Category Archives: Grandparenting

It’s what it is.

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My granddaughter Emerald is almost two years old and is, like most little ones her age, learning to talk. This is an especially delightful time as those of us listening can tell her little mind is working hard to communicate. One of Emerald’s charming inclinations is to substitute “sh” for “s” :

  • Happy times.balls are “ball-sh”
  • boots are “boo-sh”
  • salt is “shawlt”
  • more is “mo-sh”
  • boogers (she just had a cold) are “booger-sh”

She also practices language by trying to repeat what we say, so she says, “I hep you!” but really means, “I need your help!”

Little by little a toddler adds to her vocabulary and usage by listening to those around her and matching up words with tone of voice, simultaneous action, verbal pitch, and even accompanying moods. Little ones are keen observers of the world around them, and they all have a passionate desire to “be like us.”

ThomasA couple of weeks ago our son Hans and his family visited from England. His wife and four young children all have beautiful British accents, and I watched Emerald watching them. Four-year-old Thomas loved approaching her, bending to her level, cupping his hands around her face and saying, “Hello!” With his sweet accent it came out, “Heh-lau.” Within one day, Emerald was approaching others saying, “Heh-lau” in a perfect mimic.

I remember belonging to a diet group 20 years ago when one of the ladies asked to speak to the group. With tears she told the tale of her three-year-old’s penchant for swearing, listing the “blue” words he liberally used in their home, coupled with lots of anger. “I just can’t stop him!” she wailed. “It’s awful!”

Of course he wasn’t using any words he hadn’t first heard, and that woman’s best move would have been to find out (and hopefully change) what her son was hearing.

All of us take on the characteristics of whomever we hang with, not just linguistically but in other respects, too. That makes choosing a spouse, for example, a heavy-weight decision, and it’s the reason most parents safeguard their children with diligence. Most of all, though, we should each set a guard in front of ourselves.

All of us should want to be careful how we act, what we say, and where we go, because like it or not, we’re being watched. Most importantly, God is watching. So if we consistently work to make choices that please him, he will pour out blessing in abundance, on us and on those watching. And that includes little children who want to “be just like us.”

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Thanks for praying about my second-to-last chemo tomorrow. Pray they’ll find a good vein without a problem. (My arms are rebelling.)
  2. Pray against flu-like symptoms (fever and achiness) that started after last week’s infusion.

Coming Up Short

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Until recently at my house we were still working with an ancient fuse box and glass screw-in fuses. Since we had circuit-breakers at our last house, moving to the cottage brought an electrical learning curve. At first I couldn’t tell if a fuse was blown or good, and it was a guessing game trying to link their power with certain areas of the house. Gradually, though, the fuse box and I became friends… until last summer.

My electric water heater would work fine for a couple of weeks, then go cold. I’d  replace a couple of fuses, and it would work again until a few weeks later. One day while at the hardware store buying more fuses, I described this to the clerk. “Are you using the right number?” he said.

“Yes,” I said, “two of them.”

“No, I mean the number on the fuse. They have different strengths. Check your fuse box. Sometimes it says.”

And sure enough, I’d been using 20’s in two holes needing 30’s, shorting on power to the water heater. After I corrected my error, all was well. If only life’s other shortages were as easy to repair: shortages of sleep, money, patience, energy, wisdom, all kinds of things.

Each of us has felt pinched in specific ways from time to time. For example, every new parent knows about sleep shortages and later learns about patience shortages when their children test them.

Nate and I had financial shortages for many years. Families in other countries find themselves short of food or medicine. People in jobs that require creativity find themselves short of ideas, and those needing physical strength in their work become short of energy.

But the worst is when we feel shorted by God, that he hasn’t come through like he said he would. We claim his promise to provide for our needs and wonder why we’re short on cash. We put him first, believing he’ll direct us, then wonder why we’re unemployed.

I’ve found it helpful not to look at the current-day shortage but rather at past provision. It’s the manna principle. God told the hungry Israelites to collect only enough for “today.” If they gathered extra, it rotted.

That’s often how we define our shortages: “I made it through today but I need to know I’ll have enough for tomorrow.”

If we apply the manna principle, we’ll focus on the first half of that sentence rather than the last. Worrying about stockpiling “extra” is wasted effort.

I remember when a grandchild asked me for some juice. She usually only drank half, so I filled her cup accordingly. As I gave it to her, she cried out, “No! All the way full!”

Thinking she must be very thirsty, I filled it to the top and handed it to her. She said, “Thank you,” and skipped off to play. Later I found her cup. She’d drunk only half.

“The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.” (Ecclesiastes 1:8b)

Priceless Art

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After a visit from grandchildren, it takes a day to change my home over from a toddler environment to that of a single adult. Taking the junior chair, bathtub toys and rattles back to the basement, my thoughts are always with the children as they head home.

Grandma having funRecently while going through this process I thought back to my own days of young motherhood when I would visit Mom, kids in tow, at her orderly home set up for two adults. When she first found out she was going to be a grandma, she emptied a large cabinet and went garage-sale-ing for toys to fill it. “I want our grandkids to have fun when they come,” she said.

Her wish came true. Our children and everyone else’s had a blast at Grandma Johnson’s. After leaving multiple little ones in her care, I’d always hurry back, worrying she might be exhausted. But no matter the length of time or number of children, she’d always say, “Back already?”

Time flew, because she was having fun.

After the children had pulled every toy out of her cabinet, each of us young moms would stay to pick them up, but Mom would take them from our hands and say, “Oh, let me do that after you leave. I have such a good time thinking back on the morning.”

“But it’s such a mess!” we’d say.

“A happy mess,” she’d counter, “and I love it.”

I remember one morning when Mom took care of several of our kids and made chocolate chip cookies with them. Two year old Klaus had deposited a smudgy hand print on her white door at toddler height, and before we left I reached for a soapy rag to wipe it clean. Mom stopped me, saying, “Don’t touch that. It’s darling.”

The next time I visited, she’d drawn a square frame around the messy print and written “By Klaus,” along with the date. Another “happy mess.” I’ll be glad if I can be half the grandma Mom was.

Micah, circa 2010I’ve found plenty of my own precious art-prints after grandchild visits, like the ones 4-month-old Micah left while sitting in his Bumbo on the kitchen counter. He loved watching us prepare meals and was perched next to the glass cake dome. After he and his family had left, when the sun hit that glass, half of the dome was covered with tiny prints this little guy had left with his dimpled, drool-soaked fingers, and I experienced the same rush of grandma-love Mom must have felt seeing Klaus’ chocolate hand.

Though I confess to washing Micah’s artwork off my cake dome that day, it wasn’t before I “framed” his creation in my memory. Maybe when he visits next, we’ll bake some cookies together.

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray for my visit with the doctor tomorrow, a specialist who will work on feeding tube issues.
  2. I’m thankful for a trip to Arkansas for dog-Sydney’s last day and the days following.