Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Shiner Stories

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In a family of 7 children, injuries abound, not from brawling but from childhood clumsiness and crashing into obstacles. A black eye is a common occurrence with kids, and ours never stopped running into things.

This photo of Louisa tells a shiner story of high impact with a coffee table, but that tale is insignificant compared to a second story told by the same picture.

It was 1991, and our family was in a financial free-fall. Every day brought more bad news, making it difficult to believe Jeremiah 29:11.

During those days, that verse was popping up frequently in sermons and had become the mantra of several Christian organizations: ”I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I really wanted to believe God’s “hopeful future” applied to us Nymans, but it was becoming more and more difficult.

One day 3 year old Louisa, 1 year old Birgitta, and I were pushing our shopping cart through K-Mart when I spotted a display of little girl dresses. Louisa had a Sunday school program upcoming with nothing cute to wear, and I began sliding hangers on the store rack while simultaneously thinking, “Stop it. You can’t afford these.”

But it was too late. A darling dress was already in our cart, black with pink roses and a satin sash to match. Weezi began jumping up and down. “For me?”

“For you!” I said, picturing her on the church stage feeling special.

While in the check-out line, however, common sense took hold of me. “I guess we’re not buying this,” I told the girl, handing her the dress.

That afternoon, while the girls napped and I had a pity party, next-door-neighbor Becky called. “My sister sent me a box of girl clothes, and since I only have boys, I thought maybe you’d want them.”

“Sure,” I said, offering to run over, but before I could, she was on my porch struggling under the weight of a giant box. We set it down in my kitchen, and she headed home. When I opened it, I gasped. Lying on top was a black dress with pink roses and a pink, satin sash (see photo). It was nearly identical to the dress I’d left behind at K-Mart. This time I let the tears come, a joyful response to God’s unexpected surprise.

Sometimes he lets us run into life’s sharp edges so forcefully we end up with shiners. But then there are times when he carefully moves us past each obstacle toward spectacular surprises that take our breath away.

The trick is being willing to accept whatever he plans, whether it’s a painful shiner or a joyful surprise. Our part is to trust his timing and judgment, especially on our tough days. I’ll take a shiner any day, though, if I know a gasp-worthy surprise is coming, too.

And amazingly, the day I found Louisa’s pretty dress, a second gasp came right after the first…

(tomorrow’s blog)

“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who…crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things.” (Psalm 103:2,4,5)

 

It wasn’t easy.

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Some men go through life without having children, and some have only boys. In both cases, they’ve been spared one of life’s more difficult moments. They’ll never have to “give away” a daughter on her wedding day.

Little girls idolize their daddies. That’s the way it should be, since Daddy is their first reference for what God is like. In a best-case scenario, fathers evidence God-like characteristics toward their daughters: patience, kindness, love, goodness. If a daughter grows up in a relationship with this kind of daddy, it’s twice as easy for her to later relate to God as her loving heavenly Father.

Most fathers are fiercely protective of their daughters. Heaven help the person who intentionally harms them! This is what’s behind a father’s mistrust of boys who come calling during the dating years. Fathers see themselves as earth’s best security force for their little girls, no matter how big they get.

Then comes the greatest of all fatherly challenges, a daughter’s wedding day. Even if a man approves of his potential son-in-law, that walk down a church aisle to place his daughter’s hand in that of a young man can weaken even the strongest dad.

I remember my own wedding walk down the long aisle of Moody Church. Clutching my dad’s arm gave me a sense of security, and I knew if I got wobbly, he’d stabilize me. But what was he thinking? I never asked.

I did ask Nate, though, about his similar experience. He walked our Linnea down the aisle wearing an expression that said, “This is hard!” When we talked about it later, he said, “It was much harder than I thought it would be.”

And that’s the way it is for fathers who love their daughters.

But even in cases of poor fathering, no one needs to be without a perfect Father. God invites us to be his children, an offer that didn’t come without a “giving away.” Unlike earthly fathers who give away their daughters on a happy wedding day, God gave away his Son to an awful fate, a wrenching death he didn’t deserve. There is no greater sacrifice. Surely that day was excruciating for the Father, and yet he followed through.

Today we are able to reap the benefits of being children of that perfect Father. He is devoted beyond human capability and will never make the wrong call on our behalf. And if we wobble, he will stabilize us.

Although I was eager to have dad give me away on my wedding day, I don’t ever want God to give me away. And happily, he has promised he never will.

“To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

Winning Approval

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None of us like to be refused permission, but like it or not, the world is full of hoops to jump through in order to win approval.

Some of that jumping takes place at local DMVs, Department of Motor Vehicles. Although today was Birgitta’s last day at home for quite a while, we had to spend several hours working on three stressful projects:

1.  Replacing her misplaced driver’s license

2.  Updating her car’s license plate sticker

3.  Switching the plates from IL to MI

4.  Applying for a car title with her name on it

Before leaving the house, we tallied our documents: birth certificate, two pieces of mail addressed to her, her social security card, the car title, student ID, proof of valid insurance, checkbook. Rumor has it it’s difficult to get approval in the state of Michigan, and we’d already been turned down once for incomplete documentation.

As we clutched our items and drove to the DMV, my mind drifted back to May of 2009, when Nate and I were trying to establish Michigan residency. It was a daisy chain of approvals that had to occur in the correct order: first, register to vote, but that couldn’t happen without getting a driver’s license, which couldn’t happen without Michigan no-fault insurance.

We were excited to be moving to Michigan, anxious to get legal. Nate’s back pain was severe that day, so I drove the 20 miles while he tipped back in his seat, closing his eyes. Once we got there, he made good use of the hour-long wait by setting up Michigan insurance on his cell phone, after which we worked with DMV personnel at separate desks.

At the end of two hours they told me, “Everything’s in order. Here’s your license.” But poor Nate. He heard, “Sorry, big guy. This piece of mail doesn’t qualify,” and was denied. I saw his shoulders drop as he realized he’d have to go through the whole process again.

Two weeks later we returned toting complete documents but found the office closed.

Today Birgitta and I stood together at a high counter at the mercy of the woman across from us. She had the power to approve or disapprove Birgitta’s attempt to become a Michigander. Although the outcome was important since she needed a new license, I thought of another outcome far more critical: approval by God.

All of us want mercy in eternity, and because of Christ’s death in our stead, we can have it. Repentance of sin and belief in this Savior are the only “documents” needed. The biggest difference between getting Michigan citizenship and citizenship in heaven is that we have to prove ourselves in the first case and have already been approved in the second.

This afternoon, despite two major set-backs, we walked out of the DMV with all 4 tasks completed.

As for Nate, when he and I readied to make our third trip there, we learned he wouldn’t need to become a Michigander after all. He was on his way to merciful, pre-approved existence in heaven.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God?” (Galatians 1:10)