Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Young Love (#73)

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July 28-30, 1969

It was the end of July, and our days were crowded with moving tasks as we raced to beat the arrival of the moving van. An orderly transition was complicated by the fact that Mom and Dad’s new, smaller home needed redecorating… and kitchen remodeling… before they could settle in. Though we were gradually filling the rooms with boxes and furniture, nothing would be put in order until much later.

Sale dayMom kept her emotions at bay as she directed traffic in emptying the house. She hadn’t expected the sale to happen so fast, which is evident in her journal. Two months previously, on the day the house sold, she did some positive self-talking. “We know God led in this, every step of the way. With the added time, strength, and money, may it all be to His glory.”

She referred to selling “the house” but not “our home.” Mom believed the old adage, “Home is where the heart is,” and was hoping her heart would quickly catch up to her change of address. And then she wrote,

“Change and decay in all around we see.

Oh Thou who changeth not, abide with me (us).”

The folksMom knew she would eventually adjust to the change, but it was going to take time. Meanwhile, moving day was difficult. Ever the gregarious hostess, she had made friends with the new buyers before it was time to turn over the keys, and in the two months between contract-signing and possession, she’d invited them over repeatedly — for lemonade in the yard, for lunch in the dining room, to take measurements, and to snap pictures of what would soon be their home. I think Mom literally wanted to keep her foot in the door.

The day before the move, Mom had no time to make journal notes except to write, “Feverishly working!”

That evening our next-door-neighbors invited all of us over to their place for a nourishing dinner with all the trimmings, giving us a chance to reminisce about our happy history as neighbors. And when the moving van pulled in the next morning, we were ready.

All except Mom.

Moving Day.

Movers loaded the truck all morning and then pulled away toward the smaller house on the other side of town. Most of us followed to supervise the move-in, but Mom and Dad lingered at the old place, ostensibly to clean. She wrote in her journal, “We depart, sorrowfully, 708 [our address], but with grateful hearts for the hours spent here. This, and all our homes, are gifts from God.”

Sorrowful

Those of us at the new house thought it best to stay there till they arrived. While we waited, we made a brightly colored poster with a big, cheerful “WELCOME HOME!” on it. But when midnight came and they still hadn’t appeared, we began to worry.

“There is a time for every matter under heaven… a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

Young Love (#72)

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July 25 – 27, 1969:

After Nate’s graduation, the 8-hour drive together to his parents’ home was pure pleasure. As he drove, I studied my handsome groom, tanned and muscular after his hard physical weeks under the Army’s tutelage. He had never looked better, and my eyes drank him in.

Main St.Throughout the weekend with his parents, we shared gourmet meals lovingly made by his mother, and talked about wedding plans. Nate and I took late-night walks around his old neighborhood, strolling hand-in-hand with frequent stops to give and receive more of those stored-up kisses. It was fun to hear stories of his childhood, and I could easily picture him biking down Main Street with his grade school buddies.

PackingToward the close of the weekend, we were back in the car driving the 4 hours to Wilmette where a massive clean-up was under way after my folks’ garage sale. Their moving date was 3 days hence, and the last big push to empty their home was at hand.

Nate and I had begged out of our first counseling week at the church camp to help Mom and Dad, and it’s a good thing we did. They needed all hands on deck. After working non-stop for many weeks readying the house, both of them were depleted, carrying on by grit alone.

LoadingThe peaceful calm of Nate’s home evaporated as we joined forces with Mom, Dad, Mary, Bervin, and brother Tom, sorting, lifting, hauling, shoving, and driving load after load to other locations. In the process, Nate and I inherited a small apartment-sized stove, for which we were grateful. It was stored at the next-door-neighbors’ house, since we hadn’t yet looked for an apartment in Champaign.

In retrospect, I can hardly believe we had insisted on a big wedding so close to my parents’ big move. The word “selfish” springs to mind. Today I am the age my father was when this unfolded, and just reading about it makes me tired. I’m grateful their double duty didn’t swamp them completely. That move was difficult for them in every way.

They were leaving a home that had been the place where my brother, sister, and I had grown from children into adults. It’s where all of our youthful dates originated and where our teenage pals hung out, day… and night. It’s where Mom produced hundreds of dinners, parties, and celebrations, happily including our friends in whatever was happening. It’s where Dad walked out the front door every morning to his office in the Loop and walked back in every night at 6:15 to Mom’s squeals of delight and her kisses. And it’s where he finally retired at the age of 70.

In addition to the move and the wedding, Mom’s 3 children were all stepping into new lives, leaving a mother who’d loved every minute of parenting them and had no interest in an empty nest. (None of us have a single memory of her ever saying no.) She had wanted a dozen kids, but when that couldn’t happen, she told us she’d just had the 3 best instead.

Mary and Bervin at front doorAnd we all knew that when moving day came, for these reasons and many others, Mom would struggle to walk out the door.

“This is what the Lord says – Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Young Love (#69)

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In 1969, greeting card companies came out with a line of tall, narrow contemporary cards focused on soldiers, military life, and the loved ones at home. Each card cost 25 cents, much pricier than plain paper, so Nate and I didn’t often send them to each other.

But in one last blast of letters to hit the “Nyman mail call” at Ft. Riley, I sent 10 contemporary cards, writing my personal messages on the backs and sometimes all around the drawings inside. I wanted Company B to know that Cadet Nyman was loved a whole lot!

10 letters

Soon Nate and I would be communicating face-to-face, and though I was overjoyed at the prospect, I felt a twinge of sadness at discontinuing the back-and-forth written record of our romance. Writing to each other had been a special joy during this unique season of our relationship.

July 22, 1969 – Dearest Meg, Fiancée, future Wife, Lover, Mother. I have prayed about the upcoming year in law school, your teaching there, and for all the wedding arrangements we’ll make in August. Worry and frustration are signs of the carnal man. Having both prayed about our problems, we shouldn’t worry. I don’t feel upset about them after prayer. I know the Lord will take good care of us. I am praying about this every day.

Prayer

July 22, 1969 – Dear Nate. Our friends Carole and Reggie are on the way to my apartment as I write, to deliver my bridesmaid gown to wear in their wedding. It will be great to see them again! So that means you’ll be standing up in one wedding, and I’ll be in another – both in August. I’m wondering how we’re going to get all these days off from our counseling at the camp. The director isn’t going to be very happy about me asking for two additional days now, one for the rehearsal and one for the wedding. Well, as Doris Day sings, what will be will be.

July 21, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Tuesday night I am making a special prayer at about “lights out” time here, 10:00. Will you join me? Let’s pray at the same time about the same subjects, committing all our uncertainties to the Lord. Just 3 more days, Sweetheart. Get rested up and ready to receive an hour of hugs and kisses!

BusJuly 22, 1969 – Dear Nate. Tomorrow evening I’ll be climbing on a Greyhound bus to come to you! I’ve decided to arrive early on the day before your graduation to make sure I get there in case your commanding officer gives you extra off-base time at the last minute. I’ll be leaving Chicago on a 7:30 PM bus bound for St. Louis on July 23. In St. Louis I’ll transfer to another bus (4:30 AM, July 24), and from there will go directly to Manhattan, arriving at 10:00 AM that morning. If I can’t see you until Friday the 25th, don’t worry. I’ll be at the Holiday Inn and will be fine.

July 22, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Two more days! Hugging and kissing you will be my dream come true! I’ve made many new friends here at Ft. Riley and have determined that all servicemen need Christ. Though our suffering is little compared to His sacrifice, soldiers need faith in Him to preserve their sanity – and their place in eternity. A Christ-filled life enables a person to withstand great privation and hardship. And the Lord takes care of His own.

“I write to you, dear children, because you know the Father… I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome…” (1 John 2:14)