Category Archives: God’s plans for us

When All the Choices Are Bad

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Everyday life forces decisions on all of us, some of them lightweight, others very heavy. But what’s the best way to make a decision when every choice is bad?

Tired JackieOur canine friend Jack is nearing the end of his life, handing us a heavy question. What’s the most loving way to deal with him, now that he’s old and infirm? In other words, when is pet-euthanasia kind, and when is it not?

Though technically Jack belongs to Louisa and Birgitta, they grew up and left home, which is when he became “mine.” God’s timing was perfect in that, since it happened simultaneously with Nate’s going to heaven. But for Jack, that was half-a-lifetime ago, and much has changed for both of us since then.

As my pain has calmed, his has climbed, which is why the girls and I are sensing we’re coming up against this rough decision. And we’re having lots of trouble making it.

Is there ever a right time to schedule that last appointment with a vet? Or should we wait? But then, wait for what? for one more thing to go wrong? for Jack to stop eating? or go into hiding? or fall down the stairs (again) and do damage this time?

In one week Birgitta, Emerald, and I will be leaving home for an extended period of time, me for about a month, she much longer. [Next blog] Though we’ve worked diligently to find daily care for Jack, we’ve been unsuccessful. But even if we had succeeded, we know being alone at all is very difficult for him right now. He claws at doors and howls to get close to us, new signs of his decline.

Besides, what if he had a crisis with no one nearby to help him? Would it be fair to abandon him while he’s so needy? And even if we could find good care, would we wrongly be transferring our difficult decision to someone else?

Though I’m filled with joy as I share this week with our daughter and her family in Florida, my pal Jack back home (with Birgitta caring for him) is constantly on my mind.

IMG_0801Yesterday I called Jack’s vet to talk about end-of-life issues for him. If we decided on euthanasia, exactly how would it go for him? For us? Though she patiently answered my questions, she couldn’t help me with the timing problem. The pressure of our upcoming trip makes us think no decision should be made right now. But simultaneously that same trip is forcing one.

Yesterday someone suggested God might have lined up these exact circumstances for just that reason – knowing we’d be unable to make this decision for Jack any other way.

As the Creator (of Jack and us) often does, He sent wise counsel through others who have had to make this same “bad” decision. And each of their stories has helped lighten our heavy thoughts. Most have ended their comments with the same advice: “Don’t wait too long.”

Before I hung up with the vet, I made an appointment – Jack’s last. In my heart I know it’s the best of our bad choices, but it still felt pretty bad. The only thing that made it tolerable was knowing we do have an option to cancel….

The righteous care for the needs of their animals. Proverbs 2:10

 

God’s Object Lesson

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In the last blog I described a botched opportunity to do a random act of kindness for a needy lady, but God didn’t let me forget it. He repeatedly bothered my conscience till I knew I’d have to do something to make up for my poor choice.

The next morning a handful of us were seated at a restaurant having breakfast, so I planned to tell the group of my fail, and ask for input.

GiftAs I waited for the right moment, a stranger broke into our conversation, arriving at our table with a beautifully wrapped package. He walked up to Emerald and handed the gift to her as if he’d planned it for weeks. “Here you go, little girl. Merry Christmas!” Immediately afterwards, he hurried away.

Assuming it was the restaurant manager giving gifts to all young patrons, we questioned our waitress when she returned. “Did you see that?”

“Yes,” she said. “Interesting.”

“Is he part of the restaurant staff?”

“I’ve never seen him.”

Charlie Brown Christmas book.Emerald opened her present (wrapped in paper decorated on both sides) to find a 9” X 12” book – Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. And then it hit me. God was demonstrating what he’d wanted me to do the day before, by allowing me to experience the warm feeling of being surprised with an unexpected gift. As we were saying, “Wow! Can you believe this?” God was saying, “That’s what I had in mind for the Walmart lady. Understand?”

And I did. But there was more.

As our eggs and pancakes arrived, I told my family the story of the Walmart lady, expressing sadness that I hadn’t responded to God’s prompt.

“Maybe you should respond now then,” Nelson said.

“How?”

“See that guy over there?” he said, pointing to a man eating alone across the room. “Why don’t you pay for his breakfast?”

When our waitress returned, I asked if she could put his meal on our bill without letting him know who paid. “No problem,” she said. “Glad to help.”

CouponBut God wasn’t finished. When our server brought the bill she said, “Your breakfast will be 25% off this morning. That couple over there gave me a coupon to apply to your meal.” It was Ann, a local bank teller, having breakfast with her husband.

The Lord was creatively driving home his point about giving to others without counting the cost. But he wasn’t done even yet.

When I looked at the bill and its 25% discount, the extra meal we bought totaled less than the discount we received. So even after our gift of a free breakfast, we were going to leave the restaurant with a gain. The only thing to do was give it away– and we joyfully left a 50% tip for our waitress.

But God had one final comment to make. Our food plus tax added up to $46.10 – a familiar number. “Hey,” I said. “Isn’t that an important Bible reference?”

“You’re probably thinking of Psalm 46:10,” Nelson said. “ ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ ”

God’s Different Agenda

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Charlie Brown ChristmasThe Christmas season is full of reasons to celebrate, and celebrate we do – in classrooms, offices, churches, stores, homes, and in our yards.

One of my favorite parts of the season is the music. Though our children grew up with a measure of choice over what they wanted to hear, once we flipped the calendar to December, it was mom’s Christmas carols, all the way.

I love the old standards and don’t have any need to get familiar with new ones, but this year, God himself added a tune of his own: Rock-a-bye Baby.

Daughter Linnea, 9 months pregnant, felt a few twinges yesterday afternoon but didn’t think much of it. Her fifth baby wasn’t due for a few more days, and the older four had all come well after their due dates.

Baby Nelson AaronBut God had a different agenda, and by dinnertime they were cuddling their new baby boy. Labor and delivery were speedy and textbook-perfect with three midwives, one daddy, and one auntie (also a midwife) present for the home birth. Linnea and Adam decided to name their little guy in a special way, after both of their oldest siblings: Nelson Aaron.

As his grandma, my plan was to be in Florida for the baby’s birth – like I was for the last two – but here again, God had a different agenda. Many months ago when Linnea and I chose the day after Christmas for my plane ticket, we gambled that this baby would be late like the others. But the Lord smiled and said, “Well, we’ll see about that.”

He had a different agenda for Linnea, for Adam, for baby Nelson, and for me.

But isn’t that often his way? What we think will happen doesn’t, and what does happen often surprises us. That’s because we so easily fool ourselves into believing we’re in charge of our own lives, when it’s really God who has it all in hand. The up side of this is, if we’re willing to accept that our good, loving God is completely in charge, any future unknowns can’t possibly worry us.

Baby Nelson meets his folksAnd so, as my 11th grandchild dozes in his mother’s arms, I’m delighted to add yet one more Christmas-time carol to my playlist:

Lullaby and Goodnight.

The Most High… does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, “What have you done?” (Daniel 4:35)