Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Done in Love

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Mom always referred to a daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-love, which was a positive way to begin well. The label “in-law” isn’t very warm or inviting but implies we’re related to each other only because the law says so. Maybe that’s why the better description is “daughter-in-love.”

Katy and crowd

My daughter-in-love Katy has been an asset to Hans and our whole family since the day she said “I do,” and because she and I have known each other for 7+ years, we’re well along in our relationship. Though living far apart has its negatives, there is one positive: when I visit, I “move in” and get to be part of the family. By fitting in with their busy household, I get the inside scoop on how life is going. I can learn what the stresses are and witness the joys.

Katy was the firstborn of 5 siblings in her family, and in that position has always been an excellent organizer and planner. But running a household with 4 children (ages 4 and under) presents minute-to-minute challenges her former life of order and control never knew. Sometimes all 4 need her at the same time that the phone is ringing and the pot is boiling over. So Katy, a naturally disciplined person, can struggle with such unplanned turmoil. On occasion she’s had to bend nearly to her breaking point. When that happens, though, she knows exactly what to do, because she’s not just my daughter-in-love. She’s God’s, too.

Her “–in-love” relationship with him differs from the one with me in that she never had to win him over. Though I find Katy very easy to love, if she hadn’t been, it might have taken longer for us to develop a relationship. As for God, it wouldn’t have mattered one bit. Her daughtership to him is an “-in-love” one, not because she’s wise, optimistic, and flexible (which she is), or because any law dictates it, but because he wants it that way.

All of us can be blessed with an “-in-love” connection that’s meaningful. The only thing we have to do is commit ourselves to God. Though we don’t become related to him through a marriage, we do by adoption, and because he chose us, his love is strong.

Katy

Being adopted, we are given all the rights of spiritual daughters-in-love (or sons-in-love), which include his stress-management help. So when Katy’s world closes in on her, she knows what to do. She calls on her Father and is sure he’ll come through for her, because “-in-love” relationships find pleasure in helping like that.

I’m so glad Katy is God’s daughter-in-love, and I’m also thankful he’s allowed her to be mine, too, not in quite the same way, but in a way that’s very, very nice.

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”  (Ephesians 1:5)

Team Gran UK

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Here in north England, my British grandchildren spent the day with their two grandmas, Katy’s mum Dandy (i.e. Sarah) and Hans’ mom MeeMee (i.e. me). Each year we grannies excitedly anticipate this day with our shared little ones even more than they look forward to being with us. Although we began our tradition to give their mummy some free time, now Sarah and I would get together regardless.

Cattle crossingWe hiked country trails, dashed under leafy trees during two cloudbursts, made friends with a mama cow and her baby, learned to step around fresh “cow pats” and gathered woodsy treasures in over-the-shoulder bags.

 

Baking by committee

Later, back in Sarah’s kitchen, we group-baked “cow pat biscuits” (widely-spreading oat cookies), consistent with our country theme.

As much fun as it is to share a day with our little ones, what Sarah and I anticipate most is our annual chat during their afternoon rest time. Today, after making a fresh pot of coffee and settling in at her large kitchen table, we caught up on a year’s worth of changes in both our families. Between her 5 children and my 7, we had more to share than one quiet time for grandchildren allowed.

FriendsChristian friendship is one of God’s most precious gifts, and he leads us into relationships in the most unusual ways. Although Sarah and I met only recently (2006) and see each other only annually, we’ve come into a special appreciation of each other. One of the reasons for that is that God is always working on a hidden agenda when he brings two people together as friends.

As usual, he wants to pour his wisdom into us, and friendship is an excellent place for him to do it. For example, today as I was sharing about a recent personal challenge, I broke down and cried. Though I don’t often weep around others, somewhere my subconscious knew Sarah’s lavish compassion would be ok with that.

Her response was nourishing, and our honest back-and-forth continued through the afternoon. God was demonstrating for me, through Sarah, how he wants me to respond to others with that same kind of compassion. And what better way to learn it than from a good friend?

Through friendship God also wants to teach us how to encourage each other. Today Sarah offered loving support to me, and I hope I did to her. In addition, he wants us to challenge each other with the truth, to stick by each other in times of tension, and to offer the counsel he gives us to pass along to one another. And he’s hoping we’ll learn all this within friendships.

As for the little people in our charge today? Though they are our precious grands, year to year, they are also becoming our friends.

Cow pat biscuits going into the ovenCow pat biscuits fresh out of the oven“When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” (Romans 1:12)

Calendar Decisions

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Turning 65The numbers are piling up. Today I arrived at 68, and the label “middle sixties” has evaporated (not to mention “middle age”). I’m officially pushing 70. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I know plenty of septuagenarians who are still in the thick of life, and every month I read fresh stories of 70+ successes (when my AARP magazine arrives).

All in all, 68 doesn’t bother me. I don’t think 70 will either, because our length of days isn’t up to us.

Happy 70th...God makes that call, and our part is to live each day to his prescribed fullest, no matter what the year. None of us understand why some people live to 100 and others die in infancy.

For example, my dad had two brothers, surprise-twins born in 1910. The first was named William, and in looking for a second boy-name, my grandparents glanced at that morning’s newspaper. King Edward of England was in the headlines, so baby #2 became Edward.

William lived only 20 months, dying of pneumonia. Edward lived 94 years. This seems out of kilter, but God doesn’t usually disclose the reasons for his calendar decisions. That’s probably because we wouldn’t understand them (or agree with them) anyway.

All of us wonder how long we’ll live and which birthday cake will be our last. If I reach my 90’s as both of my parents did, I’ll be hanging around for 25 more years, an astounding thought that’s not necessarily all good. As Mom said, “Life after 90 is full of troubles.” She meant physically, but included in that are emotional and relational troubles, too.

The Bible says the same thing as Mom did, but a little differently, insisting that troubles begin in earnest after 70, not 90. We can say, “Oh that isn’t true these days. Fifty is the new 30, and 70 is the new 50!”

Maybe.

The foundational truth about growing old, however, is that we’re to do it gracefully and in God’s way. Scripture assures us that if we’re still alive, it’s because he wants us to be, and if he wants us to be (no matter our age), it’s because he’s got valuable things for us yet to do. Thinking like this changes age-related stereotypes, giving us purpose and direction for each day. That even goes for life in a hospital bed or a wheelchair.

God never sidelines anybody. Each one is valuable to him whether that person lives to 100 or dies in the womb before a birth date can get on the calendar. And those troubles that come after 70? Or 90? If we ask God how he wants us to travel through them, circumstances will defy logic and produce good things.

Lotsa birthday candles

So…. No matter how many candles are on the cake, it can always be a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

“You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set.” (Psalm 119:4-5  The Message)