Category Archives: Infertility

Family Updates, Part II: Grandchildren

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Our family patriarch died of cancer on November 3, 2009. Within six months God had increased our ranks by bringing three new grandchildren to us. Nate and I have five grandbabies altogether, and I believe he knows more about each of them than I have yet learned.

A few years ago, when I was in my early sixties, I’d complained to more than a few friends that I was getting old without any grandchildren. Everyone I knew seemed to be “ahead of me” having the time of their lives with their little ones. Nate encouraged me by saying, “Don’t worry. When they come, it’ll probably be in a litter.” To my great joy, that’s what happened.

Skylar Grace – This sparkly little ball of fire was born in July of 2008, a miracle of God who came to be after doctors insisted a child would be impossible. She banished tears and brought laughter, and calls me Grandma Midgee. Because she’s been an early talker, we now converse over the phone like two regular people rather than an adult to a baby. In September she’s coming from Florida to visit, and I can’t wait!

Nicholas Carl – This little guy, born in January of 2009, already has dual citizenship in both the United States and the United Kingdom. His father took a British bride, and we are all wondering if Nicholas will have an accent like his daddy or his mummy. He arrived with a compliant personality and has been going with the flow ever since, giving his parents no trouble and learning life’s lessons with optimism and a smile.

Micah Nathan – Round as a butterball, Micah came to us three months after Nate died, in February of this year. He bears his grandfather’s name and will hear stories of who this man was, knowing him at least in this way. Watching a lively older sister is Micah’s favorite pastime, although mealtime runs a close second. I was hoping for at least one redhead, and Micah’s head-fuzz is hinting toward that end.

Evelyn Sarah – This little one, the female half of a double surprise blessing, arrived four months ago. The petite one of the pair, she makes few demands and finds security in the presence of her twin brother. They still sleep in the same crib, and when one wakes during the night, the other wakes, too, sharing meal time with mummy as a threesome.

Thomas Nathan – Since the name Thomas means twin, this little guy is aptly named. The fact that he’s a second baby-Nathan is double-joy to me and I hope one day to him. Thomas arrived weighing a pound more than Evelyn and has kept the weight-lead since then, growing tall well ahead of his petite sister. Several of us will be visiting the twins and Nicholas in October, refreshing relationships that span an ocean.

In Scripture, Job experienced losses in every life category including ten family deaths in one day. Ravaged with grief, he turned toward God and said, “The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away.” In our case, although our losses were not as catastrophic as Job’s, we say the same thing, only in reverse: “The Lord has taken away (Nate’s life), and the Lord has given us what we have (three new lives).”

Five little ones in 21 months? Now, that’s a litter! Job’s bottom line is ours, too: “Praise the name of the Lord!”

“ ‘The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!’ In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.” (Job 1:21b-22)

July 22, 2008

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When our granddaughter Skylar first came to be as a tiny, almost invisible division of cells, she was God’s secret, just as every conception of life is, for a while. In this case, however, the Lord must have felt a certain eagerness to share his well-planned surprise with our daughter Linnea and her husband Adam.

This young couple’s sad history with infertility (www.KissYourMiracle.com“my story”), had left them pondering life without a family. They’d excitedly talked about having children from the time of their engagement, but after months of painful, expensive tests, doctors had told them natural conception was impossible. In the midst of their grief, they decided to pray for a miracle anyway and trust God with whatever happened, baby or no baby.

Eighteen months later, when Linnea began feeling poorly while teaching her high school English classes, she never  suspected a pregnancy. But as symptoms increased and she found herself falling into bed earlier and earlier each night, a light switched on inside Adam’s head.

After a home pregnancy test produced a positive, they decided it was probably a faulty test and went back to the store for a second one, a different brand. But that one was positive, too! Reluctant to believe it, they decided to see their doctor, who did a third test in his office, another positive! But it wasn’t until they saw their peanut-sized baby on an ultrasound screen that they succumbed to hysterical happiness and believed they were actually going to have a baby. Because of physical problems and the medical impossibility of becoming pregnant, no one could explain how it had happened.

But God……

…..had plans.

While Linnea was pregnant, I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you walking on egg shells, Honey? Aren’t you afraid to breathe?”

Her answer revealed a mature faith in the Creator of their child. “Mom, this baby is totally God’s, not ours. If he decided to take him or her right now, how could I object?”

Then, on a hot July night in Florida, eight days overdue, Skylar finally arrived. She was given the middle name Grace, because of God. And what an explosion of life she was! I flew south on the afternoon they came home from the hospital, eager to meet God’s amazing surprise package. But within 24 hours we were contemplating a trip to the emergency room for all her non-stop, fenzied screaming. This child had stamina beyond our imagining!

At the time, my podunk theory was that she was an active toddler locked in the powerless body of a newborn, frustrated and unable to expend her boundless energy in any way other than crying. As silly that that sounds, it has proven true. When she began sitting, crawling, walking, running and talking, she got happier and happier.

Today she turned two, and our sparkly Skylar never ceases to delight us all. We can’t imagine life without all the laughter and joy she’s brought along with her, nor can we ever forget that God, in a show of lavish grace, sent our Skylar Grace.

To this day, medical personnel and Skylar’s parents have no idea how she came to be. Everyone agreed, “It’s totally impossible.”

But God said…..

….. “Ya think?”

“She who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:36b-37)

June 24, 1977

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Any little girl who grows up among four brothers learns how to hold her own. Our Linnea, from the age of two, could “deliver the goods” when necessary, learning early that words hold power. Although the rest of us had trouble keeping a straight face when she lectured in her toddler voice, she got the job done.

She made a good choice in not letting the boys run all over her, and she’s made many other good ones with the rest of her 33 years. The best one was made the day she invited Jesus into her life as a four year old. When her Grandma arrived for dinner that night, Linnea took her upstairs to her room, shut the door and said, “Guess what, Grandma! Jesus came into my heart today, and if you put your hand here [on my heart], you can feel him jumping up and down!”

The day Linnea was born I remember standing at the hospital nursery window with Nate and my parents as the nurse wheeled the clear acrylic bed close enough for us to see this new little relative. “She’ll always be optimistic,” Dad said.

Wondering how he could know this from one quick glance at a newborn, I asked him. He said, “The corners of her mouth turn up naturally, and that’s what that means.”

He was right. She’s always looked for the uplifting detail in every scenario and has been an encourager of others all along the way. It was her optimism that prayed faithfully for a sister (see April 28 blog) and was rewarded with two. Both of those girls, 11 and 13 years younger than Linnea, would say they love their older sister’s non-judgmental attitude toward others and the way she points out the good in everyone. The words, “She’s an inspiration to me” have come out more than once.

Another positive choice was Adam. Although many newlyweds struggle to adjust, both Adam and Linnea found Year One to be the easiest of their lives. That was the calm before the storm, however, as they were devastated to learn they might never have children. Such a blow could drive a wedge between husband and wife but in this case served to bond them tightly. When they were given not one but two miracle babies, they gave God all the credit. Even though raising two-under-two is exhausting, Linnea and Adam never take their children for granted.

Nate was the one who named Linnea, and I’ll never forget him coming to the hospital the day after she was born with a ruffled bonnet he’d bought at Marshall Fields. She was his only daughter for the first 15 years of fathering, and he treated her like a princess, wanting to give her the desires of her heart.

She follows in Nate’s footsteps as a list-maker and Post-it note user, organizing her life and projects well, setting goals and meeting them. Her love for education jived with his, and he was proud of her as a high school English teacher. Linnea didn’t hesitate, however, when the option to be a stay-at-home mom presented itself. Even tenure didn’t hold her at the school, and she’s never looked back.

It’s my great delight to be Linnea’s friend, and I’ve learned much from this daughter. She’s a walking, talking model of the fruits of the Spirit, and because of this, her opinion is valuable to me, and there is power in her words. God sure was good to us on June 24, 1977.

“Pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” (Romans 14:19)