Still There

Mary’s original cancer diagnosis took place the day after Valentine’s Day, February 15, 2014. Almost immediately she and Bervin began testifying to God’s ongoing work within the situation and their awareness of his constant presence with them.

Ten days and lots of tests later, Mary, Bervin, and several of their adult children met with a team of doctors to get their recommendations. It was going to be a difficult meeting at best as a handful of highly-reputed doctors explained what was happening inside Mary’s body, along with what they felt should be done about it. Whatever was said in that room would shape the weeks and months ahead.

PeacefulAmazingly, Mary wasn’t at all nervous. That’s because she knew that literally thousands of people (including strangers) were praying for God’s peace to envelop her, confident he was hearing and would deliver.

When the meeting began, with each doctor taking a turn, a remarkable drama unfolded. As Mary told it, “I’ve always been on the praying end of a crisis, but this time I was the one being prayed for. The presence of God’s Spirit in that conference room was palpable. I saw it in the behavior of the doctors and in the faces of my children.”

She went on to say, “In my 70 years, I’ve never felt the strong, literal presence of the Lord that powerfully.”

Some people feel that since we can’t see the spirit world, we can’t be sure it exists, but Mary testified otherwise. During that meeting she became aware of God’s presence in the room. “He was moving among us, and it was very real as he worked to accomplish answers to those many requests.”

She said that as she listened to the doctors, she was completely enveloped in a bubble of peace. Because of the nature of the meeting, experiencing such tranquility was completely unnatural. Surely it was God’s supernatural gift.

Absence of stressThe Lord isn’t stingy with this kind of unusual peace. He offers it to anyone who wants it, in any set of circumstances. He says, “Ask me, and then trust me to deliver it.” We don’t even need a life-and-death crisis for him to wrap us in that same unlikely peace.

Today Mary is facing a new crisis even more severe than the first. But the same supernatural benefits she experienced 9 months ago are still available to her: God is still powerfully present, and he’s still willing to answer prayer requests for his mysterious supernatural peace, right in the middle of all the negatives. (See #2 below.)

Jesus said, “The Advocate, the Holy Spirit…. will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.” (John 14:26-27)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I praise God for the good gifts he continues to give, like being able to cook dinner for our local adult kids tonight, which I love to do.
  2. Please pray that when I wake up during the night, negative thoughts about what’s ahead won’t keep me from getting back to sleep.

Mary’s Question

Last Saturday Mary and I shared an afternoon of meaningful conversation while sipping warm spiced tea on a blustery cold day. “Let’s sit in the sun,” she said, appreciating the extra warmth on the couch cushions.

Though Mary’s cancer and the threat it imposes is the #1 topic on everyone’s mind, it’s difficult to know how to best talk about it, or if we should bring it up at all. From her point of view, she doesn’t want to cause others to weep over the situation, and the rest of us don’t want to add to her burden by dwelling on it.

SistersBut on Saturday, the conversation of two sisters flowed in the usual way, and we found ourselves talking through some of the really tough stuff. Mary wondered what she ought to be doing during these days of feeling fine and having good energy. Though she’s made up her mind to live each day to the fullest, what does that look like, hour to hour, day to day?

As we chatted about her options, her conclusion was that she just wanted to do the “normal” things she’s always done: spend time with the Lord; care for her home, family, and friends; continue in her church ministries.

And that’s the thing about a life submitted to God. When time threatens to grow short, no additions, corrections, or changes need to be made. There’s no scrambling to get things right.  “Continuing as usual” is the high-road thing to do. Mary can simply keep doing what she’s been doing all along, and God will continue to bless her and also those she touches.

Oswald Chambers says, “A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God.”

Mary doesn’t have to make big changes, because her M.O. has never been to get brownie points with the Lord by doing good deeds. She hasn’t been keeping score by consciously tallying up which “righteous acts” will please God most.

Instead she has spent decades studying the Bible to figure out what obedience looks like and then putting that into practice.  Whether she’s running a meeting from behind a podium or sitting on the ground comforting an ailing animal, it’s all the same to her. Obedience to God’s assignments releases his power into Mary’s life and also the lives of those around her.

The Holy Spirit living within a person becomes visible in the way that person spends her time. Mary has never worried about whether or not she’s being “used” by God but simply loves him with her whole heart, and day-to-day goes about loving others more than herself.

“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17)

Praising and Praying with Mary

Tonight Bervin is both my praise (he’s a rock!) and my prayer request (that he wouldn’t be consumed with my cancer to the exclusion of other activities). I thank God for him and love his heart through these many months. Pray for strength to match whatever is ahead.

A Better Day

No life is without its sudden surprises, and all of us have had shocking news at one time or another. I vividly remember the moment Nate and I were told of the mass on his liver, which ultimately turned out to be pancreatic cancer.

On Tuesday of this week, Mary and her family received one of those knock-down punches when they learned that her cancer, held at bay for 8 months, had suddenly returned. It was an awful day, most of which was spent in clinical waiting rooms, testing areas, and doctor’s offices. But even after heading home, their misery continued, since they had to deliver the bad news to each of their 7 grown children.

Wednesday, however, was a better day.

The human heart wants to lean into hope, and Mary and Bervin have an abundance of it, since it’s always rooted in Jesus Christ. Tonight Mary said, “I’m feeling good right now, and sometimes I completely forget I have cancer. Then someone will say something about life after death, or I’ll get a thought about the fleeting nature of time, and I remember. I guess it takes a while for the full truth to set in.”

She continued. “Sometimes, when I’m thinking about my limited future, I wonder about the disease itself and what will happen when it takes over. But as soon as doubts and fears creep in, I go back to what I’m sure of: God’s promises. At that point I need to re-claim them, and may have to do it again and again.”

Mary says that when her thoughts get shaky, she asks herself a simple question. “What does the Bible say?” Then she reminds herself that if it’s in God’s Word, she believes it.

Feeling fineFor example, when the Lord says he’ll never leave her no matter what, she can depend on that. When it says his grace will be sufficient to her every need, she can stop being nervous about how bad it might get. When it says God is her sustainer, she knows he’ll carry her through anything that comes.

As she puts it, “I want to base my outlook on the facts, not the other way around.”

And the fact is, today was another very good day.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray that my situation would not cause anyone to have a heavy heart.
  2. Praise for a wonderful family that is surrounding me with love and care.