The Cafeteria Line

The cafeteria line.It’s the second day of a new year, and our resolutions may have already gone by the wayside. Most eventually do.

Part of the problem is that we reach too high. It’s like pushing a food tray along a cafeteria line and piling more on our trays than we could ever eat.

The temptation to over-resolve happens frequently in these categories, which are the most popular resolutions people make:

  • to lose weight
  • to stop smoking
  • to get out of debt
  • to exercise more
  • to eat better
  • to save money

It’s interesting that this list of six is really just two:

  • Improving health
  • Improving finances

Apparently these are the areas in which most people need the most change. And we can boil down these two even further, to only one: Giving God control of our lives. If we resolve to do this, he’ll help us with the other two… or six… or ten.

Becky TirabassiI remember reading the dramatic testimony of Becky Tirabassi. She’d been a “bad girl” for years before connecting with Jesus Christ, and after making a resolution to spend one hour each day seeking him, her life turned around. Years later an interviewer said, “How do you stay so trim and fit as you get older?”

 

Her response: “Have you forgotten I spend an hour a day with the Lord?”

In other words, regular time with God was what helped her succeed in the other areas of her life. Scripture corroborates that, telling us if we put him first, everything we need to live successfully will come to us, through him.

The trouble is, we resolve to submit to God but then do it the full-cafeteria-tray way. How big are our desires compared to the size of what we can actually do? We need to remember that progress is made using the same trick that works in keeping any resolution: doing it in bits and pieces.

A first step to letting God have control might be to spend 3 minutes breathing out a prayer as we sit on the edge of the bed each morning. If our first conscious thoughts are directed toward God, we’re off to a good start. By the end of the week we’ve spent 21 minutes in prayer, and by the end of the month, 1½ hours. That small resolve will yield big spiritual gains.

Or maybe submitting to God means reading the Bible in a year, but that might be too much spiritual food on our cafeteria tray. It would be better to tackle smaller amounts, say reading from an open Bible on the bathroom sink while getting ready for the day. It might be just a few minutes, but it would be regular and would amount to a growing appetite for God’s ways.

ResolutionsPollsters tell us fewer and fewer people make resolutions each year; last year 68% made none. And of the 32% who tried, more than half failed.

But why line up with those negative statistics? Spiritual resolutions, no matter how small, can ultimately lead to life-changing results.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33)

Glancing Back… and Forward

Tonight I looked back at the New Year’s Day blogs I’ve posted since Nate died: January 1 of 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013.

Happy New YearIt was interesting to read what I’d been thinking about when one  year rolled into the next. As I read, I felt somehow superior to the beginning-of-the-year-Margaret who was writing on those January 1sts, and in a way I was, because I now know what she didn’t know then about her upcoming year.

For example, when I wrote at the start of 2010 asking God to prepare me for whatever the year would bring, I now can see exactly how he did that. Or in 2012, when I wrote about choosing a banner-year Bible verse praying for “quietness and trust in God” (Isaiah 30:15), I now can see the considerable turmoil the year was going to bring and can understand the reason he influenced me toward that particular verse.

After reading each of those 4 New Year’s Day blogs, I was nodding and saying, “I get it now. I see what God was doing.”

That might be a bit of the way God feels about time passing. He doesn’t have to wait 365 days to know the details of any given year and never stands at the threshold of another January 1st wondering what will happen next. And as for feeling superior, he’s profoundly so.

So then why doesn’t he let us in on some of what’s coming, just like the end-of-the-year-Margaret could have informed the beginning-of-the-year-Margaret? One reason might be that we wouldn’t like what he told us. Another is evident in a verse I used on a New Year’s blog from the year after Nate died: “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, says the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.” (Revelation 1:8)

It should be enough for us to know that God is the Almighty, the unequaled Number One in the Universe, exempt from the passing of time. The fact that he is the One keeping our futures hidden ought to be enough to quell our questions. But it usually isn’t. Our lack of future-knowledge leaves us edgy and dissatisfied at the start of a new year.  How are we supposed to plan ahead or be ready for emergencies if we don’t know what’s going to happen?

A new yearMaybe a more important question is, “A year from now, what will I wish I’d gained from 2014?” For me, it’s the blessing of God, no matter what that looks like. Psalm 111:10 says, “The good life begins in the fear of God. Do that and you’ll know the blessing of God.”  (The Message) And isn’t that what all of us want between January 1, 2014 and January 1, 2015? The good life and the blessing of God.

If a good life begins with the fear of God (acknowledging that he’s #1 and is the only Person controlling everything), we can start on securing it right away. And if we need more specifics than that, he’ll agree to let us have them…. 12 months from now.

Frozen Solid

Last weekend we reached the middle of December, and in southwest Michigan we’ve had 3 snowstorms with colder-than-usual temps. It’s the kind of weather that makes us start the car 10 minutes ahead of departure to let it warm up.

A frozen beachAt the beach, ice-dunes have begun to build, and the creek has morphed into a skating pond. None of us were ready for winter’s fast arrival, and we hadn’t even brought home all of our beach chairs yet.

Frozen solidYesterday, while waiting at the bank drive-through, I saw a perfect picture of winter’s speedy onset. A gutter drain had frozen solid right in the middle of emptying itself.

Sometimes “cold experiences” come to us just as fast and unexpectedly. We might get the cold shoulder from someone we were close to, unable to figure out how we got in the relationship deep-freeze. We don’t know what to do next and feel blocked from reconciling, frozen in our tracks, so to speak.

“The relationship has gone cold,” we say, as we experience icy rejection.

Sunday morning at church a friend in her 80’s was describing how she struggles with the cold, especially with ice beneath her unsteady feet. Suddenly she straightened herself and said, “Well, spring can’t be far behind.” Chuckling, she walked away, leaving me with a furrowed brow.

“That’s crazy talk,” I thought. “It’s not even officially winter yet!”

What she meant, though, was that in the midst of the freezing-cold weather, she knew for sure her future was going to include warmth and ice-free walking.

The same can apply to our cold relationships. Though circumstances seem frozen and we think they’ll never thaw, God has a few suggestions for warming things up. He says, “First of all, pull Me into the mix. Just as I insist every harsh winter eventually give way to spring, I know how to thaw cold relationships and can teach you how.”

He doesn’t say it’s easy, but here are 10 of his surefire ways to melt icy situations and bring relationship-springs:

  • Talk in a soft voice. (Proverbs 15:1)
  • Speak evil of no one. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never avenge yourselves, but leave that to God. (Romans 12:19)
  • Never be irritable or resentful. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
  • With a tender heart, forgive each other. (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Show perfect courtesy toward all people. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never be arrogant or rude. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
  • Be open to reason, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)
  • Never repay evil for evil. (Romans 12:17)
  • Don’t insist on your own way. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Frozen creekIf we follow these biblical guidelines, even those relationships that are frozen solid will experience a warming trend soon.

”Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’  Then you will shine…. like stars in the sky.” (Philippians 2:14-15)