Category Archives: God’s plans for us

Young Love (#6)

Posted on by

As the holidays approached, Nate was feeling swamped with watching over his freshman guys and trying to keep up with a mountain of homework. But he was not too busy to continue writing letters.

As my former dating relationship gradually loosened its grip on my heart, I began, ever so slightly, to turn toward Nate in a way I never had, thinking about him more often through each day’s routine.

Nov. 24, 1968 – Dear Nate. Your involvement with these 72 undergrad men and their well-being is really something! You’ll have a wealth of experience after your job as their counselor is over. I’ll pray for your wisdom to make the decisions that are best for your men and the school. I’m already praying for your safety. And I’ve decided to mail you a Thanksgiving surprise, since you have to stay on campus through the holiday.

the-holidaysNov. 29, 1968 – Dear Meg. Without your special turkey, Thanksgiving would have been another mere holiday; with your great, multi-colored [paper] bird, it was a celebration! Thank you! I would like to visit you after Christmas. Perhaps the weekend of Dec. 27th-28h? How is that for you? By the way, after this semester, law school is half over.

Dec. 2, 1968 – Dear Nate. Thank you for writing. Your letter was good, and the 27th and 28th are reserved for you. I’m glad you’re coming. It would be great if neither one of us were disappointed with the other. I hope we will be glad. As for me, I’m very busy with my students and getting ready for Christmas. When my head hits the pillow each night, I’m utterly exhausted, but happy. I’m thinking of letting my hair grow again. I just found some pictures of senior year when it was long, though, and I look pretty witchy. What do you think?

Dec. 6, 1968 – Dear Meg. I will see you at the end of this month! I hope very much that neither of us is disappointed. My men are acting up. Last Thursday night I bailed one out of county jail on disorderly conduct arising out of a dispute in a card game. Saturday night I bailed another one out on possession of stolen property. If anyone ever asks you if college kids are wild today, you can answer yes. But to answer your question, let your hair grow long. I love it that way.

Dec. 8, 1968 – Dear Nate. The 8th grade class at my school asked me to be their chaperone on their class hayride Dec. 22. I was flattered, but here’s how they asked: “We’ve talked it over and decided you weren’t over the hill yet and might be good on a hayride.” They weren’t joking. Boy, did I feel old at 23.

Dec. 9, 1968 – Dear Nate. I’m trying to remember exactly what you look like. So I looked in my old photo album from senior year and found a picture of you talking and gesturing with my father on our front walk. Do you remember that? Below the picture is one of me with two girlfriends. Boy, was I fat.

nate-and-dadDec. 12, 1968 – I do remember standing on the walk in front of your house with your father. I also remember very much and fondly, his daughter. The thought of college does bring many good memories — especially senior year, meeting you.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Young Love (3)

Posted on by

During the summer of 1968, I traveled back to southern California to spend a third summer with our cousins there. Nate followed ROTC’s lead into his first compulsory summer of Army training, this one at Ft. Benning, Georgia.

Because my degree hadn’t been in elementary education, my teaching position in the Chicago Public Schools required ongoing adult education classes toward certification. I enrolled at Cal State for the necessary classes to assure I’d still have a job when September came. An increased distance between Nate and I didn’t dampen his enthusiasm at all.

Quietly he “upped” his commitment by beginning to save and re-read my letters(which I now have). And I began answering his mail more often. But since I was still signing my letters with just my name, he stopped signing “Love, Nate” and returned to “Your friend, Nate.”

June 15, 1968 – Meg, I think back to last June, in the early part. I remember going to a movie with you, and you wore a pretty yellow dress. Then I saw you this last January, and your hair was cut shorter. You were still very nice. I remember you and think a great deal about you. Have a good time in California. Perhaps I can see you again in late July or August.

postcardJuly 1, 1968 — Meg, this is it. (Postcard picture, right.) Hot and dusty. Obedience and discipline. It’s like being forced to go out for a varsity sport. Am I tired. Next week: swamp bivouac. We were briefed on the snakes yesterday. If you talk at mess, they take your food.

July 4, 1968 – Hi, Nate. I hope you are finding that the Army offers you a few benefits. I’m sure your good attitude and ambition have found them, if there are any.

July 13, 1968 – Dear Meg. Tonight I am answering the phone in Company Headquarters. Last Tuesday we crawled under machine gun fire in mud and water. Never been so dirty, cold and wet in my life. But I kind of liked it.

army-report

July 22, 1968 – Nate, you sound sincere in your comments about being in the service. I’ll be leaving California after the first week in August. Do you think you’ll be passing through Wilmette at all in August?

July 28, 1968 – I won’t be able to see you in August, since I’ll be with a friend in Florida, visiting him and his family. But you know I still think of you, don’t you? Perhaps I can see you in the fall after law school resumes and you are teaching again.

August 19, 1968 – I do look forward to seeing you again some time, Nate. I shouldn’t say that, though, because I don’t want to “lead you on.” So I say it with reservations. Please understand, ok? I do want to thank you for being patient with me. When I ramble on about (the other guy), you never tell me to stop. He and I are complicated and are getting deeper with each other. But that means there’s more pain, too. It’s like I’m grieving or something. But in all of this, I can’t help but think favorably of you.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Young Love (#2)

Posted on by

When a young man is sure of his love for a certain young woman, nothing but full-blown rejection will kill his hope. So in the 1960’s, Nate subtly continued to fan the flame from afar through heartfelt letters laced with compliments and optimism, despite there still being a third party in the mix.

The Vietnam war was heating up, and the draft had been re-established. With a low number, Nate worried he’d be called up and, as he put it, “taken.” A friend of his had gone and returned in a body bag, and others he knew had come back traumatized. So he applied to join the University of Illinois ROTC program, which included an educational deferment for full time students, at least at that time.

wooingJust after Christmas, he squeezed in a quick visit to the Chicago area to see me, hoping one-on-one time would bring us closer.

Jan. 2, 1968 – (from me) I want to thank you very much for coming all this way to see me, and for the beautiful pendant and sweet cologne you brought. Thank you also for all the nice things you said and did while you were here. All of it was appreciated. Thanks again. Margaret

Feb. 26, 1968 – I am happy to get your letter. Meg, you don’t have to keep telling me that we’re just friends. I know that. I got it straight last June. No romance, but friendship… a corresponding friendship. I think you’re right when you say life can be confusing. You say you feel confused; didn’t you realize that when you go out with someone, his affection and desire for you would grow? The reason (the other boy) asks you out is that he is getting fonder of you.

Mar. 17, 1968 – Meg, I really don’t know what to write about you and (the other guy). You want advice, but you must make up your own mind. Though you say you are in a period of separation from him now, you may decide to go back to him at the end of it. The ultimate thing is for you to love him and for him to reciprocate. To me, the most important thing is for you to be happy.

April 3, 1968 – Your current situation with (the other guy) sounds like you have resolved the problem of religious differences. I think you are extremely sophisticated to view the matter as you do. Many women might childishly make demands, but you honestly offer cordiality to a good and sincere man. And both of us know how fortunate I think he is. And consider this: commitment to Christ can be found in any denomination.

a-studentMay 29, 1968 – My faith is the only thing holding me together. I’ve taken three out of five law finals, and the pressure is intense. And after a perusal of TIME magazine with its articles on Russian missiles, bio-chemical warfare, racism, and battered child syndrome, I think faith in Christ is sine qua non.

May 30, 1968 – After filling out dozens of forms, I finally got my ROTC appointment. The Army has been nice to me… 160 applicants, and they only took 16, with only 4 of those in grad school. I don’t know what I did to be so lucky, but I thank God for it each night. ROTC means I’ll have a deferment from the draft at least until I get my law degree. It means two summer camps with the Army, but I won’t have to go to Vietnam any time soon. I would like to give you a big hug, and you’d probably like to bounce the nearest vase off of my head.

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” (Proverbs 29:25)