Category Archives: Grandparenting

Taking the Lead

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Last week I enjoyed writing about my mom, thankful for the upright heritage she left behind. Judging by worldly standards, Mom died an old lady of 92 who never worked outside her home or accomplished anything of note. Strangers might have said, “Hers was a wasted life.”

 Fun-loving MomBut those of us who knew her, know otherwise. Before Mom died, we used to joke she’d have a big funeral, and we were right. The crowds came in droves, filling the large room where her body lay, spilling out into the halls and out the front door. The funeral director came running just before the service began with alarm on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me!” he said.

What he meant was, “Why didn’t you tell me this woman was popular? We don’t usually see this for old ladies like her!”

As we greeted guests, Mary and I noticed how most were from the generations behind Mom, people our age and younger. These were the “children” she’d loved and influenced throughout her life, loving all of them as her own. Rather than wasting her life, she’d used it for lofty purposes, leaving footprints that led them all to Jesus.

Here’s an important question for each of us still marching along on this side of our funerals: “Where will my footprints lead?”

FootprintsSteve Green’s song “Find Us Faithful” says,

“As those who’ve gone before us,
Let us leave to those behind us
 The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives.”

God gives us a simple but effective way to leave footprints others will find it worthwhile to follow: just track the steps of Jesus.

IMom and Linnin Mom’s last year of life, she continually had her nose in a Bible. One day I asked if she’d looked at the biography of Julia Child I’d just given her, or her new book about hymn authors. She said, “Honey, I don’t have any time for those. I’m studying for my finals.”

Despite not owning a trophy case or being written up in periodicals, Mom finished well.

“After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we’ve left behind,
 May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
 Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find.” (Steve Green)

“God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21)

Who are you?

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When a family is expecting a new baby, each one speculates about who that baby might be…. for 9 long months. By the time D-day arrives, everybody’s dying of curiosity to find out: Is it a he or she? What color hair, eyes? How big or small? How long or short?

#10Immediately after the birth, those questions are answered, and we begin the process of getting acquainted with someone new.

Our extended family has started that delightful process this week with the birth of Mary and Bervin’s 10th grandchild, Harrison Arthur Ytterberg. On Thursday we learned “it” was a boy weighing 8 pounds 9 ounces with light brown hair, blue eyes, and features much like his older brother Beck.

But our guessing continues, and we wonder who is hidden inside that little body. Will Harrison be mild-mannered or tantrum-prone? Will he be a people-person or a loner? Talkative or quiet? Mechanically inclined? A good student? Artistically gifted? Only time will tell.

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Questions answeredMost of us view each new baby as a blank slate and expect good things from him or her. We think the best of every newborn and ascribe no negative traits. So an interesting question is, why can’t we view every new adult acquaintance the same way?

When we’re introduced to an adult we’ve never met, our tendency is to take one look and assume we know all about them, quickly supposing facts that most likely aren’t true. Then, based on our inaccurate assessment, we choose to either show favoritism or partiality. God frowns on this kind of judging.

Still, most of us are prone to peg people based on what we see at first glance. We “size ‘em up” and think we can somehow land on accuracy just by looking. The truth is every person is far more complicated than that. As we get to know someone, little by little we usually find out we were wrong in those first radical jumps to conclusions, and we feel ashamed of ourselves. God is the only completely accurate Judge of who a person is, because he can judge thoroughly, inside and out.

First Chronicles 28:9 says,“The Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought.” As human beings we could never hope to see into someone like that, and yet we act as if we can. It would be better if we’d let God be the only insta-judge, taking a wait-and-see approach to decide what we think.

Harrison ArthurAs we watch little Harrison grow and change, may we never peg him prematurely but wait patiently to see who God has made this brand new person to be.

God does not show favoritism. Acts 10:34

Believing a Lie

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Soft ragsMy Mom was a hard worker, doing housework the old fashioned way. She used cloth rags instead of disposables and preferred her own cleaning potions to fancy sprays. She used to say the most practical gift any young bride could receive would be a bag of well-worn, soft rags. I didn’t have the heart to tell her a modern bride wouldn’t think they were a good gift or know what to do with them.

Mom scrubbed her floors on hands-and-knees and didn’t own a mop. “How can you get the corners?” she’d say. Using a rag made sweeping unnecessary, because she’d pick up bits of debris with her rag and rinse them out in her bucket (leftover wash machine water).

One day she was crawling along her kitchen floor, washing away the results of a visit from 6 preschool grandchildren. She loved cleaning up after these little people, calling the aftermath “a happy mess.” She’d scrub sticky Jello leftovers off the linoleum and remember the fun of making Jigglers with them. She’d scoop up Cheerios and think about the pudgy baby eating in the high chair.

Real raisinsOn this day she came across a stray raisin and thought, “Still in good shape,” and popped it into her mouth. One chew told her she’d made a huge mistake. It wasn’t a raisin at all but the product of a toddler’s diaper.

She dropped her rag and got to the bathroom as fast as she could. But brushing her teeth multiple times with lots of toothpaste couldn’t remove the taste from her mouth or the impression from her brain.

All of us have eaten food off the floor. Well, maybe that’s just our family. In any case, her “raisin” wasn’t a raisin at all but merely something that appeared to be. Appearances can be deceiving, and she’d been deceived.

Her experience is a memorable illustration of the way deception works. Our enemy, the devil, is the definitive master of disguises. He lies, cheats, and deceives with expertise, cloaking wickedness in goodness. “Go ahead,” he sweet-talks. “It’ll be even better than you think. No one has to know. You deserve to have things go your way for once.”

On and on he coaxes with endless patience, gently tugging us toward a slimy slope with complete devastation at its end. He never runs out of ideas and uses the exact disguises that are attractive to each one of us, an expert at his craft.

Before we have a chance to check if it’s really a raisin, we’re chewing it.

(Tomorrow: Believing the Truth)

“When the devil lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. There is no truth in him.” (John 8:44)