Newlywed Love (#6)

December 15, 1969

GiftsAs the days passed toward our one month anniversary, it was time to get serious about writing thank you notes. The task was daunting, and in 1969, tradition dictated that the bride wrote them all. I loved to write and didn’t have trouble saying what my heart was feeling, but several hundred of them? Overwhelming.

Nate encouraged me to write 5 each evening, starting at the beginning of our gift record book and proceeding straight through. “Maybe on the weekends you could write a few more than that,” he said. “And then they’d all be done by the end of March.”

Keeping up that kind of steady pace sounded like a test of self-discipline I didn’t have, but I set up a little “writing corner” on a metal TV tray in our still-sparse apartment – a pen, note cards, and our record book.

Note cardsWhen we’d ordered the wedding invitations, we’d also requested note cards with our married title on the front, and envelopes to match. So as I opened the first one to begin writing, I got sweet encouragement by reading that lovely new identification: Mr. and Mrs. Willard Nathan Nyman. Looking at that over and over would spur me on.

One side benefit of writing thank you’s was the regular conversations I had with Mom when I called for addresses. She encouraged me to go at it with enthusiasm, although she added some healthy pressure. “People were very generous to you and Nathan,” she said, “so try to be generous with your words as you write. Make each note card very personal.”

And so I began…. but by the end of the first week, I had already fallen behind. After a long day of teaching with an hour commute at each end, the higher priority for my evenings was to spend time with my new husband. He, too, wanted to be together “to play a little” after a day of high stress.

Also, I was still figuring out how to cook, and after we’d eaten a minimal dinner, we’d often take a long walk around the neighborhood. Holding hands as we went, we’d dream out loud about some distant day when we might own a house like the ones we passed as we walked.

Neighborhood.

Pointing to an English Tudor I’d say, “That’ll be my house.” He preferred a saltbox colonial or anything else with symmetry. Talking about owning a home some day and a togetherness that stretched that far into the future warmed me in some hidden place deep inside, and both of us felt a gentle peace in knowing we’d always be together.

“In all toil there is profit.” (Proverbs 14:23)

Newlywed Love (#5)

December 13, 1969

After my second day back at school, Nate and I had something special to write on our wall calendar – our first social engagement as husband and wife.

Principal Scarce and meMr. Scarce, our McKinley School principal, had come to my classroom asking if the two of us would come to his home the following weekend for a multi-purpose party: to celebrate our wedding and also the Christmas season. All 7 teachers would be invited, and he hinted there might be a “roast.” It was easy to guess who. (Right: Principal Scarce and me)

More than happy to keep the wedding celebration going, Nate and I accepted. When party day arrived, it was extra special because my carpool buddies Judy and Linda were there, too, along with their husbands. All of us were newlyweds enjoying our first year of marriage.

It seemed odd to be driving the 40 miles to Danville on a Saturday evening, but we were proud to have our men along and eager to introduce them to our work cronies.

Scarce partyAs soon as we arrived, Mr. Scarce pinned a gauzy curtain to my hair. He had a little trouble, since I was wearing a wig. (Nate and I had decided to grow our hair for a while  – he a mustache and me a longer ‘do. His ‘stache was coming along nicely, but every day was a bad-hair day for me.)

“After we eat,” Mr. Scarce said, “we’re going to have a mock wedding.” (Above, Linda and Ron behind us.)

Although the roasting part of the ceremony was a bit racy, I reminded myself we weren’t in church. Part of it was a summary of the bride’s qualifications for marriage, including her ability to ditch teacher training days (…apparently forgiven but not forgotten).

Scarce party.At the end of it, Mr. Scarce presented us with a fake marriage license, pretending to be shocked as he announced we weren’t really married after all, because of an error on the license. We played along, always mindful that our host was also my boss.

The evening was a success, and I was grateful to be back in the good graces of our principal… sort of. I knew I was going to search for a new school the following year where I might be able to teach kindergarten again, and no doubt he wouldn’t like that. But a good recommendation would be critical.

Although Danville hadn’t required me to attend adult education classes in order to continue teaching, I still wasn’t officially certified. If the need for “provisional” teachers disappeared, I’d be out the door —  which would mean financial ruin for Nate and I. As he attended law school, my small paycheck was our sole support. With loving families behind us, we knew we’d never starve, but we wanted very much to do life on our own.

“The Lord is your keeper… He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in.” (Psalm 121:5,7,8)

Newlywed Love (#3)

December 3, 1969

LeavingAll too soon our honeymoon was over, and it was time to leave The Drake. We packed up, then stood together and looked around our room, promising never to forget all the happiness we’d known during our brief stay. The bell boy came to help us out, and I left the hotel just as I’d entered, carrying the giant bundle of my rolled up wedding gown and veil with the crown on top.

Nate went to retrieve his VW from the underground garage where it had been hiding for a week, and we loaded up. On a lark we decided to drive north to Wilmette before heading south to our apartment. Mom and Dad would be at Wednesday night prayer meeting, and we wanted to leave a surprise.

As we came in the kitchen door, I saw Mom’s diary open on the table with a note revealing how truly draining our wedding prep had been for her. On Sunday, the day after, she’d written, “Wondered if I could get thru Sunday – was bushed! Brot flowers home – some to ill folk.”

Mom's diary

Even in her depleted condition, she’d taken time to divide the wedding flowers and drive them to various nursing homes, passing out bouquets to shut-ins.

Mom rallied quickly after that. On Monday she’d written, “All the pressures are gone! And now Christmas music descends!”

Lawrence WelkI had no trouble picturing her making multiple trips to the airport to deposit out-of-town relatives but then heading home to her 33 rpm Christmas records cranked on high volume – Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller.

Glad to see all was well on the home front, Nate and I took a minute to spread my wedding gown and veil (with crown) on their freshly-carpeted living room floor. Tucking our thank you letters into my white shoes, we placed them neatly at the bottom alongside our gifts for them – then joyfully pointed our car toward Champaign.

When we got there it was late, but we bounded up to our 3rd floor “nest” like a couple of teenagers, anxious to get going on real married life. Nate carried me across the threshold, and then we readied for sleep. Though we didn’t yet have a bedroom set, it didn’t matter. We could spend the night together on the Murphy with no fear of “getting caught” doing something we shouldn’t.

The MurphySitting on the edge of the pull-down bed, Nate wrapped his arms around me, and we talked about all that had happened in the week since we’d left our apartment. “Why don’t we pray?” he said. After voicing a long list of blessings, he thanked God for each one…. and spent several extra minutes thanking God for me.

And then we turned out the light.

“Let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.” (Hebrews 13:15)