God’s Perfect Timing

In a few short weeks a new book will be published. The back story is that my sister Mary and I wrote it together over an 18 year period.

That sounds like a long time to write about raising children from birth to only age five, but it wasn’t the content that stretched our project. It was the raising of children ourselves.

Mary and I first talked about co-writing a book long ago in side-by-side beach chairs. “Some day we should write for younger moms, so they can avoid the many mistakes we’ve made,” she said.

We began praying about it and our sense was that God wanted us to move forward, encouraging mothers whose efforts to raise children these days are often denigrated by our culture.

We set to work, even though finding time together without kids was a challenge. After we would reacquaint ourselves with what we’d written to that point, it was usually time to put it all away again.

As our collective 14 children grew older, though, new pockets of peace popped up, and we began making better headway. Then a giant stop sign planted itself right in front of us:

Mary’s terminal cancer diagnosis.

Her free time quickly filled with medical appointments, surgery, feeding tubes, and chemotherapy – and the book was set aside. I gathered our materials and folded them deep into a basement box.

We assumed Mary’s remaining time would be in days not years, but how fortunate we were to be wrong. About five months after her diagnosis her health was stable, and she was feeling good. One day, again at the beach, she said, “Hey, let’s dig out the book and try again.”

“Really?” I said, grateful for her forward-thinking.

“ Well let’s try, anyway,” she said. “Who knows what’s ahead.”

The next day we dug out the stack of 10×13 yellow envelopes stuffed full of ideas, examples, and Scriptures for each chapter, and spread them out to see where we’d left off.

As we worked, we followed the pace of Mary’s good and bad days, making sure we had lots of creative sessions at (guess where) the beach. 

One day I told Mary that since the Lord was the Initiator behind our book, he might just keep her going until the project was finished. With her usual pluck she said, “Then let’s drag our feet.”

God always finishes what he starts, and two years later, he brought us to our finish line. We began shooting the book through cyber-space to different publishers who each considered it for several months, and we came close. But before we got a yes, the Lord lifted Mary into Paradise.

Both of us trusted God to publish the book whenever he wanted, and now…this appears to be his time. THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE, will be launched in several weeks.

And I like to think Mary knows all about it.

“It is not for you to know times… that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” (Acts 1:7)

A Lovely Look-Back

Reminiscing brings pleasure to those of us getting up in years. We find joy in looking back over our shoulders at the many ways God was active on our behalf.

Not long ago the Lord initiated a look-back that surprised us all. My adult kids and I were following a road map of all the places Nate and I had lived in the Chicago area after we were married – a tour set up by Linnea.

First stop was a tidy bungalow Nate and I called home right after he graduated from law school. We lived there with an aunt who kept me company when Nate had to go on active military duty.

Next we visited the city apartment building where we lived for a year as Nate settled into his first lawyering job in Chicago’s Loop.

After that we drove to a three story walk-up on the north side of the city. Back in 1972, it had charmed us because of its proximity to a small patch of beach on Lake Michigan’s shoreline. If Nate and I hung our heads out the apartment window and looked left, we could see the water.  

We then drove to the suburbs and stopped at three houses, the first in Deerfield where we lived for three years, the second (also Deerfield) for five years, and the third in Prospect Heights where we raised all seven of our children and lived for twenty-nine years.

As the kids and I drove along that day, they urged me to share memories linked to each location. I was honored that they were interested.

We hadn’t planned on getting inside any of these special places except at our last stop. I’d written to the current owners of our old farmhouse, warning them not to be alarmed if they saw a crowd congregating in their cul de sac taking pictures – because it would just be us.

When we knocked, Theresa warmly invited us in and led us to a lavish hot chocolate / dessert bar in the kitchen. She encouraged us to tour the house at our leisure and offered to take pictures.

She got a kick out of our reminiscences and was happy to hear how much we loved the house. Then, as we hiked upstairs, God had a sweet surprise waiting for us.

Louisa’s old bedroom, now pink and green with fresh white woodwork, was a far cry from her decorating — glitter-painted walls festooned with hundreds of 4×6 photos. As we complimented our hostess on the room, she asked a question.

“Would you mind looking in the closet? Maybe you can explain something to me.”

Wedging ourselves into the small space, we turned and saw a loopy ballpoint script written on the inside of the door frame:  “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:13)

Louisa caught her breath and said, “Oh my gosh! I wrote that! When I was thirteen!” It was a quote that had impacted a middle-school girl enough to tattoo it in a private place – seventeen years ago.

 

As Louisa took a picture, her eyes brimmed with tears. Theresa watched in wonder… which is when we asked a question of her. “It looks like you painted around this writing to leave it there. How come?”

Her answer was simple. “We thought it was a nice blessing over our house.”

Louisa remembered that year as being up and down, much like the written proverb. But on our tour day, God showed us that his living words had been on her mind, influencing her young life.

Even now, years after we moved away, those words are influencing still.

“Write [God’s words] on the door frames of your houses.” (Deuteronomy 6:9)

The Reveal

It was last Memorial Day when we had our first inkling that a new baby was coming. Linnea had flown from Florida to Michigan to attend her sister Birgitta’s wedding open house. And as we ran errands together, she surprised us with her lovely secret – that another baby would be joining us in January.

Fast-forward to summer when the 26 members of our family were together in Michigan. Linnea’s pregnancy had passed its half way mark, and she and Adam had learned the baby’s gender. Much to our happiness, they wanted to share it with us all. 

We planned a Reveal Party after dinner with a special dessert: a cake with either pink or blue frosting in the middle. Only the two parents knew what was inside.

Throughout the day the 12 grandchildren, ages 10 and under, eagerly anticipated the announcement. Boy or girl? Which team?

As the hours went by, the children shared their hopes with each other… boys rooting for blue frosting, girls for pink. And when the moment came, Linnea cut a plump piece of cake and lifted it to reveal — it was pink!

The girls broke into squeals of delight, the boys stood silent, and the adults got a good chuckle over both responses. But pretty quickly the 12 kids shifted from gender-focus to cake-focus. The rest of us, though, were thankful for a glimpse of what God was doing within Linnea, excited to know a little something about who he was creating.

It was God’s idea to establish 9 months as the time it would take for him to make a baby. Of course he could do this intricate work in an instant, but he chooses to take his time. Maybe it’s similar to the way he formed the first human from clay. I wonder how long he took on that project. My guess is…. 9 months.

These days God still takes his time forming babies inside their mothers. I like to think he enjoys the long, complicated process during that time when only he holds the secrets to who he’s working on.

Fast forward to January and the birth of our May Evangeline. At the time of the Reveal Party, we were thrilled to learn one fact about her: that she would be a girl. Now the whole of her has been revealed, and we know all kinds of things–-her name, the circumstances of her birth, what she looks like, and that she’s easy-going. But just think about how much God knows about her.

He sees her life stretched out from beginning to end and knows every emotion she’ll experience, what she’ll look like as an adult, who her friends will be, what interests she’ll have, whether or not she’ll marry or become a mother, and everything else about her.

But though God sees it all, his Reveal Parties of new information will happen  only one day at a time. He has revealed one long-term fact about little May, though — that he hopes she’ll always trust him to take care of the life he’s given her.  

“It was You who created my inward parts. I was made in secret.” (Psalm 139:13,15)