Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Young Love (#28)

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Letters continued to fly back and forth between Champaign and Chicago, and the joy of making together-plans dominated our written conversations and my journal entries.

From the journal:

I have gained all kinds of new respect for Nate and want to be with him more and more. I’m sure of my love for him and secure in his love for me. He is the finest boy I’ve ever dated. He’s a leader, is organized, is a go-getter, a Christian, an intellectual, a good communicator, and he touches tenderly. He thrives under pressure and is completely responsible. I love all of it!

We’ve begun talking in specifics about rings, dates, jobs, where to live. Boy, is it fun! We’re praying about everything. We know that if we ever forget the Lord, we’ll mess the whole thing up.

May 7, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I received your wonderful letter of Sunday. Good girl to write, but not in church. [My last letter had been written in church.] Thank you very much! You want to be my wife, and that’s exactly who I want to fill the position. I love you very much; writing is a poor surrogate for seeing, but writing you daily gives me some release of the tension of not being with you. This week I’m thinking back to last week, remembering what we were doing at the same time, and almost get sick that you’re not with me. I could hug and squeeze you!

position-filledMay 7, 1969 – Dear Nate. One of my roommates told me that while I was gone last week someone tried to break into our apartment via that rear door in our bedroom. It sounded like they had a key. And it happened twice! We’re trying to think up some logical, harmless explanation.

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What about that break-in? Watch out if it really was an attempted break-in. Most burglars are drug addicts (80%). Look for pry marks near the lock. Tell your landlord. Tell the police. Get a chain and bolt for the door. As for me, I’ll finish that nasty old Corporations paper by Friday night and then it’ll be the final drive for finals study. I love you very much and would love if we were formally engaged at Christmas and married by next August. We should look into you teaching here after we’re married… and where to take the honeymoon!

May 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. I love you so very much, and today especially have been thinking constantly about being married to you, being your wife, and how I want to wait on you, and to begin finding out all the depths and heights of you, my husband. I’m so lucky!

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I hope to finish writing my paper today and then check it over tomorrow. I’m not such a hot “would-be lawyer” (i.e. law student) but I have faith the Lord will get me through school and the bar exam. Actually I don’t mind law school or law exams, but I really dislike papers. Anyhow, this one will soon be done.

sooo-muchMay 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. My heart is beating fast, and my stomach has butterflies. The idea of marriage to you is hitting home, and it’s the most pleasant of thoughts! I’m going to love and love and love you, day after day after day. I love Nate. Oh to be with you now. Soooo much to talk of!        Love, love, Meg

May 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you so much and want to be with you and marry you. You are my beautiful one, the only woman in my life. I will work hard to take good care of you. I love you completely and hope that faith in Christ will help me keep all the vows of marriage and keep us in unity with Jesus.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Young Love (#22)

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After I signed off with my church guy-friend, a sense of sadness set in. I looked back fondly over 7 years of dating and felt a sharp sense of loss. Now that I was closing in on an all-out commitment to Nate, I knew that playing the dating game would have to be a thing of the past. And I wasn’t at all sure I wanted it to end.

In quiet moments I began reminiscing about the fun I’d had with dozens of wonderful guys over the years, enjoying the pursuit and the catch as much as the dates themselves. Although I believed I was gradually falling in love with Nate, the idea of marriage sounded too serious too soon. My letters to him did continue to be affirming, but it was almost like I was preaching to myself: “Grow up, Margaret! Saying yes to one wonderful person means saying no to many others. It’ll be OK.”

chocolate-bunnyMar. 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are so patient, considerate, and kind to me. I’m glad I’m getting to know the “real you” more and more. This past weekend was beautiful. Time spent with you is always well-planned. Thank you for the things we did, for the meal with your parents, and for the Fannie May chocolate bunny! My 3 roommates and I just finished him off.

Mar. 23, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The weekend was great! My parents really loved you. “A very sweet and pretty girl,” they said. They think we’re “a nice-looking couple” and are eager for your visit to their house during spring break. Thank you for staying over Saturday night. Without that we would have had no privacy for prayer and other activity. You’re so sweet when you’re tired and sleepy. I’ll call you about our spring break plans, probably at the usual erratic hour. My apologies to you and your roomies, whoever I may awaken.

george-sweetingMar. 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Pastor Sweeting was excellent this week. He said we can’t be successful in life without following the steps God has in mind for us. Either extreme — being fearful or having too much self-confidence —  can make us stray from His way. You and I need to be careful in making any plans, not to fool ourselves. We want to be successful in our relationship, and I hope everything will work out well.

Mar. 24, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It’s gray and rainy here, which makes excellent dreaming weather. I sit in class, Evidence in Constitutional Law, but the subject is: Johnson, Meg. She occupies my thoughts while I’m awake and my dreams as I sleep. Meg, I love you.

Mar. 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Two letters from you today, both good ones. I appreciate it when you pen your thoughts as they flow naturally out of you, whether deep or casual. Thank you for your honesty. I’m trying to be honest in return. I’m looking forward to the end of this evening ed course I’m taking, but have made lots of friends in this class. We’ve bonded by thinking the whole course is rinky-dink, a waste of 3 hours two evenings a week. We’re all there only to fulfill requirements for the state.

Mar. 25, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Talking to you on the phone yesterday was a fabulous treat! It made the whole day go better. I get more studying done after I’ve “spent time with” you. I’m eagerly looking forward to our week together, both at your folks’ home and mine. All the logistics will come together fine. Don’t worry.

“Love is kind,” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Young Love (#21)

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relaxedAlthough my old boyfriend was still popping up here and there, Nate chose to believe that “his Meg” had drawn a line in the sand and wouldn’t cross it. My words said so, and he embraced it with all his heart. Though I wasn’t ready to say yes to an engagement and the marriage that would follow, he was convinced it would happen… eventually.

As for my church friend and our continued dates, my journal told the tale:

Although he and I always have great times when we’re together, it probably isn’t fair to keep the relationship going. He’s drawn to me, but feeling a little uneasy about it. I’m drawn to him but feel a little guilty about it. Nate knows about him, but he doesn’t know about Nate. None of that seems right.

I decided to let the relationship slowly dwindle by being unavailable, though I knew that might be painful for both of us. But as I began that process, God took care of the rest. My friend decided on his own that we ought to take a break. On our last date as we talked about this, I felt a twinge of sadness – but I knew it was the right thing to do. It also meant turning full-face toward Nate, no holds barred.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your wonderful letters to me have all meant so much. You are faithful in writing, and I love each one. For example, last night I came in very late for a weeknight (2:00 AM) with my arms loaded with junk, very tired, dirty, and longing for sleep. And the first thing that greeted me was 2 ivory-colored letters from Champaign. I threw all my bundles down and ripped open the letters, reading them both twice and wishing I could call you. You made me feel so loved at that moment. What woman wouldn’t like that? I always feel good after reading what you write to me.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Meg. My prayer list, which has many items, includes a prayer thanking the Lord that I fell in love with a Christian woman. You have a very healthy outlook on life, and I find myself really needing you. I love you.

cool-carMar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m very much looking forward to meeting your folks this Saturday. But oh boy, am I nervous. I’m even breaking out in pimples. But hopefully it’ll be a lot of fun, too. And some negative news: I put a big dent in the bumper of my fabulous Corvette while doing a swift parallel parking job this morning. Drat.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your phone call at midnight last night was the highlight of my day! I was so exhausted that I had come in at about 8:00 PM and plunked down on my bed for a quick nap. The list of what I needed to do in the evening was long, but I actually woke up with your call! After we said goodbye, I went right back to sleep and slept through. Ahhh. This morning I feel fantastic… with enough energy for lots of extra kisses, if you were a little closer than Champaign! See you at 10:00 AM Saturday with an expectant, enthusiastic smile. I’m looking forward to meeting your folks, but not half as much as I’m looking forward to seeing you.   Love to you, Meg

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Meg. I cannot wait until the morning. There is a special feeling within me when I know I will see you in a few hours: a kind of happy anxiety. I love you very much. If you accept me by fall, an engagement then until the following summer will allow us to be absolutely certain.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ll probably see you before you get this, but it’ll be nice to get a letter after I’m gone. I always love to come home to a letter from you. It makes it easier to accept the departure when I know your greeting is waiting. My parents are looking forward to spending time with you 2 weeks from now. We’ll have lots of fun when you come. You can take my newly-tuned Corvette for a fast spin. I won’t be taking too many fast spins for a while, at least not till I get back down to 1 traffic ticket again.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)