Category Archives: Grieving

Jack’s Lament

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It’s been nearly a year since I posted as a guest blogger on Midge’s site, but I have an important reason for wanting to write tonight.

IMG_0891Because I turned 13 in October, I am now 91 years old – and feeling my age. Like many 90-somethings, I can’t hear very well and no longer notice when someone raps on the door. The vet told Midge I have cataracts in both eyes, and one eye has a small tumor under the lid, keeping it in a constant state of irritation.

But my biggest problem is a degenerative spinal disease that causes me pain, along with arthritis that has literally frozen my back leg joints. Going up stairs is almost impossible, and I don’t like it when Midge tries to help by lifting my rear – it just hurts too much. With such bad hip dysplasia, my whole back end is in crisis.

I also have a skin disease that causes me to lose hair in big splotches, exposing raw irritation. The hair does grow back, but the infection just moves elsewhere. My heavy panting is always a problem, even in the cooler weather. And to top it all off, I’ve got a belly filled with something called fat tumors, some the size of golf balls, others like baseballs. One of those tumors near my shoulder is responsible for my limp.

And then of course there’s my doggie dementia, which I wrote about earlier. It keeps me confused and wondering what’s coming next, which isn’t a good feeling.

You blog readers have always been kind to me. That’s why I wanted to write you tonight. You see, this might be my last post.

TiredI know Midge has been agonizing about what to do with me, since she is about to leave town for quite a while and knows I’ll be searching for her every day. But I’m not the least bit worried. She shouldn’t worry, either. My life is happy and full of love, and all along, I’ve felt God’s hand of blessing on me.

A hearty thanks to you, cyber-friends, for being so good to me. And now it’s time for another deep, snoring sleep on my comfy bed.

Night-night….

God made the animals…. and saw that it was good. (Genesis 1:25)

Update on Mary

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Living lifeGreetings to all you blog readers!

My last word to you about Mary’s pancreatic cancer was, “No news is good news.” Until something changed, she thought it best not to continue posting about her. I want to assure you tonight that this is still true: nothing about the way she feels has changed. She says she’s fine; she looks good; and she’s got plenty of energy! Actually, she amazes the rest of us with the busy schedule she keeps, outdoing even her youthful, healthy past!

But this coming Tuesday, June 9, will be an important day for Mary. She has decided to have a full body scan (along with blood work), at the recommendation of her doctor. It’s been 6 months since her last scan, which showed cancer in three places. And so, as is her pattern, she’s asking you to pray.

Mary wants whatever the Lord decides is best for her. If she learns the cancer has spread, she says she’ll be ok with that, though of course it would be a disappointment. If the cancer has stayed the same, that will be wonderful news. And if by God’s doing her cancer has lessened or even disappeared, all of us will be singing, “Hallelujah!” But as Mary says, we ought to be singing hallelujah every day.

Today she reminded me of one of her favorite acronyms: Acronym

So, in whatever way God leads on Tuesday, Mary intends to follow. In the mean time, she mentioned these three prayer requests:

  1. Pray for an absence of worry and a good night’s sleep on Monday.
  2. Pray for a spirit of acceptance for whatever is discovered on Tuesday.
  3. Pray that she will be a good example to others of someone who lives by faith in Jesus Christ.

“The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

[ We will share Mary’s news on Wednesday’s blog post. ]

 

A Widow’s Need

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All this week my thoughts have taken up residence down the street with my newly-widowed neighbor, Betty. She has begun her adjustment to life as a no-longer-married woman and realizes it’ll be a change unequalled by any other in her life.

Thankfully she knows many women who’ve already walked this route, myself included, and we are ready, willing, and able to hold her as close as needed.

As I’ve prayed for Betty, my mind has been flooded with examples from my early days of widowhood when God let me see him afresh. Though I ‘d loved him dearly before Nate died, I came to love him more personally afterwards.

The closetIn particular I remember a morning standing in front of my closet, trying to decide what to wear. Looking back and forth across the hanging clothes, I felt powerless to choose. I’d been bombarded with decisions for a couple of weeks, some small, some large, and hadn’t done very well in making any of them.

Friends and family had moved in to assist, but choosing an outfit that morning was all up to me. I felt sad and very much alone standing in front of my closet and asked myself if I should just go back to bed. I could keep my ‘jammies on and escape the clothing decision altogether.

Starting to weep, I knew the only thing to do was pray, and the only prayer that came to mind was, “Help me, God.” I’d prayed that prayer a thousand times in my few weeks as a widow, but never over choosing clothes.

Such a request seemed beneath God, but I had no other option. “Lord, what should I wear?” And then I just stood there, not expecting him to answer me.

Suddenly my eyes fell on a shirt I hadn’t “seen” in a while, and as I stared at it without moving, God put a thought into my head. “How about that one? It would go good with those pants over there, and why don’t you add that sweatshirt from the shelf above?”

Most people would laugh at this, since praying that way seems like a dumbing-down of our almighty God. But after a wife has leaned on a husband for decades, her first dilemma is wondering how she’ll stay standing without him. That’s the moment when God offers to be her supportive other-half.  He is practical, knowing each need and delivering flawless advice to any widow who wants it.

That’s why, when I dressed in the clothes God chose for me that day, I knew no crisis would be too small for his involvement. And because he was willing to choose my clothes back then, I know he’ll answer Betty’s needs in the weeks and months ahead, no matter how large…. or small.

“The widow who is really in need….  continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.” (1 Timothy 5:5)