Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Sneak Peek #27

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) knew that as a mom it was my responsibility to “train up my child in the way he should go” as the old King James Version puts it (Proverbs 22:6). So I got busy with my kids, preschoolers included, teaching them to make their beds. I knew once they mastered that, they’d feel good about themselves, and I’d feel good about giving them a valuable habit they could use the rest of their lives.

Knowing young children can’t be expected to do well at chores beyond their capabilities, I simplified the process to include only a fitted sheet, a blanket, and a pillow, never expecting them to change the sheets, just to make the beds.

I gathered the children and said, “I’m going to show you how to make your own beds.”

They responded with enthusiasm. “I wanna try!”

But day after day the beds remained unmade, so I thought I’d sweeten the deal. “Who wants a candy treat?”

Again, enthusiasm prevailed.

“When I see your beds made, I’ll put a candy on your pillow.”

They all agreed.

I thought bed-making could be learned after just one lesson, but even with the candy, most of the kids worked at it for weeks before faithfully doing it, sometimes taxing my patience. In the end, only Andrew adopted it as a regular habit. His room was often in shambles, but his bed was always made.

SIDEBAR: TRAINING TOOLS TO USE

  • A fun challenge
  • Complimentary words
  • Rewards
  • Punishment
  • Gentle reprimand

Sneak Peek #26

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

We learn from Scripture what patient parental teaching looks like. In Genesis 2, the Lord lets Adam, the first human being, name all the animals God had formed from the ground. These animals belonged to God. He shaped them and established their characteristics, and certainly He could have named them Himself, probably with more creativity than Adam used. But He let Adam “help” with this important task.

Verse 19 says, “He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.” God didn’t make suggestions during the process or redo any of the names when Adam was finished. He didn’t interfere in any way. Instead He gave Adam complete freedom to do the job in whatever way he chose. And afterward, He let it stand.

This challenges today’s mothers to let their children participate in important jobs. They should give them the freedom to do it the way they believe is best, even if that way might turn out poorly. In the end, the greater value might not have been in the task accomplished but in the lessons learned along the way.

Have you ever wondered how long it took for Adam to give unique names to “all the livestock, the birds in the sky, and all the wild animals” (Genesis 2:20)? God’s patience is a wonderful model for mothers as they teach their children. The Creator had several important things for Adam to learn when He invited him to name the animals, just as you have multiple things for your children to learn in any given life experience. Patient waiting is always one of the hallmarks of a good teacher.

SIDEBAR: CHARACTER TRAITS TO ENCOURAGE

  • Honesty
  • Kindness
  • Cheerfulness
  • Cooperation
  • Sharing
  • Patience
  • Generosity

Sneak Peek #25

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

How well I recall the morning I got an “F” in mothering. Still in my pajamas, I had gathered my Bible, notebook, pen, and mug of coffee. Tiptoeing past the stairs toward the living room, eager to eat a spiritual breakfast, I glanced up to see our toddler sitting on the top step . . . already! When he saw me come around the corner, his face lit up, and he greeted me in his usual cheery fashion. “Mama!”

In a split second my face fell, going from neutral to angry, exactly as our eyes met. Thinking only of myself, I let out a low moan. This child had robbed me of something valuable. My treasure had been blown out of the room by the cold wind of an interruption I was having trouble accepting. And there the two of us froze, a chasm of disconnect between us.

“Why are you out of bed so early?” I said with irritation, knowing this was a question no toddler could answer. Still caught up with my own agenda, it took a minute for my displeasure to calm. I turned toward the kitchen to put away my Bible, notebook, and pen, while my little guy bounced down the steps on his bottom, eager to put his arms around me.

Thankfully God convicted me quickly, and we made up in a hurry. I tried to backpedal my poor performance, but I felt bad then and still do today, more than forty years later. But motherhood doesn’t come with do-overs. I squandered the chance to plant a good seed and planted a weed instead.

SIDEBAR: WEED WISDOM

  • Weeds are a fact of life.
  • Pull weeds while they’re still small.
  • Weeds are stronger than tender plants.
  • Don’t mistake weeds for good plants.
  • Unpulled weeds will destroy a garden.