Category Archives: Learning from our past

In His Words

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While cleaning out my file cabinet recently, my eye caught the corner of a paper with Nate’s writing on it. Naturally I pulled it out to take a closer look.

Nate's letterIt was a copy of a letter he’d written to Nelson in 1996. The five page synopsis of his career is remarkably candid, touching on the business highs and lows of recent decades. Although Nate had never shared his personal financial data with his children or anyone else, on this occasion he laid everything out in full.

Nelson remembers receiving the original letter and being surprised at how much his father  shared. Nate wrote about a tortured period in his life, crediting an unbalanced love of money as the reason for his struggle.

Below are parts of his letter (with Nelson’s permission). I share it because of its unusual openness and because I know if Nate came back to town with the heavenly perspective he now has, he’d eagerly tell these things to whoever would listen.

Although I won’t share the parts he asked Nelson to “keep confidential,” here’s some of what he wrote:

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Nelson,

The text I constantly think of when I consider the role of the Christian man in American society is Hebrews 12:1 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud if witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Actually the entire 12th chapter of Hebrews is encouragement to live a godly, Christ-centered life in the world – a world of persecution, boredom, temptation, indifference, ridicule, ease, sloth and human needs. “Run the race marked out for us.”

In other words, God’s chosen path for us, not ours. We don’t always get our first choice in the things of this world – sometimes we think we would have chosen a different body, mind, era, parents, generally different circumstances. But Christ’s mission for Christian men is to live out in a godly way what He has selected for us. We are to do so in a way that honors Him. We are to live as an example of Christ to our families, churches and coworkers.

The man who knows Christ wants to live for Him, but as imperfect humans, we fall short. Sometimes we fail because of worldly success and at other times because of failure.

Going southIn my life I went through a period of intense striving for money and the recognition it brings in the U.S.A. [Here Nate detailed his finances and how well he’d been doing at earning.] Then my partner had a stroke. One year later, the Congress passed the Tax Reform Act of 1986. This law reduced the net revenue of my company by $1,000,000 a year, and by 1989 bankrupted me. [To be continued…]

In the blink of an eye wealth disappears, for it will sprout wings    and fly away like an eagle. (Proverbs 23:5)

Praising and Praying with Mary

Gratitude today for two things: they found a good vein for the infusion, and I can skip chemo next Monday in honor of our wedding week.

Pleasure Reading

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Nate was an intellectual, and I used to wonder if my goofy questions were too foolish to ask, not wanting him to think he married a dummy. My mind was like a wind-tunnel, whoosh-in-whoosh-out. Nate’s was like a funnel; information poured into him and stayed there. His favorite leisure activity was reading, especially newspapers, and wherever he sat, a pile of printed material would accumulate.

IMG_0266I remember the day I was planning to ask Nate to read a book I’d found helpful, so we could discuss it. It was about making a good marriage better, and I knew it wasn’t his preferred genre. But I had an idea. First I’d ask if he’d like me to read anything special. Then I’d ask about my book.

When I asked what he’d like me to read, he said, “A daily newspaper.” And surprise-surprise, that wasn’t my preferred genre. Nate loved to discuss current events, and my end was usually no more than a battery of questions. I knew he wished I’d be better informed.

He then said, “And what should I read?” and I handed him the marriage book. He looked it over and said, “Sure. I’ll take a look at it.”

The next morning, after he’d read the first newspaper of his daily four or five and had left for work, I spread out Section 1 on the kitchen counter and began reading. In the next few weeks I gleaned enough from 10 daily minutes with one newspaper to handle dinner conversations, and he perused the marriage book enough to talk about it.

Newspaper articleAlthough we both gravitated back to our earlier preferences, Nate began marking newspaper pages with ballpoint, drawing arrows at articles he thought I’d enjoy reading and leaving them on the kitchen counter. Sometimes he’d jot comments in the margins.

Gradually I applied his condensed method to the books I wished he’d read. I’d Xerox a couple of pages, write a note at the top, and set them next to his newspapers. He always read them, sometimes adding his own comments next to mine and handing them back. Our “distilled” system worked well throughout the years, and we were still using it until cancer took away his ability to read.

Sometimes I think of God as the #1 intellectual of all time. He’s fully informed about every newspaper subject, having actually orchestrated the details behind the world events reported in the articles. Yet he’s also interested in close-to-home topics like marriage and family.

He uses creative ways to point his arrows toward the parts of his Word we need to read, and his comments are written all over it. Best of all, he’s eager to participate in the conversation. And when we call on him, he answers with, “Count me in.”

“Moses and Aaron were among his priests, and Samuel was among those who called on his name. They called upon the Lord and he answered them.” (Psalm 99:6)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. PTL that the tube pain is gone!
  2. Please pray we’ll get the many wedding preparations done on schedule. Only 3 weeks left.

Happy Birthday, Nate.

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Dear Nate…

IMG_1744Today was the 5th year in a row you weren’t here to celebrate your birthday with us, and the 5th year I’ve written you a letter on your special day. All of your children checked in with your wife during the day, and we reminisced about the years we had with you. Your family loves you.

Even as I write that, though, I realize you have a new extended family where you are now, each one a heavenly relative, most you hadn’t even met till you got to heaven. You probably don’t miss us like we miss you, but that’s ok. Someday we’ll all understand, when we’re there, too.

In the mean time, here’s a sampling of comments from a few of your children today. Birgitta said, “When I think of Papa, I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness for the man he was! He will always be missed.”

Linnea said, “Being on vacation right now reminds me of all the fun vacations Papa took us on as kids.”

Nelson commented about the 5 years that have passed since you died. He concluded with this: “Time on earth really is short. It’s challenging to think about how we spend our time and what’s important.”

???????????????????????????????Today I’ve been thinking about the 25 Augusts we spent in the North Woods of Wisconsin, always celebrating our birthdays together there with the family. It struck me that when we started going to Afterglow Lake Resort, we were both 32. When we ended that tradition, we were 57 – having gone from “kids” to middle-age adults as we birthday-partied through those years. Yes, indeed, time is short.

I often wonder if you’re aware of our lives on earth. Do you know your sister-in-law Mary has the same cancer you had? We’re grateful it was caught early and that she did well through radical surgery to remove the tumor.

Now she’s enduring the miseries of chemotherapy, without complaint. Maybe you already knew that. Today, as she was making her way to her 12th infusion, she took time to write a tribute to you. And I thought you’d appreciate it as much as I did. She wrote:

???????????????????????????????I’m thinking of Nate today and all the happy memories we have. Your blog also reminded me of how magnificently he did as he soldiered on through all that God called him to endure, all the way to the end.

He is a good example for me and continues to inspire, even though he’s no longer with us. I often wondered why the Lord facilitated or allowed my being present for much of Nate’s last weeks, and now I know. I needed to see firsthand how a person dies well. Nate did that, and I pray I might do as well when my time comes. He was a good, trustworthy, and faithful man who ran the race marked out for him with grace and perseverance. We miss him.

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Amen to that.

I love you, Nate.

I thank my God every time I remember you. (Philippians 1:3)