Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Newlywed Love (#117)

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November 7-9, 1970

Nate and I were getting along great, so thankful to be married and living together.

Friends in VietnamOccasionally we’d watch the news coverage of Vietnam and grow agitated about Nate’s future with the military. Three friends overseas had actually sent us pictures, showing how radi- cally different their lives were from ours. Had Nate not joined ROTC, however, he would have been drafted and most likely located in Vietnam by now. Life in the reserves for the next few years would always be better than that.

A quick trip to the Chicago area reunited us with baby Luke as he approached his one month birthday, and also with our “baby” Baron – who wasn’t really ours anymore.

David, Baron, and Tom

When Mom broke her arm and had to wear a bulky cast for six weeks, Baron had taken up full-time residence with my brother’s friend David. Baron and David loved each other with abandon.

We still got to spend time with this special doggie, though, since Mom kindly invited him (and David) to many of our family gatherings.

 

Our two babiesBaron was keenly interested in baby Luke, and as always, he was a delight to watch. But we had fully accepted that our lives were too fluid to include a pet, especially one as time-intensive as a dog. With David, Baron now had a back yard where he could run, along with a dog-loving family that lavished attention on him. It was a good fit.

After seeing Baron and Luke, Nate and I also squeezed in a quick trip to spend 24 hours with his parents. Lois cooked a Thanksgiving dinner, since our Thanksgiving would be spent in Champaign with my side of the family.

She also gave me a wonderful gift during our visit. After watching her pull out a box of old photographs, I got my first look at Nate as a child. It was heart-warming when she said, “Would you like to take some of these home with you?”

Kindergartener

One photo completely charmed me. Little Nathan, as his family called him, was sitting on a trike at about kindergarten-age. It illustrated the get-up-and-go his parents frequently talked about in reference to his childhood.

His firm grip on the handlebars, his bright eyes and big smile, and his badly-skinned knee were indicative of a lively, determined little boy.

As soon as we got back to Champaign, I framed the photo for our bedroom wall. Looking at it brought me sweet pleasure, making me wonder if we’d ever have children of our own. And if we did, would they look like this little guy? I hoped so.

Meanwhile, I would have to be content exercising my love for children through 28 kindergarteners and baby Luke. But those opportunities were OK by me.

“Out of the mouths of babes… you [Lord] have ordained strength.” (Psalm 8:2)

Newlywed Love (#114)

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November 1, 1970

Today the delectable smell of chocolate filled the air as Cathy and I made our first attempt at dipping candy in her kitchen. Though failures outnumbered successes when we began, each of those lopsided pieces was thoroughly enjoyed — because we ate them all.

Dipping candiesEventually we got the hang of it, learning exactly how hot the dip should be so the chocolate would go on not-too-thick, not-too-thin. And we left our balls of crème centers in the refrigerator till the last minute when the chocolate was ready.

Quite a few pieces ended up at the  bottom of our dipping pan, but Cathy’s husband John volunteered to fish them out  –  then made quick work of them. We did grab a few, however, for me to take home to Nate.

By 1:00 AM we were looking at nearly 200 pieces of finished chocolate candy. Some were dark, some white, and some milk chocolate. All in all, we were both pleased – with the candy and also with each other.

In Cathy's kitchenCathy and I were doing well in building our friendship, and on this night, she helped me make an important decision – about a possible masters degree.

Cathy was part way through her own masters program at the University of Illinois and said, “Grad school is nothing like undergrad. Students are left on their own a lot, so that means less boring time in class. Mostly you just work at your own pace.”

That sounded pretty good.

As we continued to dip and talk, she said, “Why don’t you just apply? After all… what could it hurt?”

There were those same words Nate had used, and by the time I climbed the stairs at home, I’d made the decision. Nate was delighted to hear it and encouraged me to call Dad the following day to see what he thought. “He might be willing to go to Northwestern to pick up an application for you.” *

And so, Nate and I moved one step closer to defining our vague future. When we finally headed for bed, he watched me find a note he’d pinned to my pillow with a simple but precious message: I missed you.

Note from NateWhat a pleasure it was to be married to Nate.

“Love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” (Romans 13:10)

* 7 miles from his home

Newlywed Love (#113)

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October 29-31, 1970

Halloween was upon us. Though we doubted trick ‘r treaters would climb to the 3rd floor, Nate and I bought a little candy, just in case. We also chose two pumpkins – one plump, the other tall. Carving them on the kitchen floor, we had as much fun as if we’d been grade-school kids.

Rounmd amd plumpTall and skinny

 

 

 

 

 

Afterwards we lit them up with a couple of old candle stubs and set them on the fireplace hearth where they seemed to decorate the whole room. The two of us sat in the dusky pumpkin-light for a long time, talking about future decisions.

That’s when Nate said something completely unexpected. “Have you ever thought about getting a masters degree?”

This came out of nowhere. “What do you mean?” I said. “A masters in what? And where? And how would we pay for it? And what about my brain? Doesn’t it belong in a kindergarten room?”

None of that stopped him. “Depending on what the Army does with me, it won’t be long till I’ll be supporting us both. And since Chicago is no longer hiring provisional teachers, maybe you should just go back to school.”

This was spoken by someone who loved being a student. I’d made only average grades in college and had never once experienced a rush of joy at opening a fresh textbook or reading a new syllabus.

“You could study writing,” he said. “Just think how much fun it would be to learn more about what you already love.”

He had a point. I’d been trying to sell some of my writing in recent weeks without any success, so learning more might help. “But could I even get in?”

Medill.“It couldn’t hurt to try,” he said. “And if we end up in the Chicago area, you could go to Medill, the journalism school at North- western.”

“Oh sure,” I said. “I’d never get in there.”

But as the jack ‘o lantern candles burned down and finally flickered out, I felt a little flicker of enthusiasm inside – about the school idea. Nate was right. It couldn’t hurt to try.

The next morning my kindergarteners came to class in costumes, and we set aside our regular schedule to party and to participate in the all-school Halloween parade. Many of the parents joined us, bringing extra treats, so the kids were sufficiently sugar-saturated by the end of the day.

Around 5:00 PM, I trudged up the steps to our apartment where Nate greeted me with kisses and questions. “How were the parties? What about the parade? Did the kids say anything funny today?”

“The whole day was a delight,” I said, “but I’m really tired. I didn’t expect so many parents, each one asking how their student was doing in school. I couldn’t remember who was whose mother or what each child had learned. It was stressful! We made it, though, and they all left happy. I’m just glad the weekend’s here!”

Nate’s weekend would be spent studying… but I would be happily dipping chocolate candy.

”Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)