It wasn’t easy.

Some men go through life without having children, and some have only boys. In both cases, they’ve been spared one of life’s more difficult moments. They’ll never have to “give away” a daughter on her wedding day.

Nate and LinneaLittle girls idolize their daddies. That’s the way it should be, since Daddy is their first reference for what God is like. In a best-case scenario, fathers evidence God-like characteristics toward their daughters: patience, kindness, love, goodness. If a daughter grows up in a relationship with this kind of daddy, it’s easy for her to later relate to God as her loving heavenly Father.

Most fathers are fiercely protective of their daughters. Heaven help the person who intentionally harms them! This is what’s behind a father’s mistrust of adolescent boys who come calling during the dating years. Fathers see themselves as earth’s best security force for their little girls, no matter how big they get.

Margaret and her DadThen comes the greatest of all fatherly challenges, a daughter’s wedding day. Even if a man approves of his potential son-in-law, that walk down a church aisle to place his daughter’s hand in that of a young man can weaken even the strongest knees.

I remember my own wedding-walk down the long aisle of Moody Church. Clutching my dad’s arm gave me a sense of security, and I knew if I got wobbly, he’d stabilize me. But what was he thinking? I never asked.

Linnea and Nate

I did ask Nate, though, about his similar experience. He walked our Linnea down the aisle wearing an expression that said, “This is hard!” When we talked about it later, he said, “It was much harder than I thought it would be.”

And that’s the way it is for fathers who love their daughters.

But even in cases of poor fathering, no one needs to be without a perfect Father. God invites us to be his children, an offer that didn’t come without a “giving away.” Unlike earthly fathers who give away their daughters on a happy wedding day, God gave away his Son to an awful fate, a wrenching death he didn’t deserve. There is no greater sacrifice. Surely that day was excruciating for the Father, and yet he followed through.

Today we are able to reap the benefits of being children of that perfect Father. He is devoted beyond human capability and will never make the wrong call on our behalf. And if we wobble, he will stabilize us.

Although I was eager to have Dad give me away on my wedding day, I don’t ever want God to give me away. And happily, he has promised he never will.

“To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

An Update from Jack

My last blog post was over 7 months ago, and tonight Midge asked if I felt like writing. Since I’ve been hoping for a chance to tell you about some significant changes in my life, I said yes.

Tired JackThe changes I’m talking about aren’t physical, though at 87 years old, I’m definitely slowing down. My problem is that I’m changing on the inside, especially in my head. Midge tells me I’m acting different these days, and that makes sense, since I feel different.

 

Sometimes I have such an overwhelming need to get near her that when she’s doing dishes, I’ll wedge myself between her knees and the kitchen cabinets. Or I’ll plant myself right on top of her feet. Often I’ll lie down so close that when she turns around, she trips over me.

At other times I’ll find myself wandering down to the basement, even when the lights are off, and when I get there, I’ll stand in one place wondering what I’m doing there. Back upstairs I might start licking the carpet and be unable to stop myself without help, even after 15 minutes.

Occasionally I’ll drink all the water in my big drinking bowl without stopping, licking the bottom when I’m done. And when we go on walks, I sometimes forget to do what I’m supposed to do while we’re out.

Over the weekend, Midge and my cousin-girl Marta took me to the vet for a once-over. All 3 of us learned the reason behind these changes. Though it’s true I have multiple benign tumors in my abdomen, some as big as baseballs, they aren’t my problem. The real trouble is that my “thinker” is wearing out. It turns out I have (gulp) doggie-dementia.

The vet performed some tests on me, and said that physically I was doing ok. Nothing needed to be done. I was glad to hear that, and I know Midge was, too. The doctor simply said, “If Jack needs you to be his security blanket right now, that’s ok, isn’t it?” It was comforting to see Midge nod yes.

When we arrived home, Midge and I had a serious talk. She told me that no matter what happens, she’ll always love me, and that we’ll work together to make my remaining time the best it can be. She said if I have to start taking medicine, she’ll wrap each pill in my favorite cheese. And as long as I can get up from a lying position (quite difficult these days), she’ll continue taking me on walks.

???????????????????????????????Midge told me that she and anyone else who loves God can trust him to care for them, no matter how old and needy they get. So since she’s not worried about her own future, I’m not gonna worry about mine. The same God who created her created me, so I know he’ll make old age work out for both of us.

“Throughout your lifetime…. I made you, and I will care for you.  (Isaiah 46:4)

 Praising and Praying with Mary

No news is good news, and both little Anders and I continue to do well. Thank you for your faithfulness in prayer! I will be sure to update you in this space, as soon as anything new happens. You are much appreciated!

Getting to Know You

Dad's writingToday while cleaning out an old file cabinet I came across a piece of aged cardboard with a bit of my dad’s familiar script on it. It was a list of two items, both crossed off as if completed. Seeing his hand- writing sent a ripple of warmth through me, because as I saw his words, I saw him.

We can tell all kinds of things from a person’s writing. Actually, there are analysts who call themselves graphologists who say they can give details about whether or not someone was under the influence of drugs or alcohol when he/she did the writing, what their mental state was at the time, and what their personality characteristics are. Some dispute this, but even detectives confess to using graphologists in their efforts to solve crimes.

But those things aren’t what I saw in my dad’s writing. Instead I saw these:

  • DadDad was a serious person.
  • He embraced responsibility.
  • He thought in legal terms.
  • He wrote legibly.
  • He didn’t waste words.
  • He didn’t waste paper, choosing the back of a tablet for his list.

Also, since it looks like he penned a slow line under each item, I wondered if he might have been on the phone at the time, doodling a bit. Was he using his list as a prompt during the conversation?

I think about the words God has written for us to read, though we’ve never seen his actual handwriting. People have called the Bible a love letter, the word of truth, the law, the Good Book, The Holy Writ, the Scriptures, and The Word of God. We can tell an awful lot about the Main Character of the book by reading the inspired words we find there.

This is especially important because God is currently invisible, which makes “seeing” him in the pages of Scripture extremely valuable. Jesus even told us that’s how we should get to know him, by reading and studying the Bible.

One of my desires for 2015 is to get to know Jesus better. That was my goal for 2014, too, and though it did happen to a certain extent, there’s always more to discover. Actually, I don’t think we will ever, even through eternity, learn all there is to know about the Lord. Because of that, getting to know him better is probably a good goal for every year.

I’m looking forward to someday seeing the face of Jesus and also to hearing his voice. And maybe I’ll even get to study a writing sample. The only problem is, it’ll probably be in Aramaic.

”The Son radiates God’s own glory and expresses the very character of God.” (Hebrews 1:3)