Category Archives: God’s plans for us

“I need you!”

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Back in 1624, John Donne wrote a meditation that included the sentence, “No man is an island.” Since the beginning of time people have needed each other, beginning with Adam needing Eve. None of us gets life right by ourselves, and the presence of another brings more than just companionship. It often brings wise counsel, too. Asking for advice is a good thing, even scriptural.

Recently I’ve been reminiscing about my own mentor, Aunt Joyce, who advised and encouraged me for 39 years. I clearly remember the day it began. I’d just arrived in California as a 19-year-old for a second happy summer living with my cousins. A mob of us had finished lunch, and everyone had left the table except my aunt and me.

She said, “I know you had a great time here last summer, but you can’t be sure it’ll be the same this year. It could go either way.”

I nodded, thinking about her words long after I’d left the table, since that possibility hadn’t occurred to me. Her counsel had been practical and sensible, and in giving it, she’d put a welcome mat between us, inviting me to come to her any time. And for nearly 4 decades, I took full advantage.

Aunt Joyce, baby Nelson, and meAunt Joyce faithfully prayed for me and offered counsel until she died in 2005, at the age of 92. Most of her guidance came in handwritten letters which I saved, making her wisdom available to me any time. The miles between us never hampered our relationship because the bond we had was a sturdy bridge. Before Aunt Joyce died, she had begun mentoring our daughter Linnea (as well as many from other families) and was spending large chunks of time praying for her and the rest of us.

The beauty of mentoring is its non-threatening, non-pressured atmosphere. Aunt Joyce wasn’t my mother, a police woman, a professor, or a preacher. With all restrictions lifted, she could just be herself, and I could be myself, sharing back and forth without judgment.

We see biblical mentoring throughout Scripture: Joshua mentored by Moses, Mary by Elizabeth, Barnabas by Paul and of course the twelve disciples by Jesus. And just like I still have Aunt Joyce’s letters, each of us is privy to biblical writings containing all manner of wise counsel.

IMG_2755When I lost my earthly mentor, she left a void no other woman could fill, so I asked the Lord if he would be to me what Aunt Joyce had been. Although he often uses a variety of people to bring me through, he’s also just fine with doing it by himself.

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” (Psalm 48:14)

Love Without End, Part 2

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Nate loved his stainless steel Rolex watch and got an uptick of pleasure whenever he checked the time. He wore it on his right wrist rather than the traditional left, but one day I noticed he wasn’t wearing it at all. When I asked why, he said, “It’s at Peacock’s, being cleaned.”

Several weeks after that, his wrist was still empty. When I asked about it again he said, “I have it, and its working fine. But I’ve been wondering if I should wear it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, these days it seems ostentatious,” he said.

Rolex watchI was surprised. He’d loved receiving it, wearing it, setting it on the dresser every night. Then why the change of heart? Since he’d started wearing it, much had happened in the real estate and legal worlds, and his thriving business had shriveled to nothing because of governmental law changes. The fact that his partner had suffered a debilitating stroke and never returned to work didn’t help. His rapidly rising income had plummeted, and we were scrimping at home. When Nate looked at the big picture, a Rolex seemed out of place.

Of course I was well acquainted with our over-the-cliff financial picture, but I hadn’t put all the pieces together. The radical changes affected all of us, but they were upsetting Nate the most. His business persona was being overhauled, his finances ruined, his work hours increased, and his tension level off the charts.

One night, I told him I was impressed with his decision about the Rolex. It had been thrilling to receive it and satisfying to wear it, but gradually he saw it as inappropriate, and I saw that as wisdom. Although Nate would not have said he’d been humbled by his losses, that’s how I saw it. And it was good… at least spiritually-speaking.

After the “fall” and a period of despondency, he joined a church small group, began sharing openly with other men, and related to the Sunday sermons in new ways. Although it was a painful reminder of our situation to eat soup for dinner every night for a while, Nate would say after it was all over that he was closer to the Lord and also to me.

Financial deficiencies never entirely disappeared, but Nate’s struggle ended completely on November 3, 2009, financially and in every other way. God had humbled him, and when he deemed the time was right, he lifted him up… way up… to a place where a Rolex or any other kind of watch is never needed.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” (1 Peter 5:6)

Names and Nicknames

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As each one of our children was born, Nate and I established two guidelines for naming them: (1) to follow Swedish tradition, and (2) for their names to be uncommon. We named them Nelson, Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Hans, Louisa and Birgitta.

We knew we were taking a chance by using unusual names and hoped our offspring wouldn’t hate them, but of course as youngsters they wanted to share commonly used names so that when they were asked, no repetition would be necessary. But as we hoped, they grew into their names, eventually becoming thankful for them.

In a hospital scene repeated seven times, Nate and I did what all parents do; we studied each newborn face and finalized a name, a delightful process. Although we went into labor and delivery with a list of boy and girl favorites, it didn’t seem right to actually choose until we got a look at him or her. Then, almost always, the “right” name popped out of the list.

Part of those naming conversations would always be mulling over possible nicknames, exploring whether or not any of those might evolve into teasing. Now we know there isn’t a name anywhere without nickname potential, even for adults.

Midge-Pidge beach chairsSeveral years ago our younger girls gave Nate and I nicknames: Pidge and Midge (see beach chairs). I liked mine, but Nate wasn’t enamored with his. “Sounds a lot like pigeon,” he said. Mary and Bervin became Modge and Podge, and one of their daughters Morge. So we were Midge, Pidge, Modge, Podge, and Morge.

Names are important to God. Scripture says he wrote us into the Book of Life from before the world was even made. In his limitless foreknowledge, he knew what people like Nate and I would decide to name each of our children and already had those choices written down. Such a thought is mind-boggling and completely wonderful.

At some future date when God decides the world will end, he says we’re going to receive new names, each one known only to the person receiving it. (Revelation 2:17) This sounds mysterious, especially because when it happens, he’s going to write it on a white stone as he gives it to us. Maybe it’s these new names that are written in his book rather than the names we now have.

The bookIn any case, Jesus makes it clear, while teaching his followers, that even more important than a name itself is where it’s written down. Is it in his Book? If it is, it’ll stand strong as a reservation for residence in heaven.

“Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Pray for minimal nausea after chemo #10 tomorrow and an absence of other side effects.
  2. My second feeding tube is acting up just like the first one, prohibiting sleep. Pray we’ll get some help tomorrow while we’re there for chemo.
  3. I’m grateful for a full day at Moody Church today, and for the quiet of our “little nest” in the Chicago condo. Thank you for your prayers.