Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Nelson’s journal 2/7/2

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God is teaching Nelson flexibility in regard to making plans for the future. In this journal entry he’s bringing the past into the present, acknowledging that the Lord has led him through past years and would most likely lead him into the future. In a sense he’s reassuring himself that whatever he decides about the electrician’s job proposal (which he refers to as being “boxed in”), God will let him know what the best decision will be.

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February 7, 2022

I’m thinking about a new MacBook. Annso has been saying to do it for some time now. I’ve had this one for 10 years. It’s been that long since I was in the Titus project out in Montana, 2012.

I keep coming back to Hawaii and here we are now, all this time later. Ecclesiastes says, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

We are in less control than we think. We move here and there, but really, God moves us or allows us to be moved around to suit the way he ordained for us. We can’t know the future, which is better for us anyway.

Lord, since you know already where we’ll go and what we’ll end up doing, I pray for the ability to wait on you instead of getting ahead or lagging behind. We want your best, Lord. As much fear as I can have about getting stuck or boxed in by new rules, I know you know…. and I’m grateful for that. 

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“In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:3)

Nelson’s Journal, 1/28/22

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Nelson continues his fast-paced work with YWAM where no two days are alike, while pondering what life would be like with a 9:00-5:00 job. Would he feel tied down? Would it mean putting permanent roots down in far-away Hawaii? Could he successfully become an electrician? Would this be the best for his family?

While searching for answers, he journaled a prayer, asking God what he should do.

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January 28, 2022

I am super grateful for what you, Lord, have brought us through last year. I read 2 books, the American Pilgrim and the Bitcoin Standard. Annso and I have the best marriage I could imagine. She has the best views on most things, and we think of one mind on many things.

She bought for me the book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I listened to the podcast of it a while back, and there’s probably no book that could apply to me more. I am trying and seeing if a job for Tim [electrician] will work. Might be a step in the right direction.

Our time in Kokua Crew is coming to an end I feel. There is so much hurry and urgency, which is good for a season, but, like many things, it’s not meant to last a lifetime.

Lord, I pray you would show me the way today, the way to speak to Tim about the potential job, that I can really act and pray like it’s totally up to you and I don’t have a horse in the race. I only want what’s the best for my family and where you are leading.

Thank you for leading us so well up until this point. You know my desire to have a trade and something I am really good at, something with a certification that I really know and people are willing to pay me to do.

I’m starting to read the book Annso gave me, and it talks about a fork in the road, taking the one less traveled. He brings his core leadership into a room and says, “I resign.”

For me, with YWAM, with Kokua Crew, and grounds, it’s the right move. Not sure about working as an electrician, but it seems to be the right way… less spotlight, less meetings. Resignation sounds good, actually.

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“Be transformed…that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Nelson’s Journal, Entry #5

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On this day one year ago, Nelson already had lung cancer but didn’t know it. He was happy, living in Kona, Hawaii, while working hard with Youth With A Mission and tending to his pastoring responsibilities. After a past that had included some dark periods, he was counting his blessings.

We know, looking back, that his darkest days were just around the corner. But a year ago, he was facing forward, with joy.

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January 23, 2022

Sunday night.

Jimmy preached. Annso and I took a van with six passengers. Good service. I led the prayer time.

You can live somewhere thinking you’ll leave any time, for whatever reason, then 20 years go by. That’s what this place feels like. I can’t believe Annso is even here with me. The fact that she walked away from her career to come and be with me still seems like a dream, but it’s real.

I don’t journal much because journaling is about reflecting and writing thoughts down, and this season is more about blowing and going and, to be honest, I’d rather me do that than sit around reflecting on everything all the time. I’ve spent more than my share of time doing that, especially since sobriety started in 2006. Hard to believe it’s been almost 16 years since I’ve been a drinker. Just amazing.

Tanner and I talked about the rapture tonight, and I don’t really even like to talk about that stuff. It’s all speculation anyway, and I feel like dying and being raptured are the same. We should always be prepared for either/or.

I swam a mile today, as I do a few times a week. Nothing like a blowout where you really feel tired at the end of it. No energy to worry or stress about anything.

I came back and worked on my Dodge truck. I am happy for this season. I don’t know how it could get much better, and part of me doesn’t want it to change. But still, I want to be led by God.

Lord, I pray you would lead us and help us to be in the right place at the right time with our little guy. Thank you for the bond we have together and how well we get along.

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“He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” (Psalm 107:9)