Category Archives: Learning from our past

Young Love (#46)

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Things were heating up on the home front, a little more with each passing day. Nate and I were feeling bad about Mom but most of all were stressed by being separated as the crisis developed.

Meanwhile, I figured out that when Nate was finished with Army camp and came north to spend time with my folks, there would be no place for him to stay. They would have moved from their large home to a small one with only two bedrooms: one for them and one for my brother Tom. I had planned to stay with them, too, as before. But now what would we do?

missing-himJune 29, 1969 – Dear Nate, a beautiful person. Tonight as my thoughts turned to Ft. Riley and to my fiancé and his phone call early this morning, I suddenly realized how very much I love him and need him, and how I’m longing to be married to him. My eyes filled with tears and I was overwhelmed with love for the man I will marry in November. At that moment I wanted you next to me so bad that I got a stomach ache. You are so far away! I NEED to be with you.

 

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you, and have been thinking a wonderful thought – that you will be the mother of our children. Let’s name the first girl Karen Meg. What do you think? Well, after another 17 hours washing pots and pans, I should sleep now. Tomorrow we’re having a big inspection here. Lots of pressure and rushing around. I’m thankful that the July 4th weekend is a sure thing for us. Has the ring arrived yet?

momJune 29, 1969 – Dear Nate. Mary called me tonight, and we talked over an hour, steamrolling right past a planned get-together with my friend Kathy. Mom had called Mary, all upset about our choice to get married in November. She said I never came “home” except to drop things off or get things, and that she wished I would spend more time there. Since I had just been there to talk with them, that hurt… and I started to bawl on the phone to Mary. Oh how I wish you were here to help me through this! It makes me feel like not going home at all, but I know that would only turn into a bigger problem later on. I’ve got to keep trying to get closer to Mom, offering more chances to talk with her. I wish she would have told me this when I was just there, rather than calling Mary instead. But Mary was very encouraging tonight, telling me things will get better once I have the ring. She also said that the final decision about a wedding date is up to us, and the parents will eventually accept it and be positive. I wonder.

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am so excited to see you soon and am thinking about you and our wedding non-stop. We have so many delicious things to talk about when you come! Thanks for being patient with this separation. I am going to be a husband worthy of you. I pray for us throughout every day. Our inspection is today, and I suppose the outcome will be based on some Army major’s whim.

June 29, 1969 – Dear Nate. Come August, you and I will have nowhere to stay together. My folks will have moved, and there won’t be room for us. I guess we’ll be homeless. And for me, jobless, too. Ugh.

“As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Young Love (#42)

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Just as Nate and I were moving happily toward engagement, my old boyfriend called again.

Memories of him had been fading, because my thought-life was filled with Nate and our bright future together. The boyfriend’s phone call threw me for a loop, but after we hung up, I gave it some rational thought and saw a pattern. Though we didn’t have a lot of contact, he did call every few weeks, which always pulled me back into the relationship.

He didn’t want to come between Nate and I but did want a friendship to continue. The problem, however, was at my end. Such a friendship would come at a high price for Nate and thus for me, too, and my greatest longing was for a marriage that would thrive in every way.

line-in-the-sandSo, for once I used common sense. Surely God was answering Nate’s daily prayer request for guidance. And I knew it was time to draw a line in the sand.

Rather than get together socially as he called to do, I drove to his house to tell him face-to-face that Nate and I were about to get engaged. There would be no room for another guy-girl relationship in my life, and so he and I needed to terminate all contact. He didn’t think it had to be that way but said he would honor my request.

It was a difficult task, but it got done.

June 24, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It was a taste of dolce vita the last time we were together. A walk late on a June evening with you is everything. Meg, I love you. Kisses enclosed. P.S. Quit giggling, my little brown bear.

encouraging-lettersJune 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your letters are so wonderful and encouraging to my missing you. You are such a stable, well-organized person (even in your thought-life), and oh how I need help in those things! You and I will help each other in many ways. But more than anything, I need you as my partner. I love you dearly, and I’m confident that as the months pass when we are together, we will love more, love deeper, and love in a way that cannot be replaced by anything else, ever. I will always need you and always want you in every way. I love you!

June 25, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Your engagement ring should arrive at your apartment in a few days. Don’t open it! It’s hard being away from you, but I do want to sacrifice to defend the United States of America so that Meg can be safe and so we can live together in liberty. I love you with every fiber of my being. The ultimate in my life is marrying you.

June 25, 1969 – Dear DEAR Nate. I miss our talking times and especially our prayer times… more than I ever dreamed I would.

fireworksJune 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Tomorrow I have KP – up at 3:45 AM and work to 10:00 PM. But that means 4,5,6 July will be completely free. I’ll drive into Topeka on the morning of the 4th and leave the evening of the 6th. Thanks for all the wedding planning lists. You’re a big help now and will help me in the future as a lawyer and lieutenant!

June 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. Guess what! I got my Corvette back!!! It’s an absolutely WILD tale of how the Chicago police found it and how they caught the 2 idiots who stole it. I’ll tell you all about it!

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Oh that my actions would consistently reflect [his] decrees!” (Psalm 119:1,5)

Young Love (#31)

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Although Nate and I were both set on marrying in January of 1970 rather than waiting till the summer, our 4 parents knew nothing of our plans. They hadn’t even met each other. We knew they’d object to our timing, so putting off the conversation was the path of least resistance, and we went with that.

mary-bervinMary and Bervin had dated for two years, both local to Chicago, and our parents knew Bervin well by the time he gave Mary a ring. Their engagement lasted a full year, and with that timing they had set a family precedent we weren’t planning to follow.

But first-off was to introduce Nate to my friends at a church-sponsored gathering, coupled with additional time spent with my folks. It was important that everybody get to know him better.

May 13, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you and am praying for the answer to the “when” of our marriage. I see many advantages of a January wedding, though it means a short wedding trip. I think of you so often it’s as though we were living together every minute. You are the perfect wife for me. I will make many sacrifices for you and will work very hard. I love you and want to please you.

May 14, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you so very much for the fabulous phone call this afternoon. I love to talk with you and can’t wait till Saturday. I’ll study harder all week knowing it’s coming. I love the idea of you, the picnic, meeting Pastor Sweeting, and private prayer time with you. I pray every night for us, for our decisions and our relationship, asking each time that we follow His plan for us and surrender our lives to His will. I’m thinking of how beautiful you were the last time you came to Champaign, sitting in the sun as it came through the opaque windows. That suntanned face. Our walk down the path to the car. The ride to town, and church the next morning. Ah, I want a lifetime and an eternity of that!

May 14, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m very excited about you coming on Saturday! Please ask permission to be released from overnight dorm duty to stay with my folks one night, ok? I would love that more than anything. We could get so much more out of your visit if you didn’t have to leave on the 9 PM train. I promise to let you study some.

teaberryMay 14, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Your calls are great. Hearing your voice is fabulous. We just must get married in January, engaged in July, and choose your ring in June! We’ll never be apart again! Thanks for the Teaberry gum, but I would rather smell Teaberry on your breath in a kiss.

May 14, 1969 – Today my team teacher was in a very low mood, and usually if we talk things over, she feels much better. But she didn’t feel like sharing with me this time. Both of us had a miserable day because of it, and I still feel bad about not being able to help her. We usually have so much fun together. Coming home tonight to 2 wonderful letters from fabulous Nate was a beautiful top-off to a difficult day. Thank you! I love you.

July 15, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I’m glad you like my letters. They are manifestations of my love for you. The greatest thing about me is loving you. I will always love you and be faithful to you. I have waited a long time and would never do anything to spoil it. I’m looking forward to the weekend but won’t be able to stay overnight. This pre-finals study time is precious, and Saturday is all I can spare. If the Chicago teachers do strike next week, please come down here to be with me in my time of trial (finals!).

July 15, 1969 – Dear Future Husband. Saturday morning’s train can’t come soon enough for me! When my day involves you, it is complete. When I’m not near you, I’m frustrated.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)