You didn’t ask.

FOBMary and I share the same taste in movies. High on our list is a set of clean-cut family films, Father of the Bride I and II. Tonight as Mary and I talked on the phone, a line from the second movie was rolling around in my head.

Nina and George, a middle-aged couple trying to cope with life’s changes, decide to sell their spectacular big home. Both are deeply attached to it but think a new place might bring a fresh start.

Immediately after selling, they learn their buyer is about to raze the house and build two in its place. George plants himself between the house and the wrecking ball, determined to save “his” home.

Mr. HabeebWith great alarm he says, “You didn’t tell me you were going to destroy it!”

Mr. Habeeb (the buyer) says, “You didn’t ask.”

*             *              *              *              *

 

There’s no way we can think to ask all the important questions in life. Had George thought to ask, he wouldn’t have sold.

In the last 40 days, Mary and Bervin have been bombarded with medical information, and at the end of each instruction they’ve been asked, “Do you have any questions?”

Most of us are overloaded at moments like that and usually say, “I don’t think so.”

Isn’t it nice to know there is a place without any pressure to ask the right questions? It’s in our relationship with God.

He says a time will come when he’ll send answers to our questions before we even ask them, and Mary and Bervin have experienced that already.

photo(118)For example, yesterday Mary’s feeding tube clogged. Despite Bervin’s mechanical know-how, he couldn’t get it functioning, and Mary was without nutrition for 24 hours. So today they headed back to the hospital for a repair or, if necessary, a painful surgical procedure to correct the problem.

Despite a valiant effort on the part of two “tube experts,” the flow remained blocked, and over hours of time, Mary was admitted and prepped for the procedure. At the last minute, however, a new tech appeared. “Let me try,” he said, and all of a sudden the tube cleared.

How often is a patient told, “You can climb off the table, ditch the hospital gown, and get dressed.” Mary and Bervin hadn’t asked God to spare her from the procedure, but he gave that anyway.

In another example, just before Mary transferred from the hospital to the hotel last week, a 30-something man with a serious infection was rolled into the room across the hall. A sad young wife and the man’s troubled parents told Mary this was his 4th surgery in a short time, and stress was running high.

As she sat in her empty room awaiting discharge papers, she wished she had something to give them. Just then a gift was delivered to Mary’s room, which she immediately shared with the folks across the hall. She hadn’t asked, but God had answered.

In Father of the Bride II, Mr. Habeeb gave George’s house back to him, but not before George had emptied his bank account. But our generous God delivers his positive answers…. without charge.

“I will answer them before they even call to me.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for the friendly competent staff at Mayo’s
  2. Praise for the cleared tube and aborted surgery
  3. Pray the change in formula will bring relief from abdominal gas pain
  4. Pray for serious weight gain, now that Mary is down to 109 lbs, at 5’7”.

Are you willing?

In one accordRecently a small group of Mary’s friends gathered with her for prayer. The first lady to pray said something that impacted me: “Lord, you know that Mary has always said yes to you, so…”

I don’t recall what came after the “so” because my mind got stuck on what came before it. The yes-to-God part. Though I’d never thought of Mary’s obedience quite like that, it was true.

Some months ago I wrote a blog about our mom being quick to say yes to us and every other kid she knew, wanting to make life fun and happy. But today I thought of Mary saying yes to God as having taken it one step further.

Committee MeetingsThe results of her nod to God’s requests have been many: attending endless committee meetings, struggling through speaking gigs, participating in panel discussions, mentoring young moms, entertaining hundreds of guests, loaning out her car, keeping company overnight, teaching Bible studies, tutoring inner-city children, having the neighborhood’s “funnest” home, and much more.

Saying yes to God dictates saying no to lots of other things, monitoring every commitment with eternity’s values in view. But Mary has done that for decades, and the most impressive part is that she didn’t waver when God asked her to say yes to cancer.

We may think she didn’t have an option, since cancer came without her knowledge. A yes-or-no decision wasn’t required. But in response to learning about it, she could have lashed out in anger against God, or been consumed with self-pity, or become jealous of others who don’t have cancer, or said “Why me?” Instead she’s handled her diagnosis with grace, managing her fears and doubts by leaning harder into Scripture’s promises and working to take them at face value.

Looking up to MaryMy many blog posts about Mary might be thought of as adding pressure to her already high-pressure health situation. But because it’s Mary, I know it won’t. Long ago she willingly took on the role of being a good example; and it began way back… the minute she got me as a younger sister.

My greatest hope is that I’ll be looking up to her example of saying yes to God for many years to come.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” (Psalm 143:10)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. That in the next 11 days before surgery her body will absorb food better so she can gain the weight she lost
  2. For assurance from God daily that he is close to her and caring for her
  3. That she will be cautiously optimistic and simultaneously realistic in her expectations

Feeble and Weak?

Although I don’t usually post blogs on weekends, hearing from Mary is always a blessing.

Yesterday she explained how she has felt feeble and weak at various times during the difficult 2 week process of pinpointing her cancer and determining how extensive it is. But she has marveled at the truth of God’s Word where he says when we’re at our weakest, he’s at his strongest.

Mary has experienced those fresh bursts of strength every day, exactly when she’s felt wobbly. Yesterday she read two encouraging Scriptures:

“Strengthen your feeble arms and knees.” (Hebrews 12:12)

“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come’.” (Isaiah 35:3-4)

Karl pushing EvieGod came today, strengthening her with 3 pieces of good news:

  • All Mayo Clinic tests searching for cancer apart from in the pancreas came back “normal.”
  • She and Bervin will be leaving Mayo Clinic to visit Luke’s family near Minneapolis tomorrow (2 grandchildren).
  • By tomorrow night, Mary will be sleeping in her own bed, in Chicago, resting up for surgery in mid-March.

God knows exactly how to take feeble-and-weak and grow it into strong.

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for normal EKG, colonoscopy, and blood work today.
  2. Pray for safe travels tomorrow covering many miles.
  3. Praise and gratitude for overwhelming love and prayer support from so many, which has “moved her to tears.”