When I was two (1947), Santa brought me my first baby doll. She had a cloth body, a hard plastic head, and was about the size of a real newborn. Something inside clicked when I first held her, and from then on, she was my constant companion. I named her Becky and lovingly cared for her.
By the time I was 7, I began wishing Becky would come to life. Some little girls beg their mommies to have another baby, but I didn’t want that. I wanted Becky to be my baby, not mom’s.
In Sunday school I’d been taught two important concepts: (1) God said we could ask him for anything, and (2) God could do anything he wanted. So every night before I went to bed, I tucked Becky into her doll crib and prayed over her. “Dear Jesus, please turn Becky into a real baby.”
That first morning when I found she was still a lifeless doll, I was baffled. God had made Adam real from clay, so I didn’t doubt he could “fix” Becky, too. With confidence and determination, I decided to pray every night until he granted my request.
If ever the expression “faithful in prayer” applied, it was then. I didn’t miss a night, asking God again and again to bring Becky to life. Wasn’t he hearing me? Didn’t he understand the request or my longing for it? Wasn’t I good enough to get one favor from God? Did he lie when he said he could do anything?
Most of us find ourselves asking those same questions even as adults. We pray for something worthwhile, and when it doesn’t happen, we question God’s wisdom and our faith in him. We wonder if the scriptural promises are true and if they are, why they don’t apply to us.
As a young girl in a faith crisis, I finally went to Mom. She explained that God had indeed heard all my prayers and had even answered them all… with a “no”. According to her, God knew a third grade girl couldn’t care for a real baby. She said, “Who would babysit when you were in school or out playing?” I didn’t have an answer.
For the most part I bought her reasoning, but inwardly I was frustrated with God. If he was going to say “no”, he could have at least given me the reason. But even now, 60 years later, he doesn’t usually give reasons for why he says “no” to prayers. Instead he wants me to trust that he does hear me and answers according to what’s best for me.
In my case, the “no” about Becky was permanent. I still have her, and she’s still a lifeless doll. But behind that childhood “no” God quietly whispered a “wait”. Actually it was more like, “But just you wait!” Twenty years later, when the time was right, he changed his “wait” to “yes”!
And along came Nelson, Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Hans, Louisa and Birgitta, 7 real live babies.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
