Category Archives: Grandparenting

A Good Conversation

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Little Emerald, at 8 weeks, knows nothing of speech. She hasn’t even begun cooing, though she’s hinted it’s just around the corner. Nine month old Autumn, however, said her first word yesterday (“mama”).

The development of a child’s speech is a marvel. By the time she’s 2½, she can handle a back-and-forth with adults, the conversations minimal or maximal depending on the personality of the child.

My 5 oldest grandchildren (ages 4, 3, 2, 2, 2) can all hold their own with the rest of us. When they’re at home in Florida and England, it’s those conversations I miss the most. Once in a while I’ll get to have phone chit-chats with them, though those can’t compare with face-to-face, because poor connections sometimes muddle their words.

Often those conversations are dominated by my repeated question, “What did you say?” and of course every encounter has to end with a goodbye. After that, they’re all far away again.

Sometimes I fantasize about a certain conversation, an unusual one, that I’m going to have with Jesus Christ when I see him. Right now our communication tends to be one-sided, mostly mine, and although I know he hears me and speaks back through Scripture, our connection can’t compare to how it will be when we’re face-to-face. These days I’m sometimes confused and often ask him, “What did you say?”

But what will it feel like to look into the loving face of Jesus, to study his expression as he talks to me, and to hear him perfectly? I would imagine the inner satisfaction will be very deep, a sort of grand finale’ to years of longing. Being up close and personal with him will be a thrill unlike any I’ve known on earth.

But today I was wondering what our first face-to-face conversation might feel like to him. Is he looking forward to it, too?

I believe when Christians pass through physical death, waiting on the other side is an immediate connection with Jesus Christ, one-on-one. When it’s my turn and I arrive to him, maybe he’ll feel a sense of satisfaction in witnessing my awe over him, much like parents delight in watching a child receive something she’s always wanted.

Jesus might also take pleasure in knowing he has followed through, giving what he promised he would. Faith will have become sight for me, and he will have done what he said he was going to do. Watching me thoroughly “get that” might bring a blessing to him.

In any case, I’m eagerly anticipating that face-time, and when it happens, I sure hope I don’t mess it up by talking too much.

“So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:6,8)

Minimizing Murmuring

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For several days now, my 7 grandchildren have been at my house making all kinds of racket and having all kinds of fun. Even though they’re only aged 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 9 months, and 7 weeks, these young cousins (who live far from each other most of the time) are establishing sweet relationships, and it’s a joy to watch.

Today I saw 2 two-year Micah and Thomas wobble down the stairs hand-in-hand, chattering (simultaneously) about the toys they were going to find in the basement. Then 4 year old Skylar and 2 year old Evelyn joined forces to “help” Birgitta change Emerald’s diaper, adding kisses, head-strokes, and 12 extra wipes to the routine. This afternoon Nick and Skylar successfully completed an art project without bickering, and all of them regularly stop to pat crawling Autumn on her head.

Overall, the compatibility is impressive, at least most of the time. But then there are those moments of frustration, fatigue, and unadulterated, me-first selfishness when eruptions come lightning fast and pleasant children melt-down in seconds.

But there’s something much worse than screaming fits. Somewhere between harmony and discord lies the miserable zone of murmuring.

The word “murmur” is an example of onomatopoeia, a word that sounds exactly like its definition. To murmur is to whine or complain about something in an irksome tone, not especially loud or soft but droning on and on, with no end. And during these happy days at my house, we’ve also had big doses of murmuring.

But murmuring is nothing new. The children of Israel did it while following Moses through the wilderness, murmuring about being hungry, thirsty, about their leaders, about leaving Egypt, about the challenges of war, and about most of what God told them to do.

They weren’t the only ones, though. Years later the Scribes and Pharisees of Israel murmured against Jesus and also against his disciples. But New Testament believers murmured, too. None of us can justify pointing a finger.

Except God, that is.

God never murmurs and is disappointed when any of us do it, whether we’re 2 years old, 22, or 102, and he links his displeasure with punishment. As a matter of fact, the children of Israel weren’t allowed to enter The Promised Land for only one reason: their murmuring.

This afternoon Linnea tried to cope with a murmuring toddler as we talked about how difficult it was to listen to steady whining. Then she said, “But I guess since I’m complaining right now, I’m doing it, too.” We all whine sometimes, but God has the same opinion about it today as he did thousands of years ago.

So what can be done? How can we be good examples of “murmurlessness” in front of our children and grandchildren when complaining comes so naturally? Tomorrow Nate is going to give us the answer.

“Do all things without murmurings and disputings, that you may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke.” (Philippians 2:14-15)

 

Happy Helping

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In this blog space I’ve already shared that my greatest desire as a mom has always been to see my 7+2+7 (7 children, 2 children-in-law, 7 grands) embrace the Word of God and walk in its truth. My mom prayed the same for her 3+3+17, and she did even more than that. She offered to babysit our little ones so we, as young mothers, could attend Bible study.

Organized women’s studies with workbooks, weekly lectures, and discussion groups were a new thing back then, and Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) met in a church just across the street from Mom’s house. She’d already attended herself and said she had soaked up enough. It was time to pass on the blessings to the next generation.

Since BSF had a teaching program for children ages 2-5, our babies weren’t included, so Mom stepped in. Despite having broken her back in multiple places and being in her 70’s, she met us each week at the door with good cheer, already wearing her work apron, to care for our babies. Then, as the months and years passed, she never said no to additional moms wanting to study Scripture, sometimes caring for 6 or 7 babies at once.

Our weekly routine was: drop the babies at 9:00 am, return at 11:30, and find Mom had made lunch for all of us. If these were stressful hours for her, she never let on. Instead she regaled us with stories of what a blessing it was to be able to babysit.

Mom’s willingness to give a mountain of time, energy, and creativity to the little ones did several things:

  • elevated her to servanthood status in God’s sight.
  • boosted her heavenly rewards significantly.
  • frustrated the enemy by removing an obstacle that would have kept young mothers from attending Bible study.
  • bonded her to a crowd of little ones.

Mom would add one more: “They kept me young!”

Children less than 2 years old are needy, inconvenient, and labor-intensive, but they’re no less important to God than anyone else. Since Mom agreed with him on that, he empowered her to do what she did.

Those of us who “used” her to babysit walked back through her kitchen door after Bible study each week refreshed from quality time away from our 24/7 children, brimming with gratitude. When we tried to put the toys away, Mom would say, “Oh leave that for me. It’s such a happy mess” and we  believed her.

Not all of us are called to care for babies, but we are called to elevate the study of Scripture. And if we’re looking for a surefire way to get “spiritual brownie points” on God’s reward board, we can facilitate this kind of study in the lives of others… of course that’s after we first promote it in our own.

“Whoever serves Me must follow Me; and where I am, My servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves Me.” (John 12:26)