Category Archives: Grandparenting

Good job!

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Emerald spends time with me whenever her mommy is attending university classes. And while Birgitta is learning, I am too.

Pop popA week ago Emerald and I opened a package together that came in the mail. Inside was a generous supply of bubble wrap protecting the contents, and I wondered if she might be ready to pop the bubbles.

As I squeezed a few for her, her eyebrows went up with surprise, and I could see this was a match made in heaven. Because of her love of bubble-blowing, bubble wrap was sure to become a close second.

Pressing my big finger atop her tiny one, I showed her how hard she’d have to press to get a pop, and doubted she had the strength. But in tandem we popped one after another, and she was hooked. When she tried it by herself, at first her finger wiggled and wobbled as she pressed, but eventually one bubble did pop. She threw her hands in the air and shouted, “Good job, bubble!”

And there was my lesson for the day.

PopAs self-centered as most toddlers naturally are, this time Emerald focused on the performance of someone (something) other than herself. I was about to say, “Good job, Emerald!” but she beat me to it with her good-job-bubble, as if she was proud of the bubble and its pop.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with congratulating a toddler on learning something new. But there’s something unusual about a toddler (who is normally quite self-focused) seeing anything at all from a viewpoint other than her own.

God had me in class on bubble-wrap-day and was reminding me that thinking self-first is something I do too much of. And when I think like that, I might as well be a toddler acting in character (rather than a toddler acting out of character as Emerald did that day). I’ve lived too long not to know better.

A few days later, I got the same lesson again.

Living and learningThe two of us were out on the deck blowing soap bubbles when it began to rain. Emerald asked for her mini-umbrella (which sounded much like asking for her “ebola”), and I wondered if she might be able to open and close it herself. She badly wanted to do it.

When we came in the house, we tried it a few times with my hand over hers, showing her how. And sure enough, she finally got it. When she did, her response was, “Good job, ‘ebola’!” And I got the lesson again.

Now my homework is to learn how to think of others not just intentionally but automatically. It’s hard to establish a new habit, but at least God taught the lesson in a truly charming way. And if I need a reminder, I can pull out the bubble wrap.

“We must not just please ourselves…  For even Christ didn’t live to please himself.” (Romans 15:1,3)

Praising and Praying with Mary

You’ll hear from me on Sunday night’s blog, bringing you up to date.

Catching a Vision

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Creative playWhen two-year-old Emerald and I play together, we enjoy a variety of simple pleasures: reading books, chasing bubbles, playing piano, drawing with markers. But most fun of all is watching her come up with her own creative “games.”

It was her idea to climb into an empty bathtub with her super-balls and stir them up till they fly around like hail in a hurricane. She does it every time she visits .

And she often asks me to reach for her half-dozen sippy-cups so she can stack them, match them with their appropriate lids, and arrange them in a circle like the numbers on a clock.

Vision.Though two-year-olds are total entertainment, maybe it’s more than that. Emerald may grow up to be a visionary, someone who dreams big and tries new things.

The other day she walked into the kitchen (after rummaging through my desk) with my magnifier glasses on her nose. After staring silently for the longest time, she finally just said, “Eyes.”

No doubt she meant, “My eyes can’t see right.” What she saw through them was blurred, but when I offered to take the glasses, she chose to keep them, walking through the house while gently turning her head this way and that to experiment with her new vision. She was fascinated.

VisionNot long ago I had a similar experience but with a non-visionary response. I found a pair of extreme magnifiers at a rummage sale and got a good laugh trying them on. But unlike Emerald’s desire to experience something new, I couldn’t wait to get them off. She pushed through positively; I gave up.

But of course eye-vision is one thing. Being a true visionary is something else. It means believing in an idea so completely that words like impossible, unlikely, or impractical aren’t roadblocks. Visionaries don’t hear even sharp criticism, because their drive to shoot for something fresh and new is so strong.

God knows all about being a visionary. Talk about a vision! His was to save corrupted mankind from sin, an impossible task from our perspective. But he saw through to the end result and ended up accomplishing exactly what he set out to do.

Now, as he offers salvation to each of us, we have to choose whether or not we’ll believe his vision about a sinless future in eternity with him. In a way, that calls for each of us to be a visionary.

We also have to be visionaries about the details. How will things go when we step out of this world and into the next? Since we don’t know for sure, we have to blend God’s word with trust in him. As we do, it’s best not to criticize or worry, which is what non-visionaries do. Instead we should simply “catch God’s vision” and expect that somehow everything is going to work out perfectly.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18)

Family Blessings

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Before I had grandchildren, I would read Scripture’s references to them and make no connection. But now those same verses mean a lot more, because they include names and faces.

The basic message is, “If you live to see grandchildren come into your family, you’ll be blessed beyond measure.” Jeremiah put it this way: “Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them, so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away!” (29:6, NLT)

With Isaac, used on Linni's blogThe joys of grandchildren are as varied as the children themselves, and grandparents love noticing personality differences and God-given bents. With the buffer of a generation between us (our own children), we’re free to encourage and nurture them without having to participate in the more challenging tasks of parenthood, like discipline and decision-making.

But what happens if we grow into old age without any children and thus without grandchildren? Are we meant to forfeit those scriptural blessings?

I don’t think so. The key to claiming the blessing is to understand how broad the definition of the word “grandchildren” is in the Bible. One of those verses hints at it by saying, “Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6) Though I dearly love my grandchildren, I wouldn’t call them a “crowning glory.” I think the words “crowning glory” have more to do with spiritual matters than physical ones.

If someone asked me, “What’s your life’s crowning glory?” I would answer, “My saving relationship with Christ.” Psalm 103 says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.” (v. 1 & 4) Now, that’s a crown I love wearing!

But how do we link a spiritual crown with grandchildren? I think the answer is in our parenting (and grandparenting) of spiritual children. When we lead someone to Christ, explaining salvation, then praying with them, followed by mentoring them, we become a type of parent to them. One dear friend of mine calls me her “spiritual mother,” a great honor.

If she then leads others to Christ by her testimony, those people become her spiritual children and a type of spiritual grandchildren to me. And if they, in turn, lead others, my friend becomes the spiritual grandparent.

I understand that God has no grandchildren, because he’s the Father to all believers. But by bearing witness to the reality of his love, our spiritual family can grow by generations, having nothing to do with biology and everything to do with divinity. We can delight in those generational grands that become related to us through salvation, continuing our encouraging and nurturing right into eternity.

Heaven's gateAnd then, just imagine the thrill of standing at heaven’s gate, welcoming our spiritual children and grandchildren as they arrive! That’s a jewel-studded crown of glory every one of us will be overjoyed to wear.

 

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)