Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Worth the Wait

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1990Scripture says children are a blessing (Psalm 127:5). I’ve always found that to be true and was excited, from about the age of 12, that one day I might have some of my own. When adulthood finally came, much to my delight, kids came, too, and as predicted, they brought blessings.

They also brought a big surprise — that the joys of being a parent continue even after children become adults.

In all my years of hands-on mothering, no one ever told me about this happy phenomenon. Nobody mentioned that receiving a heart-felt letter of love from a 30-something would trump even the charming artwork of a kindergartener. The loving touch of an adult child is, I believe, one of the parenting “rewards” the Bible promises.

When I was in the thick of full-time mothering with 7 youngsters at home, there were some days when I craved time away from these blessings. But not so with my adult kids.

7 plus 1.

(L. to R. Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Birgitta, me, Hans, Louisa, Nelson

Rather than the energy drain young children can be, time with adult children is more like a filling-up. It gives me great pleasure to sit back at family gatherings and listen to my brood talk together – whether it’s politics, theology, or just reminiscing. There’s something incredibly appealing about listening to and watching them.

And then there are the one-on-one moments when a depth of heart is shared in confidence. Little children are enchanting, and for many reasons I love being around them. But they don’t need friendship from their parents as much as guidance, protection, and teaching. Once they’ve grown up, however, children and their parents have the happy option to just be friends.

I especially enjoy when my adult kids find new ways to say “I love you.” For instance, late one night Louisa decided to make Swedish pancakes — long after I’d gone to bed.

Louisa's pancakeThe next morning, I came downstairs, opened the fridge, and found an “I love you” waiting for me – a pancake with my name on it. (She calls me Midge.) Despite being tired after a long day of work and errands, Louisa had thought kindly of her old mama, reaching out as a loving friend. Though the pancake was yummy, far more delicious was the connection she’d taken time to make.

As I gain in years, I know the relationships with my adult children will continue to be important. And another thing I’ve learned for sure: Children truly do bring blessing…. all the way along.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

A Thousand Words

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Getting marriedIts been 3 whirlwind weeks for the Nyman clan, and if my mom was still around, she’d have labeled it all “happy chaos.”

Louisa and Teddy’s wedding day arrived at last, after a 15-month engagement. The ceremony was joy-filled and rewarding as Pastor Nelson married them, and our entire family of 26 attended…. all except Nate, of course, who was deeply missed.

 

 

Nate...

 

But the wedding took place on his birthday (8/18/18), and he was honored during the ceremony and also at the reception – which helped.

In the 9 years since his death, life has expanded to include 14 new family members, none of whom ever met Nate. So we forge ahead, embracing these new relationships while still taking pleasure in the old.

My one wish for the time we had together (other than witnessing the wedding) was to have a family photo taken. Because our children live all over the globe, the Nyman gang hasn’t been in the same place at the same time for 4 years. So this, to me, was an opportunity not to be missed.

The wedding photographer was available the morning after, and even the bride and groom were willing to rise early on their first day as Mr. and Mrs. (They’d already postponed their honeymoon to “hang” with family.)

“And where,” said the photographer, “will this photo session be?”

Where else but the beach.

Back in May, I crafted an email to my 7 children and their spouses with my picture request…. hoping they weren’t rolling their eyes across cyberspace. But after reading of my longing, their responses were kind. Even enthusiastic.

“So,” I wrote, “we’ll get up early the morning after the wedding and meet at the beach — wearing T-shirts color-coded by family. I’ll provide the shirts and the brunch afterwards.”

Though some were skeptical about the shirt idea, they knew there was no fighting it. And as these colorful shirts began arriving in my mail, I tried to keep expectations realistic…. but prayed for good weather and 12 cooperative grandchildren.

God graciously gave me the desire of my heart, a picture with everyone present and sunshine as a backdrop. I’ll be forever grateful to Him, and to the family I love – including Nate, who took a chance on me 50 years ago, which resulted in this:

Nyman Family-8.

 

“The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” (Psalm 33:11)

Beach Bums No More (…conclusion)

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When Scripture describes the Lord as “God of all comfort,” what does it mean? Isn’t it true that when we need comforting, we can get it from many sources? It can come through friends, family members, sermons, books, magazines, a tasty meal, even just a good night’s sleep.

A more accurate way to think about the God of all comfort is to recognize he’s the only One with access to ALL comfort, i.e. all kinds of comfort. His soothing touch can come in a thousand ways, but there’s never any “Whoops. I should have tried something else.”

A case in point was when I was newly crushed after losing my long-term beach buddy, sister Mary (preceding post). Unbeknownst to me, it was several years earlier that God had set up gentle comfort for me during this time.

Beach walkwayBack in 2013, our home association began building a sturdy walkway and deck leading from a small, sandy parking lot to the beach.

As Mary and I arrived one day, workmen were digging deep, round holes to establish strong pilings that would hold up the walkway. After digging the holes, they put in plump, white pipe-like forms resembling giant versions of what’s under a kitchen sink. Each was 12″ in diameter.

Next they stood hefty wooden 6” X 6” posts inside the “pipes” and poured in concrete for stability. As Mary and I left the beach that day, the crew had just finished, and she couldn’t resist the wet concrete. “Hey,” she said, “let’s leave a fingerprint.”

Walkway supportMary bent over the first post and firmly pressed in her right thumb, making a mark that only she could.

In the weeks that followed, the walkway was completed, and neither of us mentioned “her impression” again. We actually forgot about it, but of course God didn’t. Instead he filed it under “All comfort,” saving it for use three years hence.

*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

Sunset buddies

 

The day finally came when Mary and I sat side-by-side at the beach for the last time. She talked about what was just ahead for her, with terminal cancer. “I hope I don’t die during the summer. That would be hard. September or October would be the best time.”

God gave her that wish. She died in September of 2016.

After that, it was difficult to think of being alone on the sand without my beach buddy, but eventually I did go back. Sitting in that peaceful place, though, where she and I had shared 70 summers, was painful.

A markThat was the moment when God dipped into his file of “All Comfort” and eased my grief with one sweet thought. He reminded me of Mary’s permanent mark on this cherished place, still there where she put it – a small thing, but it brought big comfort on that hard day.

Though God had access to all kinds of comfort-choices, he picked the one that worked.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3)