Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Young Love (#20)

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Nate’s salutations moved from “Dear Meg” to “Dearest Meg,” and his patience always seemed to increase to meet the need for it. If he suffered from moments of frustration over my reluctance to say I loved him, he never let it show.

And then, when he least expected it, the fog of my immature confusion lifted, and at long last… love arrived.

dearest-megMar. 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you. This weekend was lonely and sad without you. I’ve gone to two movies with my men and a staff party with the head resident and his wife to try to keep my mind off you. But no luck… I think of you constantly. When I look at clothing ads in the New Yorker, I imagine you in the clothes. You’re a beautiful woman with intelligence and taste. I am really looking forward to this weekend! But don’t worry. There is no pressure.

Mar. 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. When you call your kindergarten children “kidlets,” that is very sweet. We can one day fill our apartment with their mobiles, paintings, etc. Good luck on your diet. I am proud of you for always seeking to improve an excellent thing. I have to try hard to measure up to you.

love-maybeMar. 16, 1969 – Dear Nate. Life seems to be one set of confusing circumstances following another. I’ve missed you terribly over the weekend and thought about you constantly. I think I’m in love with you, Nate. Who knows yet if this is the love a marriage must be based upon, but I do think I love you.     Meg.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The letter you wrote Sunday midnight puts me in a soaring, joyous frame of mind! And it makes me think of you all day, while doing everything! Each time I get in the car, I almost walk around to open the other door for you, wanting so much for you to be here. Does it sound like I’m deeply in love? Either that or insane! I think it’s the former. I love you!

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The weather here is fabulous! I hope it holds for the weekend. After dinner with my parents, I want to take you on a drive out into the country again, for a long walk. As for Friday, all the motels here, even in surrounding towns, are booked solid for the State Basketball Tourney this weekend. So if you come on Saturday morning, you’ll be in time for lunch with the parents at noon. I’ll pay for the train fare. I love you so much!

joyfulMar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. So much has happened since I last wrote! Sorry it’s been several days,  jam-packed ones — My adult education class and an oral report I had to give after many hours of prep. A broken universal joint on my Corvette that I “helped” Bervin fix (4 hours beneath the car). An important conversation with my brother Tom about his plans – till 3:00 AM (he’s transferring from Wheaton College to a school in Washington DC that’s tops in Political Science). Church responsibilities galore. A funeral wake for a distant relative. A trip back to Wilmette to deposit my Corvette’s hard top in their basement so I can use the soft top (gorgeous weather!). A traffic ticket on the way back to the apartment that night at 1:00 AM. (I’m going to court in April.) And an afternoon spent with (my old boyfriend) playing tennis and chatting until 2:00 AM. My conclusion to all this stuff? I love Nate.

“These three remain: faith, hope… and love.” (1 Corinthians 13:10)

Young Love (#19)

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Both Nate and I continued our letter-writing, often two or three a day, in an effort to keep the relationship current and growing despite the miles between us. I hadn’t yet told Nate I loved him, because I wasn’t sure I did. I also knew that once I said/wrote it, there would be no holding him back. He’d be at my door with a ring. As it was, each of his letters contained multiple “I love you’s” – one had 8 of them.

certain-of-loveAlthough his frame of mind was upbeat in every letter, my moods were all over the place, like a flapping flag on a windy day. But his confidence about our future together seemed to be enough to sustain us both. When I became disheartened, he remained positive, always sending encouragement through his written words.

Mar. 12, 1969 – Dear Meg. If you are discouraged, Mary and Bervin are excellent people for you to talk to. You ought to consider their opinions and consult them often. They can guide and comfort. Sisters who are close in age, education, faith matters, etc. have much to offer each other.

Mar. 12, 1969 – Dear Nate. If it wasn’t for your persistence in developing our relationship, where would we be? Probably a thing of the past. If things ever do work out for us, my happiness will actually be the result of your steady attitude. I do think that meeting your parents, going to your home, and understanding more of your life will be helpful influences on me.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Meg. This afternoon I have ROTC drill at 4:00. I am First Sergeant, which means I call the company into formation, receive roll call, report it to the commander, and dismiss the four platoons. Some time we’ll have a talk about the Army, and I can explain some Army words (the nice ones, that is). I’m sorry you can’t come this weekend. I’ll bury myself in law books to forget…. But I’ll be sad anyway. I want to be with you as much as possible.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Nate. Did I ever tell you that I like it when you call me “Meg?” Creativity runs through your life and personality.

Mar. 13, 1969 – Dear Meg. I miss you every hour, but this weekend as the pace of events slows, I’ll miss you more than ever. This fortnight without you is a torture. I love you. Love, Nate.

thinkingMar. 14, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m going to mention my old boyfriend again now – only because I don’t want you to worry about that situation. I want you to be aware of what’s going through my mind. He called and wanted to go out tonight for Chinese food and to play pool. But I’m not going. I think he’s getting bored with his new girlfriend and feels like he and I can get back together. I’m aware of the danger of that and don’t want to be more than “occasional friends.” We may go out some, but I think I could take it or leave it. I won’t ever go back to him as his girlfriend.

Mar. 15, 1969 – Dear Meg. You are certainly free to go out with him and any others. Thank you for your honesty. My parents will be here to meet you and eat with us Saturday at noon. I love you and love to hear that sweet voice over the phone. After that I can’t do anything but think of you for hours.

Mar. 15, 1969 – Dear Nate. I may be confused, but I’m happy. Because of God, I can rest in knowing He will guide me in my decision about marriage. I can thank Him in advance for making the right choice and also for taking care of your heart, and mine. We are lucky to belong together to Him.

“Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…” (Ephesians 4:1-2)

Young Love (#15)

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As February moved into March, the letters increased and often passed each other as they traveled south and north. Sometimes two would arrive on the same day. Nate’s longing to have a reciprocated love relationship was evident, but I couldn’t bring myself to commit. My church friend was saying some lovely things to me, too – “I really enjoy being with you and would love to spend more time together.”

From the journal:

I’m a little shaken when I think about the insecurity of my romantic situation. There is still (my church friend) who I’m not dismissing as a possibility for a deeper relationship in the future. Then there is the gung-ho Nate Nyman who is sure he wants to marry me. I think I’m growing to love him back, but the thought of marriage scares me silly!

Feb. 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. It’s 10:00 PM, and I’ve just returned from a shopping spree to have dinner at long last. And boy oh boy, does it taste good… a liver sausage sandwich with lettuce, hot tea, and jello for dessert (and about 6 peanut butter cookies thrown in on the sly).

liver-sausage

Feb. 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. Since January when I moved into the apartment, I’ve gained 5 pounds. I feel fat. I need to concentrate and lose those pounds. I’ve always had an inferiority complex about my weight, especially about the chubby cheeks that dominate my face. My roommate was a huge help to me tonight as we talked about it. When I moved in here, I found a true friend.

Feb. 28, 1969 – Dear Meg. I think of you when I try to read law. I remember your softness and gentleness, and the good warm feeling I get holding you. I want to set that weekend dinner with my parents soon. I need to be with you.

gung-ho-nateFeb. 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. It’s very important to me that my family and friends get more familiar with you. I haven’t decided if that’s an immature characteristic or not. If you think it isn’t, let me know. If you think it’s immature, don’t tell me. (Just joshing.) Please counsel me and guide me in all such matters, as you feel led. If we ever got married, you’d have to counsel me endlessly – not a very bright prospect for you.

Mar. 1, 1969 – Dear Meg. I’m going to wear that fabulous knit tie to church on Sunday. Thank you again! Campus is a stick of dynamite. I fully expect fires, sniping, and the National Guard. Again last night I prayed for us. I love you, Meg.

Mar. 1, 1969 – Dear Nate. You’ll never realize how much I value your letters, including the time you put into writing and mailing them. My large kindergarten class has to perform in an all-school assembly, and guess who has been pressed into playing the piano? We’ve been spending lots of time in the assembly hall practicing. But they’re all adorable, no matter how they perform.

textbooksMar. 2, 1969 – Dear Meg. My law courses this semester are: Evidence, Corporations, Administrative Law, Commercial Law, and Constitutional Law. But it can all be very boring. I love you.

Mar. 3, 1969 – Dear Meg. You have studiously avoided saying “I love you” to me. I know you want to be absolutely sure before you say it. Take your time, please. I never want to pressure you. Those three words are the indication I wait for. If it’s God’s will that those words come from your lips, then things will firm up in a practical way. If I have to wait a year to know your feelings, it’s OK with me. But I’d like to have you down here next year as a wife. I pray for us daily. I love you.

“The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.” (Isaiah 58:11)