I stand amazed.

IMG_3834Emerald still has a fascination with bubbles. Every day she asks if we can blow them, and each time it’s as if she’s never seen them before. She “stands amazed,” which for her means an open mouth and a wildly-waving right hand. As bubbles swirl around her, joy bubbles out of her.

Once in a while, though, a stray bubble pops in the wrong place – not on her nose or forehead (which she loves) but in her eye. She crumples to the ground in tears, rubbing her face and hollering at high decibel. “The bubble hurt Emerald! The bubble hurt Emerald!”

IMG_3850Might there be a spiritual parallel to this soap-in-the-eye dilemma? We all say we love the Lord. We trust he’s telling the truth when he says he’s always working for our good.

So we pray and ask for things he’s encouraged us to ask for – protection from evil, strength to endure temptation, life-guidance through prayer. We have confidence in his amazing power and expect him to act on our behalf. Then suddenly a situation arises that makes us raise our eyebrows at him. We might be left unprotected and become injured; maybe we fail at resisting temptation and give in; or he might seem silent when we desperately need his help making a decision.

And suddenly our bubble of amazement pops – bringing a hurtful sting. Our faith crumples, and we cry, “Lord, you hurt me! You hurt me!” Who would stand in awe of that?

There’s a wonderful old hymn that includes these lyrics: “I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean.”

It continues: “How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful, is my Savior’s love for me!”

It’s easy to smile as we sing those words, nodding affirmation and feeling his love. But when life goes awry or gets really hard, our raised eyebrows quickly form a frown, and we feel like wagging a finger at God. Instead of amazement, we want to lay blame.

The truth is, we don’t understand why the Lord does what he does any more than Emerald understands why soapy water creates her beloved bubbles.

Bubble-ologyAnd maybe that’s exactly what’s at the heart of her amazement. Because she doesn’t understand it, she’s in awe of it. And though a bubble in the eye is a set-back, her fascination doesn’t diminish, and the expectancy of joy quickly returns.

Even as the sting lingers, she jumps to her feet. “More bubbles? More?” Her mouth drops open, her right hand starts waving, and once again she stands amazed.

Can we say the same about God?

They were completely amazed and said again and again, “Everything [Jesus] does is wonderful.” (Mark 7:37)

Royal Purple

The other day I was making a PBJ (peanut butter & jelly) sandwich for Emerald while she watched. As I spread the grape jelly she said, “MeeMee, the J is so glamorous. It’s purple!”

Princess Snow WhiteI’d never thought of jelly as glamorous, but I understood. Unlike the drab-beige of the PB, the J really had it – rich color and sparkling shine.

Emerald loves glamour. Princess dresses, sparkling crowns, glittering fingernails. But maybe she’s not the only one.

In thinking about what attracts our attention, it’s often the most glamorous things that grab us – the brightly colored, the shiny, the sparkling. It’s the fanciest cars. The flashiest vacations. The showiest homes. The biggest jewels. The designer clothes.

This might even be true when it comes to people. Are we enamored with glamour? Do we name-drop in our conversations? “I spotted that celebrity at a supermarket once and actually talked to her.” Or, “I got that famous person’s signature in my copy of his book.”

We might spend time reading about the rich and famous, secretly wishing we could be like them. Or maybe we complain that we don’t have all the “stuff” we need or enough money to buy it. So how do we keep ourselves in check?

One way is to view these things as God does – especially when it comes to sizing-up people. He definitely sees individuals differently than we see each other. His Word says, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35)

This is a quote directly from Jesus, and when he said it, he was trying to teach his disciples the difference between the world’s version of greatness and his. They didn’t understand it at the time, but that didn’t bother Jesus. He stuck with his statement.

Bottom line? The most “glamorous” on earth might not be as sparkly in heaven.

IMG_1060That’s even true of sandwiches. After all, the drab-looking PB actually wins in a contest of nutrition, but the oh-so-glamorous J?

Last place.

“Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” (Matthew 19:30)

That Loving Touch

Having been here in Florida all week, I’ve been having a great time getting acquainted with grandchild #11 – Baby Nelson Aaron. So far, at twelve days old, he’s proven to be a mellow little fellow. Coming fifth in his family line-up, he’s going to be raised in a pack of lively siblings and will one day know how to hold his own. But for now, like all newborns, he’s completely helpless.

Touches from IsaacOne of the things he can’t regulate is the flood of love pouring over him from the other children. Each of the baby’s siblings relates to their new little brother in different ways. But one thing they all have in common is wanting to touch him — kisses on the head, pats on the tummy, strokes on the hair, pokes, and taps.

Though Baby Nelson generally bears up well, he does have a limit. “Enough already,” he says, by way of a pinched face. “No more.” It’s then that Linnea puts a halt to any further “loving” touches on easy-going Nellie.

Touches from SkylarThe baby’s objection to those generous touches reminds me of how I sometimes respond to God’s touch. Though he loves me with unfailing love – always and ever – sometimes I object to how it feels.

For example, he might touch me with a sadness of heart for a friend in crisis, coaxing me to get involved. That, in turn, might lead to a broken heart as I get deeper into her situation.

He might withhold a good opportunity I desperately want, even need, because the right timing hasn’t yet come.

He might allow a trial that feels like too much to handle, because he knows I’ll move closer to him as a result, maybe even be a good example of how to endure.

GetAttachment[1]All of these things are motivated solely by his love, coming by way of specifically chosen circumstances, which translates to divine touches. We might say, “How about feeling a divine touch with a few unexpected checks in the mail or euphoria in every relationship?” And sometimes those things do happen. But we usually scrunch up when his touches feel too rough or too abrupt.

C. S. Lewis wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”

But that’s the undercard of God’s true love. He doesn’t want us to doubt that he loves us dearly, but he wants us to also acknowledge that painful experiences can be initiated by his love, too. If we, like Baby Nelson, scrunch up our faces and tell God “enough already,” he’ll continue loving us – always and ever – but might withdraw the perfect chance for us to love him back.

The Touchers

But if we love the Lord, we’ll accept his touches for better or for worse. And in the end, we’ll find out that it all lined up under unfailing love.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. (Lamentations 3:32)