Leaving a Legacy

Today found us doing what we always do on Memorial Day: driving to Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery to visit the family graves. This year we only had 13 family members due to holiday work schedules and faraway family locales, but the day was important anyway.

Laughter at the cemeteryMary initiated a discussion of shared memories, one for each name on the tombstones beginning with the baby for whom the plot was initially purchased. He died in 1911 at only 20 months. Our sharing about little William was minimal since none of us had known him, but most of the others brought forth many memories.

Memorial Days of the past have often been somber or even difficult, but this one was punctuated with laughter. Funny stories abounded, and I can’t remember a more humorous celebration of those who had gone before. As always I loved hearing stories about Nate, and many shared.

Toward the end of our time together, Mary and Bervin’s son Karl voiced something we’d all been thinking. “Mom,” he said, “you didn’t think you’d be here today, did you?”

At the cemeteryMary had to admit he was right, but there she was, feeling well and looking good. It was cause for further rejoicing.

Later Mary and I had a long conversation about the day. “Was it difficult,” I said, “to be at the cemetery, now that cancer has entered your life? What were you thinking?”

“….that I’ve gotten good at taking one day at a time,” was her quick answer. “It’s the only way to handle this.”

She talked further, remarking how today’s cemetery trip prompted her to consider the spiritual legacy she’ll leave behind when she’s gone. “I don’t feel I’ve done enough,” she said. But before I could refute that, she continued. “I guess little becomes much when you put it in God’s hands.”

“You know,” she said, “only God knows how much longer I’ll live. When I think about Memorial Day a year from now, it seems very far away. But life is made for the living, and I’m going to do my best to live well on each of the days God gives me.”

She talked about the beauty of the cemetery and the dramatic greens of spring, how she hadn’t noticed the intensity of nature’s colors until cancer came.

“God has blessed me every day,” she said, “and has given me far more good days than bad ones. I intend to count my blessings and be grateful for each one.”

Folks with cancer have two choices: they can get mad or get glad. Mary has chosen to appreciate life more than ever, now that death has threatened. And that’s a mighty good legacy to leave.

Legacies“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a great weekend with kids, grandkids, and beautiful weather
  2. Praise for a godly heritage
  3. Pray against nausea after tomorrow’s chemo infusion

Lighting Up

Last night as Jack and I took our final walk of the day, the skies were lighting up like I’d never seen before. Chaotic lightning illuminated only the tops of a wild-looking cloud cover that spread from west to east, bursting bright as much as remaining dark. Jack and I stood in one spot for quite a while, mesmerized by the dramatic display.

Lightning in cloudsLightning fascinates us because of its power, and most of us were raised to respect it. Dad told us never to run under a tall tree for shelter since “lightning searches for a way to get to the ground and will strike the highest point in its path.” We all took him seriously when he said, “Run home instead.”

As Jack and I walked along looking up, my mind wandered to biblical passages about lightning, and once at home I looked them up. It was fascinating to read about God “owning” lightning. He “scatters it” and “unleashes it” at will. Job 36:32 says, “The Lord fills his hands with lightning and commands it to strike its mark.”

I learned that God has control of lightning in a place from which he dispenses it and “makes the lightning flash.” I loved Job 38:35 that says all lightning bolts “report to him.”

Phone callAlthough most of us haven’t been struck by lightning, flashes of sudden bad news have hit us with the same kind of force, such as a cancer diagnosis or any other shocking surprise. When we first hear the words, whether in a doctor’s office, on our front doorstep, or over the phone, we feel as blindsided as if a bolt of lightning had gone through us.

RunningDad told us to “run home” when lightning flashed, and when unwanted news hits, we adults feel like running, too. But where? God has a place. He says, “Run to Me.” As in Proverbs 18:10: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.” Other translations say he’s “a strong fortress” or “a place of protection.”

In other words, as soon as a lightning burst of terrible news touches us, we should fast-dash to the Lord. He’ll tell us what to think when our minds are swirling and will give instruction on what to do, once we are in his place of emotional safety.

My mini-study of biblical lightning also let me know that in the end times, Jesus will return to earth with “an appearance like lightning.” And this: “As lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.” (Matthew 24:27)

Maybe the dramatic east-to-west display Jack and I witnessed last night was a preview of what the sky will look like when we see Jesus returning to earth! And after that, we’ll never be struck by bad news again.

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a Michigan sunset tonight
  2. Praise for a surprise in the mail, another well-stocked chemo care package, sent anonymously
  3. Pray for eyes to see the good in every day

Arms Wide Open

There’s no friend like an old friend. As the world is shrinking and people become more mobile, maintaining old friendships gets tougher. Hanging on requires a deliberate effort to stay in touch, and not just through social media. There’s nothing like putting your arms around a good buddy to nourish a friendship.

???????????????????????????????This weekend seven of us recharged some long term women-friendships. For 25 years we’ve worked to stay current with each other, but recently it’s become increasingly difficult. A decade ago we met monthly, rotating in and out of each other’s homes for evenings of conversation, laughter, and good food. These days, however, finding monthly dates has been impossible, partly because we’ve become grandmas with 43 grands between us.

When we finally do get together, though (this time after 7 months), something special happens. And we’ve just had a very special 24 hours. This was the first time we’ve been together since Mary’s cancer, and during our prayer time today, voices were catching and tears were falling.

Sunny friendshipsBut one of the reasons old friends stay friends is the absence of secrets. Looking around the table at breakfast this morning, it struck me that we seven know virtually everything about each other. We can ask any question and know we’ll get a thorough, honest answer. No subject is off limits, no games are being played. No one is trying to impress another, and there’s no one-up-man-ship.

ConnieThese are the friendships that mean the most to women, and I think to God, too. He wants us to set aside the goofy notion that we can hide something from him or keep him from knowing the whole truth about us. He’s hoping for transparency.

In the Gospels Jesus invites us into open friendship with him, offering to reveal his true self to us. After such a magnanimous offer, how can we refuse to “wrap our arms around him,” preferring arm’s length instead?

This weekend we began to understand that maybe the Lord wants us to view earthly friendships as a hint of what’s waiting for us in Paradise. One day we’ll have a camaraderie with Jesus that will far surpass even what we seven had this weekend. And it will satisfy our longing in an overwhelming way to finally be able to put our arms around Jesus, our true Friend.

5 of 7“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a nourishing weekend with old friends, for sunny weather, and for feeling wonderful
  2. Pray for Monday’s chemo infusion. Mary said, “I know chemo is the right thing to do, but it’s a reminder of the difficult truth that I have cancer.”
  3. She said, “Pray I’ll find the right mental balance between denial (when I’m feeling good) and negativity (when I’m feeling nauseated).