Category Archives: Hearing from God

So Jealous

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved babies. As a child I begged God to make my dolls come to life and fantasized about one day having a big family. So when I was five-years-old and learned Mom was going to have a real live baby, I was thrilled. Although I wasn’t allowed to name him, my parents told me he would be “my” baby brother, a dream come true.

Tommy and MargaretSometimes Mom let me feed him or hold him, but she never let him out of her sight. It didn’t take long to figure out he wasn’t really “mine”, and eventually I sensed he had become more important than I was. The camera clicked only in his direction, and when company came, it was all about the new baby.

Gradually, all the good parts of having a baby (like letting me own him) were eliminated, and the bad parts (like everyone ignoring me) increased. Feeling set aside, I became very jealous.

Jealousy is hideous. It produces intolerance, suspicion, and bitterness, but worst of all, it always grows. As little Tommy grew, so did my jealousy. By the time he was a pre-schooler, I teased him continually, which required steady reprimanding from both parents and filled our home with friction.

It wasn’t until my friends became more important than pestering a little brother that my jealousy slowly subsided. I took an honest look at young Tom and saw he actually had a few good points. And by the time I went off to college, I missed him a great deal. When he eventually approached me with questions about dating, I was honored.

In recent years I’ve studied what God thinks of jealousy, and it’s not good. Although he has the right to be jealous over people because we all belong to him, the rest of us put ourselves on several very condemning lists when we’re jealous.

For starters, God equates jealousy with drunkenness, sexual immorality, wickedness and corruption. Later he adds idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, rage and discord as jealousy’s bedfellows. Another list cites slander, anger, quarreling and arrogance. None of that is company I want to keep.

Tom and MargToday Tom is absolutely dear to me, a champion brother for whom I have nothing but respect and gratitude. When I see how close I came to letting jealousy destroy this valuable relationship, I’m overwhelmed with God’s grace (and Tom’s) in letting me off the hook. And, no thanks to me, the Lord protected and preserved our sibling bond through that ugly storm.

Amazingly Tom has never retaliated for my jealous misbehavior… unless of course he’s got that scheduled for next week.

“Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties or drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and… jealousy.” (Romans 13:13)

A Sure Thing

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I often think of Nate and his present-day surroundings. He’s four years gone from us, which translates to four years in the presence of Jesus. Scripture gives an inkling about what he’s experiencing, but for the most part it’s all a question mark.

???????????????????????????????While walking the Lake Michigan wave-line, which I often do, I keep my eyes on the stones underfoot. Because of winter’s wild waves, beach glass and choice rocks can easily be found at this time of year. Although I carried a collection bag, my mind was a million miles away, and I hadn’t picked up a single stone.

I was walking in a familiar place, but where was Nate walking? What was he doing? He’s already met Jesus and no doubt has been supernaturally humbled, falling to the ground as we all probably will when we see our Lord. Has Jesus touched him on the shoulder the way he did John? (Revelation 1:17) Has he said, “Don’t be afraid. Let me show you some of the marvels of Paradise and tell you things that will astound you.”?

Is he learning of specific times a guardian angel saved him from accidents? Or how his prayers were answered? Or what Jesus’ parables mean, even the ones that didn’t get written down? Has he been given answers to all of his questions?

As I walked along the beach, I felt left out. I know I’m headed for the same miraculous experiences Nate is now having and wouldn’t dream of rushing God’s time table to get there, but I just wanted to understand at least part of what was happening to him today. That’s all.

Watching hundreds of stones pass beneath my toes as I walked but picking up none, my eye suddenly landed on something special. Not even half an inch long, it was a stone of nondescript grey. The reason it caught my eye, though, was its square shape and the perfect heart carved inside it.

Heart rockI picked it up and stared at it. As I did, God flooded my mind with a message. “I realize you’re frustrated not knowing what’s happening to Nate. You’re also bothered by not being able to watch my interaction with him or listen in to our conversation. But what about the conversation I’m trying to have with you today? See that stone in your hand? With a million rocks under your feet, what were the odds you’d find that one?”

I knew the answer: a million to one.

Although there’s much I don’t know, I do know one critical thing. Jesus loves me and told me today. And as I turned toward home, I contributed to the conversation by saying, “Lord, I love you, too.”

“You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.” (1 Peter 1:8)

Talk to me.

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The brainWe all know God hears us when we pray. Scripture says he sees our requests as they’re forming in our brains, way ahead of their reaching our mouths. By the time the words are rolling off our tongues, he’s already got the whole paragraph.

These promises are from Isaiah 65, and in context God is (1) speaking to the children of Israel and (2) referring to our perfect existence in the New Heaven and Earth. But I view these verses not just for Israel but also for us, and not just future-distant but for now, based on God being immutable and absolute. What he promised for them, he can also do for us. And what he guarantees in the future, he can also do now.

God is today who he always has been.

Literally hundreds of us have been calling out to him to answer prayers concerning my sister Mary as she walks a road common to many: cancer, surgery, and chemo. (So far, radiation has not been recommended.) For a month we’ve been praying against the ravaging nausea most chemo patients experience, and this morning we learned God answered in the affirmative.

YesWe can rejoice that Mary reported no vomiting has taken place since her infusion yesterday, and only mild nausea has come and gone during the last 24 hours. This surely is God having said yes. He hasn’t told us why she suffered horrible nausea before, and he hasn’t promised she won’t again.

But for today, we can lift our hands and rejoice with Mary singing, “Thank you, Father!”

Prayer is mysterious, but one thing is certain. It is an interaction with The Almighty. Though he doesn’t give us all yeses, sometimes he does. Skeptics say, “You mean there’s no rhyme or reason to it? It’s just random? Why would you ascribe a lack of nausea to answered prayer?”

We have some very good reasons:

  • Because God says there is power in prayer.
  • Because God promises to listen to our prayers and answer them.
  • Because Jesus told his disciples to pray.
  • Because Jesus himself prayed.

And since we believe those 4 things, we continue to pray.

In the same biblical chapter quoted above, the Lord also reprimands those who choose not to talk to him through prayer. He says he had tried to engage his people in conversation, but unbelievably they weren’t interested. God said, “I called, but you did not answer, I spoke but you did not listen.” ( v. 12) And he follows that with some pretty harsh judgment over this group.

Today God is still calling all of us to communicate with him, and so we continue to pray for Mary and many others, because when he answers in the affirmative, he makes our hearts sing!

“Before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m praising God for answered prayer about my nausea! Nothing but mild twinges this time, and I even ate dinner!
  2. The feeding tube continues to be a problem. Pray for an earlier date with the specialist.