Does “Father Know Best”?

God is full of surprises. He doesn’t think like we do, plan like we do, or respond to circumstances like we do. He has no limitations and never runs out of ideas. He never has to rack his brain or wonder, “What should I do?”

That’s because he’s God, in the top slot, in all categories.

Father Knows BestGrowing up in the 1950’s, my family didn’t watch much TV. Television was new, and there wasn’t a whole lot to look at. By 10:30 PM, the national anthem was played, and all programming ceased until morning. One show we did find to watch, though, was “Father Knows Best.”

Mary and I have sweet memories of our relationship with the Andersons, a family much like ours with two girls, one boy, a home in the suburbs and a daddy who walked in each evening wearing a hat and carrying a newspaper. Tonight we watched one of those black and white episodes from 1958. Just hearing the theme music was a thrill, and seeing our old “friends” again was a pleasure.

Saint PeterIn tonight’s story, the father, Jim, finds himself facing Saint Peter at heaven’s pearly gates. Peter is assessing whether or not Jim ought to “get in.” When he questions him about a decision he made, Jim says, “That was an especially difficult one.”

Peter says, “Naturally it was difficult. It’s part of our Master Plan. We do that purposefully. We keep throwing difficult choices in your path to test you.”

Without realizing it, this script line had made a scriptural point. And because of God’s perfect analysis of every person and what each needs, we can believe there are exceedingly important reasons for the “difficult choices” that are “thrown” at us.

I think back to 5 years ago at this time, when we knew nothing about Nate’s cancer but were about to find out. God had already decided on the test, had put the details in place, and had lit the circumstantial fuse. The difficult choices Saint Peter mentioned were barreling toward our family. The same can be said of Mary’s cancer just before it was discovered 5 months ago.

In each case, once we got the bad news, each day after that became a mini-test within the larger test, all of them exceedingly difficult. Television-Peter summed up the dilemma by saying, “It’s the decisions you make that shape you into what you are.”

While we knit our brows and wrestle with the tough tests, there’s a choice we can make up front that will facilitate the rest: choosing to believe each test does come from an all-wise God, a Father who always does know best.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

A Timely Tip-Off

Aunt Agnes and meMy wall calendar has a name on yesterday’s date: “Aunt Agnes.” My orange pen is kept busy marking birthdays, anniversaries, and significant death dates on the different squares. Aunt Agnes’ name is in parentheses, indicating she has passed away. She died 34 years ago and would have been 111 today, had she lived.

Since Aunt Agnes died, there’s been a great deal of orange ink added to the calendar, the births of many babies and the addition of new friends’ birthdays. Sadly, lots of death dates have been added, too. If I live to be an old lady, will there be orange print on every square?

Most of us keep track of life by our calendars, and it’s hard to imagine a future time when we’ll no longer need them. But Aunt Agnes (and Nate) are living in a calendar-free environment along with millions of others, and one day we’ll be there, too.

At the moment of death, time comes to a screeching halt, a truth we have trouble internalizing. None of us has ever known life outside of time. Everything we do depends on the day-night cycle of 24 hours: sleeping, eating, working and taking out the garbage.

When we no longer have access to a clock or a calendar, how will we know what to do when? What if we forget some important dates?

I’ve been frightened thinking about eternity, not about the afterlife in general but about not having a way to mark time. God made all of us time-sensitive. It’s possible Adam and Eve were the only two people who didn’t give time a thought, though they did experience day and night, morning and evening. After death, even those general guidelines disappear.

Back in the sixties, during the Viet Nam War, POWs found ways to mark off their days in captivity, even if it was just a dot on the wall. We all want to know where we stand. Yet from ages past, Scripture has taught that we’re eternal beings, meant to live forever. In our heart-of-hearts we know that, but have we embraced it?

More often than not we ascribe calendar characteristics to heaven. We say, “Grandma has celebrated five birthdays with Jesus now,” or “Dad has enjoyed 19 Christmases in paradise.” This we understand. But from their perspective, heaven’s citizens know we’re talking nonsense.

Nate and Aunt AgnesOn several occasions I’ve sat quietly and meditated on the word “eternal,” trying hard to take in its meaning and begin thinking biblically. But each time it’s been unsettling. There’s always more… and more… and more. This doesn’t compute for me. It does for some people, though, Aunt Agnes and Nate among them.

I guess the only way to cope with such a mystery is to entrust it to God’s keeping, knowing he’ll explain it to us when the time… is right.

“He has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

In a Timely Manner

Train couponMany months after Nate died, I came across an expired coupon worth $8.00. The title read, “NICTD CONFIRMATION OF A LATE TRAIN.” Google let me know that NICTD stood for Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District, and it was clear what had happened.

Before Nate and I moved to SW Michigan in 2009, he had commuted to Chicago’s Loop from the suburbs for 37 years. After we moved, he still traveled to the Loop, but from the opposite direction, riding the South Shore Line from Michigan City.

Although Nate often bragged about the punctual Chicago trains, apparently the NICTD didn’t have the same track record. Many late trains coaxed them to establish a coupon system offering passengers a pay-back for extreme tardiness. Along the side of Nate’s coupon it reads, “60+MINUTES LATE.” That’s a woefully overdue train.

The cross-shaped punches in Nate’s coupon indicate he was on board this “at least 60+ minutes late” train on his fourth commuting day. With his back in severe pain and his body suffering from hidden pancreatic cancer, he must have been beyond miserable while the train sat on a track neither here nor there.

I can tell from Nate’s oversized handwriting on the coupon that he was frustrated. I don’t know why he never redeemed it, surely intending to do so on principle. He used to say that when someone contracts to be on time, they should be, and each ticket purchased is a mini-contract.

Nate was always on time. If he was late for anything, it was because I had something to do with it, an aggravation during our early years together. He was right to be punctual, and I was wrong to be late. But as married people learn to do when compromise doesn’t work, one partner gives in, and with us it was Nate. I wish I’d tried harder to pull myself together.

South Shore LineBut God was watching, appreciating Nate’s desire to be on time. I say that because God is never late, and we are to emulate him. He usually waits to act until we think he is late, but when he comes through, it’s always spectacular. In this, he’s trying to teach us it’s important to be on time.

Those who’ve mastered punctuality on earth have already stockpiled treasure in heaven. Nate gets double credit for his efforts, because he put the interests of his wife ahead of his own by giving me grace. But both “early people” and “late people” will get some time-related perks in paradise. The “earlies” will never again have to struggle with the “lates”, and the “lates” will have all the time they need.

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand. (Psalm 31:14-15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. As I receive infusion #8 tomorrow, I thank you for praying against nausea.
  2. My extra-busy week continues through this week as well. Thank you for your prayers for stamina and proper rest.