Stop and Go

Posted on October 26, 2012 by Margaret

What causes a woman to begin the process of laboring so strongly she can actually bring a baby into this world? The medical profession has a number of theories, none of which is scientifically conclusive, but all of them offer the same bottom line answer: no one knows.

Obstetric nurses will tell you women go into labor when there’s a full moon or a change in barometric pressure. Others might say it’s electrical storms, tornadoes, or hurricanes. A few insist labor begins when stars and planets align in a certain way.

But what do you do if everything within you longs to go into labor but you don’t? Self-help web sites offer all kinds of “natural” suggestions from castor oil to spicy foods to acupuncture, but results are mixed.

My favorite theory is the one that says labor is initiated by the baby herself. Science is speculating that maybe her adrenal gland releases cortisone, causing the placenta to convert estrogen to progesterone, which then produces prostiglandins, which cause the uterus to begin contracting.

If this theory is the correct one, it’s no wonder doctors can’t predict when labor will start. But even if that daisy chain of hormonal events is what triggers it, the baby probably can’t willfully signal her own adrenal gland to start the action. So, what or who does?

Of course it’s God.

I firmly believe he is present with his breath of life at every conception, and once a created being “gets started,” Scripture says it’s Jesus who holds it all together. Because of that, it seems logical the Trinity would be present and involved in the labor directive, “Now’s the time.”

Of course doctors can insist a birth take place by administering drugs, but often the woman’s body (and the baby) resist being rushed, making that known by increasing a mother’s suffering and pain through the labor process.

Contractions and their statistics (length and spacing) have been the conversational theme at our house since yesterday when we were sent home from the hospital with instructions not to return until pains were closer. So Birgitta had a 2^nd night of misery, to which Louisa and I said, “Oh, that’s wonderful!” referring to her progress.

But the new day brought a new wrinkle: Labor stopped. Then hours later, it resumed. Then later stopped. And as I’m writing this, it has once again resumed.

Anticipation builds as Birgitta goes into her 3^rd miserable night, and a verse from Ecclesiastes is looping in my brain: “God has made everything beautiful in its time.” (v. 11)

And it just isn’t time.

The Bookends of Life

Posted on October 22, 2012 by Margaret

Today Birgitta and I talked about the unpredictability of a baby’s arrival and the resulting stress of not being able to plan ahead. Will labor begin this afternoon? Tomorrow? A week from now? Which calendar events will we have to cancel because we’re on our way to the hospital?

Of course those of us not anticipating a labor and delivery know similar frustrations. Although Birgitta’s situation is blatantly unpredictable, the rest of us don’t really have things under control, either. But it’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking we do. Ha ha to that.

Any single day has a thousand elements that can “wiggle” and force us from planned agendas. A potent example occurred last weekend through a phone call from a young man close to our family. Earlier that day his mother had died in her apartment as the result of a fire. This news sent him into a flurry of schedule-shuffling and has rearranged his priorities every hour since then.

Any one of us can be on top of the world one minute and in turmoil the next. All it takes is a tiny text, a quick phone call, or a brief email. Confusion and commotion could be around the next corner for any of us, and that even includes the baby that’s about to join our family.

Birgitta’s little girl will shortly be thrown into stressful turmoil of her own, just by being born. We know many of the ways her day of birth is going to be a tough one, but she has no idea. For the moment she’s resting peacefully, unencumbered by expectations or anxiety, blissfully unaware of what’s just ahead. But as labor begins and then progresses, she’ll undergo circumstances quite different from the agenda she’s followed for 9 months without interruption.

A familiar Scripture says, “We brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out.” (1 Timothy 6:7) We generally think that refers to physical nakedness, but it could also mean a baby arrives without bringing a care or concern, no preconceptions, misconceptions, or expectations. But can we apply that in reverse at the end of our lives when we “take nothing out?”

Actually we can. When we die, as our friend’s mother did, we don’t take our worries or health problems with us, our pain, or any other negative, including relationship struggles. So the idea “you can’t take it with you” turns out to be something good.

Can we learn anything from the truth that our lives are bookended by “nothing-in, nothing-out?” Maybe wisdom in this is to hold our plans lightly and refuse to stress when disturbing texts, calls, and emails derail us. Maybe we should trust God to use every derailment (and our responses to them) toward readying us for eternity.

And that’s the one exception to the “nothing-out” rule. Preparation for eternity? It turns out we can take that with us.

“Even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.” (Psalm 90:10)

Ready… Set…

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Margaret

Birgitta has been abundantly blessed by others who have supplied all she’ll need to get started mothering her baby girl. She’s completely ready.

Cousin Emily sent 8 monster-sized bins of goodies, along with a stroller, car seat, exer-saucer, play mat, and lots more. Birgitta’s work cohorts surprised her with a luncheon at Redamak’s Restaurant, showering her with added gifts, and last weekend another group pooled their resources to buy her a leather-look glider-rocker with matching ottoman.

Though Baby Nyman isn’t here yet, her mommy is ready.

Now, 2 days from her due date, Birgitta wakes up each morning wondering, “Is today the day?” But that’s a secret God is still keeping. Astoundingly, he’s kept it for a long, long time, from even before he’d made the first human. Way back then, though, he already knew Birgitta’s daughter.

Something else mind-boggling is that this little girl will, herself, be looking for God. Part of his forming her has been to shape her heart and mind to feel a need for him, a kind of mysterious awareness of her Creator that God tucks into each one of us before we’re born. Some people call it a God-shaped vacuum. Whatever it is, it’s an innate sense of things eternal.

I don’t pretend to understand all this. Scripture says, “God has planted eternity in the human heart,” but right after that it says, “Even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

I’m glad that was added, because it relieves the stress of trying to make sense of everything God says. He’s ok with us just believing it’s true because it’s coming from him. That’s good enough.

Neither Birgitta nor I understand all that’s happened within the heart and soul of her unborn child, and I’m thankful God has taken responsibility for it. By comparison to what he’s been doing, her preparation has been easy. It started with a list and ended when each item was checked off:

The room has been redecorated and reorganized.
The clothes are in the drawers.
The hospital bag is packed.
The diapers are stacked next to the wipes.
The car seat is in the car.
And the bassinet is empty, ready for its occupant.

But better than all that motherly readiness is that God is ready… well, at least 99.9%. As Birgitta testified in her blog post (A Word from Birgitta), her little girl is part of an “intentional and purposeful design set into place by an omniscient Creator.” And part of his intention is to keep the baby inside the mommy until he’s 100% finished with his pre-birth preparations of this little one.