Category Archives: Grandparenting

July 22, 2008

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When our granddaughter Skylar first came to be as a tiny, almost invisible division of cells, she was God’s secret, just as every conception of life is, for a while. In this case, however, the Lord must have felt a certain eagerness to share his well-planned surprise with our daughter Linnea and her husband Adam.

This young couple’s sad history with infertility (www.KissYourMiracle.com“my story”), had left them pondering life without a family. They’d excitedly talked about having children from the time of their engagement, but after months of painful, expensive tests, doctors had told them natural conception was impossible. In the midst of their grief, they decided to pray for a miracle anyway and trust God with whatever happened, baby or no baby.

Eighteen months later, when Linnea began feeling poorly while teaching her high school English classes, she never  suspected a pregnancy. But as symptoms increased and she found herself falling into bed earlier and earlier each night, a light switched on inside Adam’s head.

After a home pregnancy test produced a positive, they decided it was probably a faulty test and went back to the store for a second one, a different brand. But that one was positive, too! Reluctant to believe it, they decided to see their doctor, who did a third test in his office, another positive! But it wasn’t until they saw their peanut-sized baby on an ultrasound screen that they succumbed to hysterical happiness and believed they were actually going to have a baby. Because of physical problems and the medical impossibility of becoming pregnant, no one could explain how it had happened.

But God……

…..had plans.

While Linnea was pregnant, I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you walking on egg shells, Honey? Aren’t you afraid to breathe?”

Her answer revealed a mature faith in the Creator of their child. “Mom, this baby is totally God’s, not ours. If he decided to take him or her right now, how could I object?”

Then, on a hot July night in Florida, eight days overdue, Skylar finally arrived. She was given the middle name Grace, because of God. And what an explosion of life she was! I flew south on the afternoon they came home from the hospital, eager to meet God’s amazing surprise package. But within 24 hours we were contemplating a trip to the emergency room for all her non-stop, fenzied screaming. This child had stamina beyond our imagining!

At the time, my podunk theory was that she was an active toddler locked in the powerless body of a newborn, frustrated and unable to expend her boundless energy in any way other than crying. As silly that that sounds, it has proven true. When she began sitting, crawling, walking, running and talking, she got happier and happier.

Today she turned two, and our sparkly Skylar never ceases to delight us all. We can’t imagine life without all the laughter and joy she’s brought along with her, nor can we ever forget that God, in a show of lavish grace, sent our Skylar Grace.

To this day, medical personnel and Skylar’s parents have no idea how she came to be. Everyone agreed, “It’s totally impossible.”

But God said…..

….. “Ya think?”

“She who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:36b-37)

Sticky Fingers

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It’s been a day of changing the cottage from a toddler environment back to that of a single adult. As I took the junior chair, bathtub toys and rattles back to the basement, my thoughts were with my daughter’s family while they winged their way back to Florida. Putting baby shampoo, the bottle brush and bottles back in their storage bins, I could almost hear Skylar’s encouraging voice: “Good cleaning up, Midgee!”

I thought back to my own days of young motherhood when I would visit Mom, kids in tow, at her orderly home set up for two adults. When she first found out she was going to be a grandma, she emptied a large cabinet and went garage-sale-ing for toys to fill it. “I want my grandkids to have fun when they come to see me,” she said.

Her wish came true. Our children and everyone else’s had a blast at Grandma Johnson’s. She encouraged all of us young moms to attend the Bible study at the church across the street, offering to babysit for our mob of little ones. We took her up on it, and when we’d return several hours later, worrying that she might be exhausted, we’d hear her say, “Back already?”

Time flew, because she was having fun.

After our kids had pulled every toy out of her cabinet, Mary and I would always stay to pick them up, encouraging our kids to help. But Mom would take them from our hands and plead, “Oh, let me do this after you leave. I have such a good time thinking back on the morning.”

“But it’s such a mess!” we’d say.

“But it’s a happy mess,” she would counter, “and I love it.”

I remember one morning when Mom took care of several of our kids and made chocolate chip cookies with them. Two year old Klaus had deposited a smudgy chocolate hand print on her white door at toddler height. Before we left I reached for a soapy rag to wipe it clean, but she stopped me. “Don’t touch that. It’s just darling.”

The next time I visited, she had drawn a square frame around the messy hand print and written “By Klaus,” along with the date. Another “happy mess.” I’ll be glad if I can be half the grandma Mom was.

Today I found some precious art-prints of my own. Four month old Micah had loved sitting on the kitchen counter in a blue Bumbo while he was here, watching us prepare meals. Yesterday I had set the Bumbo (with him in it) on the counter next to the glass cake dome, and he’d gently thumped it with his hand, the way every uncoordinated baby does. This afternoon when the sun hit that glass, half of the dome was covered with tiny prints this little guy had left with his dimpled, drool-soaked fingers, and I experienced the same rush of grandma-love Mom must have felt when she’d seen  Klaus’ chocolate hand print.

I confess to washing Micah’s art work off my cake dome today, but not before I mentally “framed” his creation in my memory. Maybe when he visits next, we’ll try to bake chocolate chip cookies together.

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6a)

And now they leave…

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Recently it’s been lively at our normally quiet cottage. That’s because Linnea, Adam, Micah and SKYLAR have been here. Neighbors have told me, “We love hearing your granddaughter’s adorable voice.” That tells me the volume has been high enough to travel through our screens and into theirs. Actually, as I’ve been waking up each morning, Skylar’s enthusiastic life-commentary has moved out the open downstairs windows and into my bedroom windows above, making me smile before my head has left the pillow. Her parents would agree with my assessment that she is a cheerful, LOUD child!

But Skylar and co. get on an airplane tomorrow morning, and I’ll come home to a very quiet house with no Skylar in it. I could cry already.

Skylar’s ongoing dialogs (and monologs) captivate me: “Oh. Jack sneezed. God bless you, Jack. Daddy is so cute and cuddly. How are you, girlfriend? I like spaghetti sauce. There’s a boo-boo on my knee. We go to the beach with sand and waves and rocks and bubbles. Mommy loves me.”

This little chatterbox is not yet two years old but never runs out of words. Her lilting voice and sparkling conversation have kept us laughing and happy, and I can’t imagine how much I’ll miss her.

Today Louisa, Birgitta and I had the fun of caring for big-girl Skylar and her baby brother most of the day while her parents had a well-deserved day off. Since Skylar never walks but always runs, the first thing she did was take a header onto the hardwood floor, absorbing the blow with her nose. Despite the swelling and bluish color, she plowed through her day with merriment and unbounded enthusiasm. As we walked around the neighborhood together, she identified the houses where Jack’s doggie friends live, remembering what each looks like. When he threw himself down on a lawn for a roll, Skylar shouted, “Happy dance! Happy dance!” and followed his lead.

She entertained the toddlers in Sunday school, expounded on the joys of a McDonald’s Happy Meal, read me a book at nap time, swam at the beach, and struggled up the dunes “by myself” singing “Climb, climb up Sunshine Mountain.” When I’ve heard her say, “I want Midgeeeee!” it’s been better music than any ipod favorite. I wish she wasn’t going!

I know every grandparent feels this way about their grandchildren, which simply proves what a good idea God had in setting families up this way. Just when we parents are beginning to feel our age, here come children-relatives who move us into a second childhood and bring good old fashioned fun along with them.

Without Skylar here, I wouldn’t have made sand cakes and topped them with black chocolate chip stones, or filled jars with colored water. I wouldn’t have sung my favorite childhood choruses, or danced in circles while blowing bubbles through a wand. Picking up dog poop wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun without my inquisitive audience, and I wouldn’t have acted out the story of The Three Pigs. Skylar was the inspiration for all of it and much more.

As they leave, I’ll try to remember what Nate often said: “Receive what you’re given.” I was given 18 days with Skylar and her family, and that gift will be my warm fuzzy for a long time.

“Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away!” (Jeremiah 29:6)