Category Archives: Grandparenting

Obituary of Mary Peterson

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obit-picMary Ellen (Johnson) Peterson, much loved wife of Bervin C. Peterson, was welcomed home to Jesus’ arms on September 24, 2016, at the age of 72. She was a woman of faith who loved the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Mary was born on December 8, 1943, to the late Carl and Evelyn (nee James) Johnson of Chicago and was raised in Wilmette, IL. She attended New Trier High School, followed by North Park College and Swedish Covenant School of Nursing (BSN, RN) where she worked as a head nurse before retiring to raise a family.

She considered herself privileged to be a stay-at-home mom in Northbrook where she embraced the art of homemaking and filled her home with love throughout 49 years of marriage. She and Bervin welcomed Luke (Emily), Julia (Drew), Karl, Andrew (Kimberly), Johanna (Drew), Stina (Evan), and Marta.

The constant thread running through Mary’s life was the Moody Church in Chicago, where she accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior in Sunday school as a nine-year-old. Later she served as a teacher in that Sunday school, a youth sponsor alongside her husband, the nursery committee chairwoman, a deaconess, and a mentor of young mothers in the Mom to Mom ministry. She also worked in the By the Hand Club for Kids, tutoring children in need, served with the Caris Crisis Pregnancy Center, and was in the leadership of Community Bible Study in Arlington Heights for 25 years.

Mary was a champion at hospitality, frequently hosting family gatherings, bridal and baby showers, prayer groups, Bible studies, and any other get-togethers looking for a place to meet. She was active with her children and grandchildren until the week before she died, welcoming the cleanup that inevitably followed time with these young children. She was always up for games, puzzles, or trips to the family’s home in Bethany Beach, Michigan, to play at the beach. Mary was never without a hug or word of encouragement for others – or maybe just gum and candy for those children and grandchildren she loved so much, who loved her right back.

Mary lived by the credo that tending to the needs of others was more important than tending to herself, and she did so every day. She is survived by her husband, her 7 children, 11 grandchildren with a 12th due in 2017, her sister Margaret (the late Nate Nyman), brother Tom Johnson (Leslie Jones) and many dear cousins, nieces, and nephews.

Family and friends are invited to gather on Wednesday, September 28, for visitation at 10:00 and the funeral service at 11:00, at Moody Church (1630 N. Clark St, Chicago, IL 60614). Interment will be at Rosehill Cemetery (5800 North Ravenswood Ave, Chicago, IL 60660)

In lieu of flowers, charitable donations may be made to Moody Church or Community Bible Study (790 Stout Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80921).

God’s Good Gift

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What would it feel like to be the center of God’s personal attention, receiving a really good gift from him? Yesterday we found out.

Two days ago, as Mary continued to rest, her oldest grandchildren went through the excruciating but important process of saying goodbye to the grandma they adore. One read a special letter she’d written for that moment. Another climbed into bed next to Mary, holding onto her as he recited a Scripture passage from memory.

mary-and-rubyBut dear little Ruby, almost inconsolable, was overcome with the sobs of a broken heart as she hugged her grandma goodbye. Even after she’d left the bedroom, her crying continued.

It had been a rough period in Ruby’s seven-year-old life. First, the family had had to put down one of their two beloved horses due to old age and health problems. Ruby suffered during that difficult goodbye. Then she learned a new baby was on the way, and she was sure it was going to be just one more boy, stacking the gender-deck against her – their 4 to her 1.

And then, worst of all, her grandma’s cancer began to speed up, making it harder for Ruby to spend time with her. How does a 2nd grader cope with such disappointment and stress? She’s too old to be unaware and too young to understand.

Just then, her parents got an idea. Maybe if she found out she would be getting a baby sister instead of another brother, she’d be able to focus on that arrival (in February) rather than her grandma’s departure (very soon).

Of course there was no guarantee it was a girl, but at least there was a 50/50 chance. So her mom, Jo, called for an ultrasound appointment. “How soon can you fit us in?”

Within hours Jo, her husband Drew, and their two oldest, Beck (9) and Ruby, were in the examining room. When they left the hospital, the answer to their gender-question was written on a white card, and none of them knew what it said.

After they’d made their way to Dairy Queen and were enjoying ice cream, Jo handed the closed card to Beck and Ruby. “How about if you tell us which it will be?” she said. And the children took the card, turned around for privacy, and opened it.

Jo and Drew knew they were taking a chance. What if it turned out to be yet another brother for Ruby? Would she dissolve in sobs? Would it make things worse?

img_4129But when Ruby turned around and looked at her mom, she didn’t have to say a word. The answer was written all over her face.  A girl!

This time it was Daddy who was weeping with his awareness of the Lord’s fantastic timing of this special gift. Though Ruby’s grandma will soon be gone, a baby sister will soon be here.

But God wasn’t finished even yet.

Yesterday evening, Jo sat next to her own mom, Mary, in her dimly-lit bedroom, hoping she would be able to take in the good news about a little granddaughter coming. When she told the story, Mary broke into a broad grin. Then, with heavy eyes half-closed, she softly said, “Great… Congratulations!” And these turned out to be her last spoken words.

img_4131The pink rose Jo left on the nightstand is a steady reminder to Mary and all of us that God sure does give good gifts.

“If you, then…. know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)

Mary’s Light

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The days before someone moves from earth to heaven are sacred ones, and Mary is in the middle of this remarkable time. Because she is, her family is there, too. God’s close presence is evident in her calm, quiet demeanor, and the rest of us are taking our cues from her. Coming close to the most spectacular life-event she will ever experience has not unnerved her at all. That’s because she’s completely ready.

Although Mary has become quiet and spends most of her time sleeping, she still has a will to greet her loved ones with a gentle smile when they enter the room, giving each a few loving words as they do. She’s in no pain and needs meds only to hold off nausea and get solid sleep at night. But even as her body loses its battle with disease, her face grows more beautiful by the day.

Mary’s grown children, nieces, and nephews have been a steady presence, making meals, doing laundry, and encouraging one another. But her 11 grandchildren have been kept at bay. That’s because most are very young, and little people bring noise, commotion, and a general hubbub.

peterson-grands

But that hasn’t stopped these grands from sending a stream of words and drawings to encourage their grandma, the older ones describing in words what she means to them. As this person whom they adore so much becomes quieter, their messages of love become louder. And more descriptive:

  • You are my hero.
  • I love how you love candy and gum.
  • I love all the things you do and the person you are.
  • You have an amazing, godly heart that leads people to God.
  • You have all the right in the world to freak out, but you are calm and faithful.
  • In my mind you are super-grandma.
  • You make me think anything is possible. You make me want to run a 10,000 mile run, and I hate running!
  • Even though your troubles are big, you still are positive and love others and God.
  • Your heart is filled with joy, and you spread that joy to me.
  • You love when you are at your darkest days.
  • I love how you love the game of baseball.
  • You are very generous.
  • I will always and forever love you, even if you’re not here.
  • You’ve made me a strong Christian.
  • You mean so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo much to me.
  • You’ve been a light in the world, showing all the traits of a godly woman.
  • God has used you in so many ways in his plan.
  • You like to give gum to people from your car of wonders.
  • I will never, ever stop loving you.

And one more, my personal favorite:

  • Grandma, you are like a flashlight in a world full of darkness.

This grandmother has done a good job “shining for the Lord” in front of her grands, and they’ve all seen this light in her. A while back she told me that her greatest concern in leaving them is not being able to continue coaxing them toward Jesus.

One of her older grandchildren wrote out Isaiah 14:27 for her, which says nothing can stop God’s plan for a person’s life. And apparently his plan is that Mary’s life, including her godly glow as a grandma, will soon end. Yet her influence will shine for decades to come.

When Mary was asked if she had any prayer requests, her whispered answer was consistent with the rest of her life: “Pray that I’ll finish strong and give all the glory to God,” a couple of brightly shining requests.

“Prove yourself to be blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated…. in a generation among whom you are seen as a bright [flash] light in a world of darkness.” (Philippians 2:15, loosely translated from the Amplified version)