others kept the kitchen clean. Someone else did laundry. Another cooked. Several cleaned bathrooms, swept floors, ran errands. We all took turns sitting with Mary, sometimes in small groups, sometimes one-on-one.

And suddenly she was gone. Even in those first moments after she’d slipped away, while still gathered around her bed weeping, none of us knew what to do next. “Should we stay here? Move out of the room? Where would we go? What would we do ?”

The simplest decision was muddled, and there were question marks on each face. It was as if our previous instructions, the many tasks related to Mary, had been put through a shredder and then tossed in the air. When we asked “Now what?” no one could answer – at least not then.

Within hours, though, the question had been answered…. because there was a funeral to plan.

That process was much like arranging a wedding in three days:

  • The announcement/obituary – where to publish it? when?
  • The printed program – which photos to use? what order of service? what kind of paper? where to get it printed?
  • The funeral home – which one? what size room? how many will come? or should we use a church?
  • The casket – who will choose it? what about an outfit for Mary? who do we give it to?
  • The pictures – poster board photos? with which pictures? Where are they? what about a slide show? who would run it?
  • The guests – who will do airport runs? where will out-of-towners stay? what about a guest book?
  • The service – which pastor, musicians, soloists, songs? who will accompany? what about microphones? rehearsals? a podium? will it be recorded? video taped? by whom?
  • The flowers – ordered from where? what type? how many?
  • The food – a snack or a meal? where? who will provide it? how much?
  • The family – does everyone have suitable funeral clothes? if not, who will shop? where? when?
  • The cemetery – which one? which plot? should there be maps at the funeral? who will print them? who will pass them out?
  • Where will the flowers go after the service? who will transport them?

At Mary’s bedside we had asked, “Now what?” God had answered with a list of new questions, and we had no choice but to get to work. Could this must-plan phase be his gift to mourners who long for an answer to the “now what” question?

Since all the tasks at hand still had a connection to Mary, each one was important. We all felt useful. And it was a relief to know what to do.

Now those 50 questions have been answered. All of us are slowly returning to our regular lives and the tasks that remained undone when we were busy with Mary and her funeral. The need to catch up on things will keep that perplexing “now what” question at arm’s length for a while. But eventually it’ll be back. When it hits again, I believe each family member will receive a specific answer from the Lord that’s pertinent to them.

And when the “now-what’s” have all been answered, the only remaining question will be, “How will we fill the big empty space that Mary left?”

I’m counting on the Lord to supply an answer for that one, too.

“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach…. No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart….”  (Deuteronomy 30:11,14)

Mary’s Light

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The days before someone moves from earth to heaven are sacred ones, and Mary is in the middle of this remarkable time. Because she is, her family is there, too. God’s close presence is evident in her calm, quiet demeanor, and the rest of us are taking our cues from her. Coming close to the most spectacular life-event she will ever experience has not unnerved her at all. That’s because she’s completely ready.

Although Mary has become quiet and spends most of her time sleeping, she still has a will to greet her loved ones with a gentle smile when they enter the room, giving each a few loving words as they do. She’s in no pain and needs meds only to hold off nausea and get solid sleep at night. But even as her body loses its battle with disease, her face grows more beautiful by the day.

Mary’s grown children, nieces, and nephews have been a steady presence, making meals, doing laundry, and encouraging one another. But her 11 grandchildren have been kept at bay. That’s because most are very young, and little people bring noise, commotion, and a general hubbub.

peterson-grands

But that hasn’t stopped these grands from sending a stream of words and drawings to encourage their grandma, the older ones describing in words what she means to them. As this person whom they adore so much becomes quieter, their messages of love become louder. And more descriptive:

  • You are my hero.
  • I love how you love candy and gum.
  • I love all the things you do and the person you are.
  • You have an amazing, godly heart that leads people to God.
  • You have all the right in the world to freak out, but you are calm and faithful.
  • In my mind you are super-grandma.
  • You make me think anything is possible. You make me want to run a 10,000 mile run, and I hate running!
  • Even though your troubles are big, you still are positive and love others and God.
  • Your heart is filled with joy, and you spread that joy to me.
  • You love when you are at your darkest days.
  • I love how you love the game of baseball.
  • You are very generous.
  • I will always and forever love you, even if you’re not here.
  • You’ve made me a strong Christian.
  • You mean so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo much to me.
  • You’ve been a light in the world, showing all the traits of a godly woman.
  • God has used you in so many ways in his plan.
  • You like to give gum to people from your car of wonders.
  • I will never, ever stop loving you.

And one more, my personal favorite:

  • Grandma, you are like a flashlight in a world full of darkness.

This grandmother has done a good job “shining for the Lord” in front of her grands, and they’ve all seen this light in her. A while back she told me that her greatest concern in leaving them is not being able to continue coaxing them toward Jesus.

One of her older grandchildren wrote out Isaiah 14:27 for her, which says nothing can stop God’s plan for a person’s life. And apparently his plan is that Mary’s life, including her godly glow as a grandma, will soon end. Yet her influence will shine for decades to come.

When Mary was asked if she had any prayer requests, her whispered answer was consistent with the rest of her life: “Pray that I’ll finish strong and give all the glory to God,” a couple of brightly shining requests.

“Prove yourself to be blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated…. in a generation among whom you are seen as a bright [flash] light in a world of darkness.” (Philippians 2:15, loosely translated from the Amplified version)