Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Frozen Solid

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Here in the Midwest we’ve come to the part of winter we call the deep freeze. Moving from December to January is the difference between a cold refrigerator and a bitter-cold freezer. In December I can leave a can of Coke in the car overnight, and it’ll be delightfully cold for errand-running in the morning. In January it’ll be a Coke-brick.

Weathermen cheerfully tell us tonight’s wind chill will be fifteen below zero, which means when I’m walking Jack just before bedtime my nose will stick together and gloved fingers will sting. People my age who plan ahead are often settled in Arizona or Florida by this time of year, having forgotten all about down-filled coats and fur-lined boots. The rest of us are learning the definition of “hearty” and are finding out whether or not we are.

 

Today I decided to pick up the red Christmas welcome mat lying outside my front door. But when I grabbed it, it was stuck to the flagstone, frozen solid. Forcing it would have either ripped the rug or given me a bad back.

I could have flooded the area with boiling water, waited for the rug to thaw and then pulled it up just before it froze again. But that would have left the front step a danger zone of slippery ice. The wisest choice was to admit the time wasn’t right to pick up the rug and to wait for a thaw in the weather.

Most of us can “force an issue” prematurely with expertise. In the category of parenting alone, I can think of many examples. We force our kids to eat their broccoli, floss their teeth and read their Bibles before they’re ready, never giving them a chance to choose these good things on their own. We coax them to take music or sports lessons they may not want, and we promote friendships they don’t enjoy. We push them toward colleges they didn’t choose and are sure we know who would make the perfect marriage partner.

Our skill at doing things too soon also spills into our spiritual lives. We succumb to the temptation to tell God what he should and shouldn’t do in our lives based on what we see at the moment. Most often it’s to our benefit if he doesn’t comply but acts instead on his own long-range view.

Even as we pour out our needs to him, we should do so with caution, knowing we might be getting ahead of ourselves. We may say, “Give me traveling safety, Lord,” while he’s planning to use our upcoming fender-bender as a useful teaching tool.

We may get stuck wondering why God doesn’t give us our way, why the proverbial “rug” won’t come off the frozen ground right when we want it to. He’s probably just waiting for our hearts to thaw. When they finally do, and when he deems the time is just right, the “rug” will lift with virtually no effort at all.

As for my red welcome mat? I guess I’m ready for Valentine’s Day.

“God catches the wise in their own craftiness, and the schemes of the wily are brought to a quick end.” (Job 5:13)

Hanging On

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Nate wanted to go to Harvard University. He made his decision while still in junior high and worked diligently throughout high school, always reaching for his dream.

As a senior he applied early to Harvard, wanting to be in the first wave of acceptance letters, but had failed to consider one important factor. While he was the managing editor of the school newspaper, he’d written a series of harsh articles about two of the school’s teachers. In his opinion, they were more interested in coaching sports than teaching history, and he expounded on this in the newspaper.

Of course the teachers were insulted and let Nate know it. What he’d forgotten was his need for university recommendations from these same teachers, since he would be a history major. One of them had bluntly told Nate, “I’ll see to it you never get into Harvard.”

That might have been a frustrated high school student’s inflated opinion of the conversation, but the bottom line was a rejection letter from Harvard. Nate’s hopes were dashed, and receiving acceptances from several other excellent universities didn’t ease his pain.

Dotted throughout our 40 years together were a handful of references to the Harvard rejection story and especially the teacher who threatened him. It was difficult for Nate to let go, because of the hateful way this person had acted, although his overblown response to Nate’s articles seemed to actually vindicate what had been written about him.

None of us completely get our way as we go through life. After a crushing disappointment, it’s what we do next that determines whether or not we’ll be able to distance ourselves from the event. We can either mull it over again and again, increasing our resentment, or we can tell God, “You deal with it, because I can’t.”

I don’t think Nate ever experienced complete freedom from the malice of that history teacher. The teacher probably thought very little about Nate after he graduated, but Nate often thought about him. Turning it over to God would have been beneficial.

Last Sunday our pastor quoted Martin Luther who said, “There are only two days on my calendar. Today and that day,” meaning the day we meet our Maker. The hurtful events of yesterday shouldn’t be allowed to bind us today. It’s our choice, though. We can drag all the unfair stuff along with us, risking ruining today, or we can say no to that, with God’s help.

One day, after Nate and I had been married nearly a year, he told me the Harvard rejection story. He’d graduated with a strong GPA from Northwestern University and was about to graduate honorably from the University of Illinois Law School, so the Harvard rejection didn’t matter much to me. But as he talked, I could sense he was still hurting.

But we were newlyweds, and our “today” was lots of fun, so I tried to encourage him back into it. “If you’d gone to Harvard, we wouldn’t have met!”

I watched his pain melt, and he said, “Oh, I would have come back to the Midwest to get you.”

We only have today (which we know), and that day (which we don’t know).

“…of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” (Matthew 24:36)

Up to Down

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The girls and I went through a Jerry Seinfeld stage several years back, guffawing at his stand-up comedy and the DVDs of his shows. One of the jokes stuck with me, a clever commentary on children and parents:

 When you’re little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up.

“Wait up! Hold up! Shut up! Mom, I’ll clean up! Just let me stay…up!”

 Parents, of course, are just the opposite. Everything is down.

“Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here. Sit down. Put that… down!”

I would add one more “up” from a child’s point of view. “Everything I want to get my hands on is… up!”

Before my five grandchildren arrived in December, I babyproofed the house. But short of emptying rooms, I couldn’t hit 100%. I removed breakables and swallowable objects in every room from three feet and down but still heard, “What’s Evelyn chewing on? What’s Micah putting in his mouth?” We’ve removed barrettes, pieces of plastic, tiny bits of broken toys and blobs of sopped paper.

As the days passed, our toddlers became experts at extending their reach higher and higher. Not even the kitchen counters were a safe zone after they discovered a couple of plastic stools. Now the only out-of-reach spots are the mantle and the tops of bookcases, hutches and the refrigerator.

 Car keys, cell phones, ipods, DVDs, candles, phone chargers and other valuables have been heaped high in places we can barely reach. To the adults, it’s a slight inconvenience. To the children, it’s intense frustration. Their days are spent looking… up… and scheming ways to retrieve what looks so appealing from down-low.

The problem comes in having cross purposes. Our little ones judge themselves perfectly capable of properly handling the breakables while we know the truth, that their touch means death to valuables. Interestingly, when we provide substitutes, (toy phones or blank keys), they quickly learn the ploy and toss them aside.

Little children are to us what we are to God. When we look to him, it’s always “up”. He’s higher than we are in all categories, and his decisions to keep certain things out of our reach are always for our good. Just as our kids can’t understand why so many things have to be put up, we get frustrated when God doesn’t rescue us quickly or answer prayer our way. 

Unlike toddlers who whine and reach up indefinitely, I ought to acquiesce quickly and be willing to let the up’s stay up. Because when I’m gazing up with cravings, I’m missing what’s already come down from God, most significantly, Jesus himself. And one day he’ll come down again, triumphing over every evil. 

When the battles are over, a new heaven and earth will also come down. And when that happens, even the frsutrated toddlers will finally have everything they ever wanted.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.” (James 1:17)