Category Archives: Heaven

Back to School

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Birgitta and I spent today with hundreds of students and their parents getting “oriented” to college life at the University of Iowa. Although I was old enough to be the parent of some of the other parents, I tried not to dwell on my Medicare membership. My outfit also bothered me. Although I worked hard on deciding what to wear, in the end I looked like I’d just finished a shift at Target.

Birgitta opted to stay in the dorm these two nights while I slept at a Super 8. But we spent much of the day together getting acquainted with the university, the place she’ll call home in August. Before breakfast she’d already perused her thick packet of materials and was far more knowledgeable about the school than I. But that’s how this whole chapter of her life has been. She did all the phoning, emailing, contacting, questioning and filling out of endless forms. I did nothing, which was evident when she handed me my Hawkeye dinner ticket this afternoon. “You’re all set, Mom,” she said, probably wondering if I’d remember where I put the ticket by dinner time.

I miss Birgitta already. She’s throwing herself into orientation activities and is pumped to get started, wanting to take advantage of more university opportunities than 24 hour days will allow. Her eyes lit up when one speaker mentioned that the school offers 500 student-run organizations, 200 extra-curricular clubs, 22 languages, 100 majors and 24 varsity teams (Big Ten football among them). She also loves the idea of attending a school with over 30,000 kids and a freshman class of nearly 5000. But she’s my baby, and when the time comes to leave her, I’ll probably cry.

Walking between meetings today, we talked about her father and how much we missed his presence at this event, the only college orientation in our family he’s been unable to attend. But we smiled thinking of the gusto with which he would have thrown himself into these two days.

Nate graduated from a Big Ten school, actually two of them: Northwestern University and also the University of Illinois Law School. Although he wasn’t into sports, he was into the countless advantages of a giant university and made it a priority to identify all that was offered as soon as he arrived on campus… just like this daughter.

Nate loved school and the concept of ongoing education. He’d have been a lifelong university student if he could have. When I hear Birgitta talk about shaping her four undergraduate years toward a grad degree, I know this apple hasn’t fallen too far from its paternal tree. If Nate had been with us at the university today, he’d have told his seventh-born to think about the verse of Scripture that had influenced him more than any other. He’d have reminded her she was at the beginning of a brand new race set before her by God himself and should run it with endurance.

I’ll be praying for her endurance… and maybe Nate will, too. And despite what scholars think, I’ll be wondering if Nate is cheering in that multitude of witnesses, watching the race from his spot in a heavenly grand stand.

“Since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” (Hebrews 12:1)

Doggy Dress-up

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We might live in a dog-eat-dog world, but plenty of people still love dogs, and Nate was one of them. When he’d arrive home from work, Jack would trot over to receive the head-pats he loved. Nate ascribed personalities to each pet and considered an animal’s point of view. He also loved the soft feel of their ears.

There was one oddity, however, about Nate’s involvement. He liked to dress them up. When I’d ask why, he’d just shrug. “They’re so cute that way.”

When our girls used to play with dolls, he’d borrow an extra dress, hat, whatever they would loan. If an outfit was too small for a dog, he’d dress one of the cats. If no clothes were available, he’d use his hankie as a babushka, tied under a furry chin. “Get the camera!” he’d say.

In an effort to figure out Nate’s fascination with animal dress-up, I’d ask, “Is this about the miniature clothes? Or maybe a wish that our pets were human? An idea for a new business? An underlying desire to have more children?”

But in 40 years, I never figured it out. Our kids would watch their father in amusement, enjoying his laughter but chalking it up to the foibles of an older generation.

We’ve all seen TV spots featuring animals doing human things: the horse that counts with his hoof, the chimp that obeys sign language, the dog that alerts his family to a fire. We love them all. Maybe Nate’s fascination with dressing our pets was an effort to elevate them a notch, as these shows tried to do.

My best guess was that a dog wearing a sweater and glasses, sitting patiently with a serious expression, was a visual oxymoron Nate relished. His business world forced rationality and logic, and at home he needed to be the voice of reason in every discussion. A cat in a bonnet was jolly comic relief.

Today at the beach a couple dragged two yellow kayaks through the sand to the shoreline. Sitting proudly in one of them was a small white poodle. As they passed me, his owner said, “He loves a good ride.”

I saw what she meant after she snapped on her own life jacket and then produced one for the dog. Although the lake had white caps today, this poodle stood at the bow, leaning into breaking waves like the ornamental figurehead on an ancient ship. Even while taking water in the face, he never flinched.

When they returned an hour later, the dog still hadn’t had enough. Although they set him on the sand, his choice was to sit back in the kayak wearing his life jacket, gazing at the waves. Nate would have been all over this scenario, asking questions of the couple, patting the dog and loving the outfit. I wish he could have been there.

I believe the following “outlandish statements” are true:

Animals matter to God, because they’re a part of his “good” creation, and he’s pleased when we delight in them. In heaven, animals will be there as part of creation’s restoration, and when we’re in conversation with them, we can ask Nate’s pets exactly what they thought of their earthly outfits.

On second thought, they may be dressed in heavenly outfits at the time we ask. If that’s true, Nate’s joy will know no bounds.

”As I watched, I heard an eagle that was flying in midair [in heaven] call out in a loud voice… to the inhabitants of the earth…” (Revelation 8:13)

BFF

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As Birgitta readies for university life, she and I have talked about the friendships awaiting her, some she will treasure for life. Although she’s already made many friends, some very special ones are in her immediate future.

This week one of my own lifelong friends visited me, a “girl” I met during junior year in college whom I’ve loved ever since. Because she is one of my Widow Warriors, she gives good counsel and lavishes encouragement on my adjustment to being without Nate.

Carole lost her husband to cancer 14 years ago, after 26 years of marriage and seven children, three natural-born and four adopted. In addition to fostering 65 other children, she teaches crochet classes for adults, sings in her church choir and enjoys having her daughter’s family live with her – nine people in a 1200 square foot house.

Carole and I are close in age, sharing in senior moments and decreasing in physical stamina at the same time. Despite our living 800 miles apart with only rare visits, our friendship seamlessly picks up where it left off and never runs out of talking points.

Years ago when we got together with mobs of young children, Carole and I would begin a conversation that continued throughout the visit, whether it was two days or two weeks. If the kids needed something and tried to cut in, we trained them to stand and wait next to us until we turned and said “Yes?” Sometimes they had a long wait, but that only served to separate the important requests from the unnecessary. If they decided it wasn’t worth it, they’d step away, and we could keep chatting. After all, with 14 kids, there was a great deal of ground to cover.

This fall will mark 45 years that Carole and I have been friends. What is it that holds people together over that many years, despite the obstacles of distance, busyness and infrequent contact? Part of it is growing through life’s changes simultaneously: marriage, children, mortgages, middle age. Another part of it must be knowing each other so well that all false pretense is gone. It’s a blessing to be with someone who doesn’t distance themselves, no matter what you do or say. Close friends are also bound by their beliefs and standards. They share at least some commonality in the things that make them tick.

We all know the misery of “high maintenance friendships,” relationships that require walking on egg shells and making contact on a scheduled basis “or else.” Other relationships are lopsided with one person doing all the taking, the other all the giving. And we’ve all known people who ride a never-ending emotional roller coaster to the point that we never know what to expect when we’re together.

Today I was thinking about heaven, as I do every day, wondering about Nate’s friendships. Scripture tells us Jews and Gentiles who share a belief in Christ will sit down together at God’s banquet table with some of the famous characters of the Bible. If we’ll be chatting over a meal with some of them, no doubt we’ll be making contact with all of them. And since heaven will be about harmony and happiness, my guess is we’ll be long-term friends (really long-term) with everyone!

God is all about relationships, between himself and people, and also person to person. I know he will bless Carole and I with a continued friendship in the next world, most likely to brand new levels. So I’m praying Birgitta will seek out friendships this fall that will be satisfying and long-term, too, during her years in school. Hopefully they’ll remain strong all the way into eternity.

“I tell you this, that many Gentiles will come from all over the world — from east and west — and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the feast in the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matthew 8:11)