Update on Mary

Posted on June 7, 2015 by Margaret

Greetings to all you blog readers!

My last word to you about Mary’s pancreatic cancer was, “No news is good news.” Until something changed, she thought it best not to continue posting about her. I want to assure you tonight that this is still true: nothing about the way she feels has changed. She says she’s fine; she looks good; and she’s got plenty of energy! Actually, she amazes the rest of us with the busy schedule she keeps, outdoing even her youthful, healthy past!

But this coming Tuesday, June 9, will be an important day for Mary. She has decided to have a full body scan (along with blood work), at the recommendation of her doctor. It’s been 6 months since her last scan, which showed cancer in three places. And so, as is her pattern, she’s asking you to pray.

Mary wants whatever the Lord decides is best for her. If she learns the cancer has spread, she says she’ll be ok with that, though of course it would be a disappointment. If the cancer has stayed the same, that will be wonderful news. And if by God’s doing her cancer has lessened or even disappeared, all of us will be singing, “Hallelujah!” But as Mary says, we ought to be singing hallelujah every day.

Today she reminded me of one of her favorite acronyms:

So, in whatever way God leads on Tuesday, Mary intends to follow. In the mean time, she mentioned these three prayer requests:

Pray for an absence of worry and a good night’s sleep on Monday.
Pray for a spirit of acceptance for whatever is discovered on Tuesday.
Pray that she will be a good example to others of someone who lives by faith in Jesus Christ.

“The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

[ We will share Mary’s news on Wednesday’s blog post. ]

A Blog Hiatus

Posted on May 3, 2015 by Margaret

In 2005, my sister Mary and I began talking about writing a book together. Our children were mostly grown, some married with children themselves. They were asking for advice, and we wondered if sharing our mothering experiences might make a helpful book. It wouldn’t be a compilation of quotes from experts or the experiences of other moms but simply what worked and what didn’t in raising our 14 kids.

(17 first cousins: Mary’s 7 — my 7 — our brother Tom’s 3)

After months of discussion, our first official meeting finally took place on September 27, 2006, during which we spent time praying over our book idea and recording names of women who might pray along with us. We created a statement of purpose and began making notes.

But life got in the way. My family moved from our home of 29 years to a much smaller place and had to focus on eliminating and concentrating. Shortly thereafter, Nate got sick, and in a whirlwind of upheaval and grief, he passed away.

While we were still reeling, Mary and Bervin’s home of 40 years sold, and they too were eliminating and concentrating to make a move. Then shortly after that, Mary learned of her pancreatic cancer and began treatment with major surgery and 6 months of chemo. During these same years, the two of us greeted 19 new grandchildren and 6 new in-law children. Our book was firmly stuck on the back burner.

But now, 10 years after our first book-discussion, God suddenly began giving me a repeated prompt: “How about that book on mothering?”

Since my book of prayers for widows is in its final editing stage, I began praying extensively about resurrecting Mary’s and my book. “Lord, should we really try to do it?” But as always, he was way ahead of me and was all set with his answer.

Two weeks ago, I was listening to a sermon while readying for the day, glancing at my open Bible now and then. When the preacher referenced Proverbs 4:23, I turned there and found brackets and a star at that exact verse. I’d also written a note there, 8 years ago:

“Whatever my assignment from God, I must focus intently on it and do it without distractions, gazed fixed, looking directly ahead. 11/07 (Mary’s and my book).”

I’ve often wished that after I’ve prayed about something, God would just send me a letter with his answer. This was pretty close!

What were the odds I’d hear that particular sermon referencing that particular verse after that particular week of prayer about the book? What were the chances I’d have even chosen that particular Bible to use that day, of the many I own? No other Bible had that particular note in it.

Immediately I thought about the Lord watching me write in that margin in 2007 while knowing he was going to impact me with it in 2015. Only God…

And so I stepped into his directive, “gazed fixed on the book,” and talked to Mary. These days she is feeling tip-top, another fact that defies all odds. But with God, who believes in odds? She shared my excitement about revisiting our book and was all for walking through the door God had re-opened.

So… as we move forward “looking directly ahead,” I will be the writer; Mary will be the organizer, fact-checker, side-bar creator, and brains behind the words. In order to find new writing time, though, I’ll need to dial-back on blog posts for a while. Though I may blog occasionally, it will no longer be 5 posts a week.

This decision was a difficult one, since I feel attached to you readers and look forward to blogging each day. But I’ll continue to pray for you, and you’ll be on my mind daily. Also, I promise that if anything changes with Mary’s health, I will immediately resume regular blogging. Meanwhile, concerning Mary, you can assume that NO news will always be GOOD news!

As for our book? Stay tuned….

“Show me your ways, Lord…. Guide me in your truth and teach me….” (Psalm 25:4,5)

Accepting Revisions

Posted on April 27, 2015 by Margaret

In yesterday’s post we learned of little Elizabeth Anne Nyman’s arrival into her family, bringing the revised count up to 7.These first 24 hours have been like a symphony of praise as we’ve all sent waves of gratitude up to the Lord.

Five-year-old Evelyn is gleeful over the blessing of a sister, and the older boys are finding Elizabeth interesting and appealing.

And then there’s Andrew.

One month short of turning two, he has no idea how his life is about to change, and from his point of view, it’ll all be negative. Visitors will arrive with gifts…. for Elizabeth. The camera will be clicking continually…. focused on Elizabeth. He’ll have to wait longer for his turn…. because of Elizabeth. And he’ll be carried less…. since mummy will be carrying Elizabeth.

Over time Andrew may make objections to these and other changes, but his reign as “the baby” has come to an end. Of course his parents will be conscious of this difficult adjustment, giving him as much one-on-one as they can. Hans said it well, though: “It’ll be the best thing in the world for him.”

Most two-year-olds assume they’re the center of the universe, and there’s nothing like a new baby in the house to teach them they’re not.

Interestingly, we adults sometimes have to learn this same lesson in different ways. When God tells us “no” to something we dearly want, he is acting as our loving Parent and has important reasons why a “no” is good for us. As a result, we may have a toddler-style tantrum – not that anyone can see, but inside our heads.

It’s easy to mentally rebel against a choice God makes for us by determining we’re going to do it our way anyway. But he isn’t swayed by our toddler-like behavior and doesn’t change his mind just to make us happy. Katy and Hans won’t acquiesce to Andrew, either, if he makes unreasonable demands in the weeks to come.

No “demotion” from the place we want to be is without its angst, but in Andrew’s case, eventually he’ll adjust to his revised role in the family and life will get easier for him. Hopefully we adults learn to respond to God’s revisions well, too, so we can escape the harsh natural consequences that often come when we resist.

Yesterday’s post also included the story of our Linnea who didn’t get the baby sister she’d been hoping for but got a 4^th brother instead. Though she fought it at first, it wasn’t too long before she got on board with God’s choice. And two good things came from that: (1) she learned to be faithful in prayer (asking for a sister), and (2) she learned that God does answer prayer, sometimes lavishly! Not too long after she got a 4^th brother, she got two more siblings. Both sisters.