Snow Angels

Remembering back to my first winter as a widow, 5 years ago:

Snowy bushesAs we watched a picture-perfect snowstorm out the window today, I was reminded of the snow-related care Nate put into action for our family. Before our teenage kids would drive away in a storm, he’d always check to be sure they had a snow scraper/brush in their cars, often brushing them off before they got out there. He would always clean my car off, and if his schedule allowed, would volunteer to drive me wherever I needed to go, if a storm was in progress.

Our extra-long driveway was a bear to shovel, but he did more than his share, and if he was short on time, he’d still shovel a path to each car door. He was faithful to check the windshield wiper fluid in the cars and to add more if needed.

We began thinking about buying a snow blower after shoveling that long driveway for 15 years. When a neighbor died and his widow offered to sell us his blower, Nate took her up on it. “But,” she said, “I’ll need someone to clear my driveway, too.”

That winter Nate began blowing snow off her driveway after every storm. He always did hers before ours, sometimes in his business suit and dress coat in the pre-dawn hours of a frigid weekday morning. Often he’d get hers finished but didn’t have time for ours, slipping and sliding away in his sedan on a rush to the commuter train.

I often think of Nate’s willingness to help this widow. Despite the major inconvenience of keeping her driveway clear, he never once complained about doing it. Since our neighbor had no one else to help her, he felt it was his duty to do so. The Bible says a great deal about widows, and God makes it clear he’s pleased with those who help them.

God was watching Nate blow the equivalent of mountains of snow off our friend’s driveway over the years, but I don’t believe Nate was ever aware of divine approval on those icy mornings. He was simply doing the right thing, which of course is often the hard thing.

Snow-pro neighborNow I find I’m the widow needing help. When the first big snowfall arrived, I was rummaging around in the basement for a snow shovel when I heard the delightful roar of a snow blower. Running upstairs, I saw our next-door-neighbor Bob, pink-cheeked and dodging clouds of flying snow, clearing off the driveway. When I ran outside to express my enthusiasm, he smiled and said, “Well, those of us with blowers should help those who don’t have them.”

I’ll never forget the rush of feelings that came to me then. I flashed back to Nate’s faithful work on our neighbor’s driveway, coupled with deep gratitude for my current neighbor and his cheerful willingness to help the widow next door.

”Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? Those who… do what is right… Those who refuse to… harm their neighbors… and those who keep their promises, even when it hurts.” (Psalm 15:1-4, TLB)

 

Not What We Envsioned

What do we do when life doesn’t turn out the way we envision it? Based on the facts we know on any given day, most of us project next-step logic. When it doesn’t follow accordingly, we become unsettled and usually unhappy.

This is especially true when a first baby is on the way. A young couple nurtures the mental picture of mama and baby snuggled together in the minutes after labor and delivery, the sweet desire of the heart accomplished just as they’d hoped. But what if the doctor delivers a piece of news that rearranges that picture?

Andrew and Kim with AndersThat’s what happened to my nephew Andrew and his wife Kim during the last weeks of her pregnancy. It was a blow to learn their baby wasn’t growing as he should in the womb and that their wisest choice would be to induce delivery 3 weeks ahead of schedule. The diagnosis was Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR), and the medical consensus was that the placenta wasn’t delivering adequate nutrition to the baby.

Little Anders James was born on December 22 weighing 4 pounds 2 ounces but other than his low weight seemed healthy and whole. So what does a young couple do when their parenthood picture looks nothing like what they visualized?

IMG_8754They do the same thing all young couples do. They love, protect, and pamper their new baby. These particular parents have also rooted for their newborn in ways most parents never do, applauding each half-ounce of milk he takes in, comforting him when the effort to suck wears him out.

They’ve also become immediately aware of the fragility of life, something most new mothers and fathers don’t learn till much later. And they work to bond with their new baby through tubes, wires, and the NICU schedule. Caring for their little one is done in the presence of hospital personnel, and when it’s time to go home each night, they don’t get to take their baby with them.

imageKim and Andrew’s introduction to parenthood has been anything but smooth, yet they’ve responded to each complication with courage and endurance. When Anders’ weight slipped to 3 pounds 15 ounces, they didn’t panic but trusted God to bring the gains he needed and continued diligently to tend to his feedings. When he pulled out his feeding tube again and again, they patiently endured his objections as it was reestablished.

The Lord is hovering close to this young family as it goes through these difficult days of wondering what the future will hold while managing the complex present. But God made Anders to be exactly who he is, a little fellow working hard to meet the big challenges of each new day.

And as all three of them continue to learn from each other, one thing they already know for sure: Anders James has been “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who loves him with an everlasting love.

Kim and Anders“From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” (Psalm 103:17)

Praising and Praying with Mary

I’m thankful Anders’ feeding tube was taken out today and that he is continuing to gain weight, up to 4 pounds 11 ounces at last count.

Please pray he’ll continue to make steady gains and that the Lord will direct as to which day he leaves the hospital.

The Best Resolution

The year 2014 is in the record books. Whether we used those 365 days wisely or foolishly, the tale’s been told.

At my age, the awareness of time’s passing becomes acute. It no longer seems to go on forever, and the word “fleeting” applies more often. We do what we can to hold onto important moments and special people.

But “holding on” isn’t wisdom. It isn’t even possible. A much wiser plan is to receive what we’re given as the days go by and to be content with that. But how?

Paul of the Bible admitted that contentment didn’t come naturally to him and that he had to learn it. He said, “I have learned to be content.” So how did he do it?

ContentmentIn the same passage he answers our question. The first step is to acknowledge our need for God to supply the ability to do it. (Philippians 4:19) God has a rich storehouse of “can-do” and is willing to share it with those who ask. Second, Paul says, “When I’m tempted to sink into negativity, I can find fresh strength and determination by asking God for strength to continue on.” (v. 13)

In other words, we can’t just say, ”My New Year’s resolution is to be content, no matter what.” That would stick for about 10 minutes.

Paul’s technique is to focus not on how we feel but on who Christ is and what he can do. We’re to count our blessings and then (very important) link them to the One who’s responsible for giving them. That should then cause us to rejoice in our relationship with him, which leads to contentment.

I have a hunch much of our natural discontent is linked to control issues. Most of us know that global fame, massive wealth, or any other “biggie” won’t bring contentment, and so we don’t waste time wishing for those. But we’re champions at wanting something a bit different than what we got.

We say, “Yes, Lord, I’m willing to live this particular life, but could we make a few changes first?” Then we go about tweaking what God has already put in place for us. In other words, we may not want more or better, but we often want different.

It might be a good idea this year to concentrate on receiving the life we’ve been given by asking God for enough of his grace to live in and through it well. (v. 23) When we do that, contentment is bound to follow.

“Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” (1 Corinthians 7:17)

Praising and praying with Mary

I haven’t felt this good in a long time, and regardless of what’s ahead, I’m praising God for the safe, festive Christmas and New Years we’ve just shared as a family.