Category Archives: Grandparenting

Worth the Wait

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1990Scripture says children are a blessing (Psalm 127:5). I’ve always found that to be true and was excited, from about the age of 12, that one day I might have some of my own. When adulthood finally came, much to my delight, kids came, too, and as predicted, they brought blessings.

They also brought a big surprise — that the joys of being a parent continue even after children become adults.

In all my years of hands-on mothering, no one ever told me about this happy phenomenon. Nobody mentioned that receiving a heart-felt letter of love from a 30-something would trump even the charming artwork of a kindergartener. The loving touch of an adult child is, I believe, one of the parenting “rewards” the Bible promises.

When I was in the thick of full-time mothering with 7 youngsters at home, there were some days when I craved time away from these blessings. But not so with my adult kids.

7 plus 1.

(L. to R. Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Birgitta, me, Hans, Louisa, Nelson

Rather than the energy drain young children can be, time with adult children is more like a filling-up. It gives me great pleasure to sit back at family gatherings and listen to my brood talk together – whether it’s politics, theology, or just reminiscing. There’s something incredibly appealing about listening to and watching them.

And then there are the one-on-one moments when a depth of heart is shared in confidence. Little children are enchanting, and for many reasons I love being around them. But they don’t need friendship from their parents as much as guidance, protection, and teaching. Once they’ve grown up, however, children and their parents have the happy option to just be friends.

I especially enjoy when my adult kids find new ways to say “I love you.” For instance, late one night Louisa decided to make Swedish pancakes — long after I’d gone to bed.

Louisa's pancakeThe next morning, I came downstairs, opened the fridge, and found an “I love you” waiting for me – a pancake with my name on it. (She calls me Midge.) Despite being tired after a long day of work and errands, Louisa had thought kindly of her old mama, reaching out as a loving friend. Though the pancake was yummy, far more delicious was the connection she’d taken time to make.

As I gain in years, I know the relationships with my adult children will continue to be important. And another thing I’ve learned for sure: Children truly do bring blessing…. all the way along.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

Endless Ideas

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Emerald beach girlAfter having granddaughter Emerald with me for a week, my appreciation for children has had a fresh infusion of delight. The two of us fell into a happy routine of church day camp every morning and beach time every afternoon.

Between those events, we dug out the old craft bin and generated original artwork. We also refreshed our fairy garden in the front yard and arranged plastic animal families on the back deck.

 

Emerald's artwork

Whenever Emerald said, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea!” I knew a blessing was about to come my way. Parents frequently have too much to do and are flying fast through their days. But grandparents often have the time to say, “Good idea! Let’s try that.”

One evening while I was tidying up my sewing box, Emerald reached for my old pin cushion and said, “MeeMee, can I use this? ‘Cuz I’ve got a good idea!”

 

 

Pin cushion.I handed her the tomato-shaped ball full of straight pins. Without saying a word, she carefully removed all the pins and put them in a neat pile. Then, while softly singing a variety of songs, she began sticking the pins back into the tomato in what seemed to be random order.

When she finished, however, she turned the pin cushion toward me and said, “Wasn’t this a good idea?” I had to agree. My pin cushion never looked cuter.

Pin cushionI’ve used that tomato since it belonged to Mom many decades back, and never once did I think of making a face with the pins. Leave it to a child…

Sometimes God impresses us in a similar way — but better. And he seems never to do anything the same way twice. After all, look at his measureless originality in creating mankind. Even identical twins aren’t identical people. And because he never runs out of new ideas, he often works on us or leads us in ways we’ve never seen before… and may struggle to understand.

This might be why we sometimes resist what he’s doing. “It doesn’t make sense,” we say. “It just isn’t logical.” But God’s logic stretches so far beyond ours that even if we lived well into our 100’s and had the wisdom of age, we’d never figure him out.

So, when we ask God to guide us in some way, we can skip suggesting how he might do that. Instead we should leave the how-to up to him, while watching for something completely unexpected to happen. And that will most likely be related to our request…

…because when God says, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea!” it’s always a really good one.

“Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (Jeremiah 33:3, The Message)

Soul Food

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Hannah and ErikaMy parents, if they had lived past 100, would now be enjoying 26 great-grandchildren. The oldest in this group, Hannah and Erika, are twins born to my niece Julia and her husband Drew. This week, Hannah (left) and Erika (right) have forfeited a fun family vacation in Florida to go on a mission trip to Guatemala.

These two girls have already had some mission trip experience – when they were only five years old. As they left home to travel with their parents to Ecuador, I remember their great-grandma (my Mom) wondering aloud, “Will ‘my’ twins be safe from harm?”

Model girlsGod’s mind, however, was on a different kind of safety, that of the soul. His plan was to expose these little girls to new experiences that would establish compassion and caring in their young hearts.

While Hannah, Erika, and their parents were in Ecuador, mission team members were told of families who were so poor they had to pick through the garbage at the village dump in search of food. Even the Ecuadorian children were sometimes enlisted in this effort.

Though each American on the trip was deeply moved by such poverty, the twins internalized the information in a different way. One evening shortly after returning home, the family was sitting down to dinner. Erika looked at the abundance of delicious, healthy food in front of her and made an important decision. Getting out of her chair, she picked up her plate and carried it toward the kitchen sink.

Kitchen garbageJulia and Drew watched her, wondering what she was up to. Then, without hesitating or glancing back at her parents, she overturned her untouched plate of food into the garbage.

“Erika!” her mother said. “What are you doing?”

She was ready with a logical answer. “I’m sending my dinner to the kids in Ecuador. They’re hungry, and they’re looking for food in the garbage.”

Surely God was smiling on  this young soul.

Today, 11 years later, Hannah and Erika are once again on a mission trip. The fundraising letters they wrote made it clear that the impact of the first trip was still with them.

PalsTo quote Erika, “A few years back, my family went to Ecuador on a mission trip. This opened my eyes. On this trip I hope that I will grow closer to God. And I hope to be able to share God and who He is in me, with the people.”

And from Hannah. “I have been blessed with an amazing opportunity to witness to the wonderful children of Guatemala. Not everyone can go on a mission trip.”

God is a pro at managing the who, what, when, where, and how of our lives. Much of the time we have no idea what he’s doing in someone else’s soul, but once in a while he gives us a glimpse – and reminds us (quoting from a 16-year-old’s fundraising letter)…

“With God, nothing shall be impossible.” (Luke 1:37)